Just a few days ago in his Deadspin “Funbag” column, Kissing Suzy Kolber’s Drew Magary was asked by a reader, “Did Osama Bin Laden have porn?” In his reply, Drew speculated that, somewhere on one of the many hard drives confiscated by U.S. special forces, “there’s probably a closeup of something that looks like an otter having a tonsillectomy and to you it’s some unidentifiable video but to bin Laden is was the hottest sex tape ever made.” It looks like he was right! So go ahead and get your Osama Bin Wankin’ jokes ready, people!
A stash of pornography was found in the hideout of Osama bin Laden by the U.S. commandos who killed him, current and former U.S. officials said on Friday.
The pornography recovered in bin Laden’s compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, consists of modern, electronically recorded video and is fairly extensive, according to the officials, who discussed the discovery with Reuters on condition of anonymity.
So in the, what, two weeks since his compound was raided, we’ve learned that Osama Bin Laden likely stayed at home for years smoking weed, watching TV, poppin’ some sort of herbal Viagra and wanking it all over himself. In other words, the mythical Osama Bin Laden was no different than your jerkoff, loser cousin. How funny is that?
The only way this can get any better is if they found gay porn in there. PLEASE GOD MAKE THIS HAPPEN! Meanwhile, right-wing buttplug Jonah Goldberg is hoping that there’s a Bin Laden sex tape somewhere in the stash, and he wants to see it. Go figure.
(Pic via Drew’s Deadspin column)