‘You Will Share The Apartment With 16 Well Mannered Cats And 2 Roombas’

Looking for summer home to sublet? Have you considered the Washington, DC area? Well perhaps you should!

For sublet, June 3rd – August 25th. 1 BR in a 2BR apartment in Dupont circle. Furnished, all utilities included.

I will be away for the summer in Denmark attending the summer-long Danish Cat Convention. You will share the apartment with 16 well mannered cats and 2 Roombas. The cats will occupy the other bedroom, and the roombas will be on patrol to help keep the hair situation under control. I will ask that you refill the cats’ automated food dispensers once a week, and clean the Roomba filters every three days or so. Below is a brief description of the housecatmates:

Here’s where it really gets great…

Polly – shy, quiet, tabby
Bitnum – playful, clawy
Lightning – slow, old
Lighting II – slow, young
Bebop – paranoid, jumpy
Cappy – sneaky, grouchy
Apina – knowledgeable, soft
Grobor – Incessant, loquacious
Kyle – stylish
Leesha – aged, engaged
Somtorious – idle
Gleebok – green-tinted
Horatio – friendly, mild-mannered
Bananana – a little off
Hoppy – jumpy
Duran – pensive

Roombas:
Gregor – Robotic, kitcheny
Sandra – Robotic, hallway-y

As a connoisseur of fake Craigslist ads, I can say with almost absolute certainty that this is fake, or at least the cat aspect of it is. If I had to guess, it’s someone’s clever way of finding just the right person to sublet their apartment. Besides, there appears to be no such thing as a “summer-long Danish cat convention.”

Then again, I’ve been wrong before!

(via @lizzieoreally)