This Week In Review: Who Are We Kidding? It’s All About Charlie Sheen

Senior Writer
03.04.11 2 Comments

This past week may be the first time in pop culture history that an entire week (not to mention the previous week and the weeks to come) has been dominated by one person. Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, President Obama, even Hosni Mubarak – not one of them has controlled the media and our collective Oohs and Ahs like Charlie Sheen. Sure, blog hipsters like myself are starting to declare our fatigue and turn against Sheen and his amazing cache of insane phrases, but there hasn’t been a more plentiful quote machine since Anchorman.
As The Daily Show and Colbert Report have so wonderfully pointed out, every network with the exception of CBS, and including Howard Stern on Sirius Radio and TMZ, has aired “exclusive” interviews with Sheen in the face of pressing national matters like the protests in Wisconsin and international affairs like the growing unrest in Libya. At the end of the day, though, insane, coked out celebrities sell advertising dollars, so Sheen it is. And while he doesn’t dominate this “Week in Review”, he sure as hell comes close…

As Matt and DangerGuerrero at Warming Glow showed us, Charlie Sheen’s endless string of insane quotes has made for an Internet bonanza of memes. F18 jets, fists of fire, fingertips of poetry and magic, winning, scoreboards, Vatican assassins warlocks, goddesses and btichin’ rock star lifestyles have ruled the picture format in more ways than anyone could imagine. But that’s because the Internet runs on tiger blood. Duh.
Thanks to the world of 140 characters or less, Sheen’s quotes are going to keep on rolling in. Charlie joined Twitter earlier this week and within a day he was up to a staggering 750K+ followers (more than 1.3 million at press time). With just one Tweet! That Tweet, of course, was a picture of him and his “goddess” and adult film starlet Rachel Oberlin AKA Bree Olson. Most shockingly, and disappointingly, they were just drinking chocolate milk and pineapple juice. But I’m sure they called it the devil’s tropical breast milk.

But who says the picture memes get all the fun? Videos have been popping up from one side of the Internet to the other, using Sheen’s sound bites in inconceivably awesome ways. This dubstep remix of Sheen’s interview from Good Morning America is probably my favorite, but that’s so unfair to the rest of the marvelous videos out there. I wish there could be a television network devoted to Charlie’s interviews and all of the video remixes. Also, Charles in Charge.
(Via Buzzfeed, which also awesomely added a “Winning” tab to its arsenal of criticism.)

Oliver Noble is FilmDrunk’s video editor for a reason, and the best example of that reason is his instant classic mash-up of Sheen’s recent quotes and Mel Gibson’s iconic rants to his ex-wife, as well as Christian Bale‘s breakdown on the set of Terminator: Salvation. And sure, David Letterman’s team aired a similar mash-up during Wednesday night’s Late Show, but we know who had the idea first. It was probably a pothead elbow deep in a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, but thankfully Oliver and FilmDrunk beat him to it.

While on Saturday Night Live, Jimmy Fallon always showed great promise with dead-on impersonations of celebrities. Too bad he broke almost every sketch he was in by laughing like a high school improv troupe rookie. But these impressions have become a redeeming quality as he’s honed his skills and chops on Late Night. His latest offering is a spoof of Sheen’s quotes as a fragrance commercial and it’s magnificent. In fact, if he had broke this time, it would have been acceptable.
While nothing will beat the delight that we got from the Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness from Parks and Recreation, the geniuses at Deuce of Clubs tried their damndest and delivered the incredibly awesome Charlie Sheen Pyramid of Greatness. And all you have to see is “Winning” at the top and you know that they nailed it. What it lacks in uniqueness, it more than makes up for in briefcases of happiness.
Some photos popped up recently of TV chef Paula Deen acting crazy, licking stuff off of a man’s stomach and then riding him around, and while I was far too ill to find out the context of her actions, at least one pioneering Tumblr site turned it into a new meme. Paula Deen Riding Things is exactly what the name implies, and by the picture above you can tell they even found a way to include Sheen in the fun.
An unknown hooligan hacked professional Tweeter Ashton Kutcher’s Twitter account, leaving the above message for the guy who tortured us with trucker hats. But because he has a ton of Twitter followers, his account was used as an example at the TED Conference in Long Beach, CA to show that nobody is safe from hackers. And just in case you don’t get the reference in the Tweet, the LA Times is here to blow this case wide open:

Also worth noting for fans of the man married to Demi Moore, the line “Dude, where’s my SSL?” looks to be a nod to Kutcher’s year-2000 film, “Dude, Where’s My Car?” and “you’ve been Punk’d” is a nudge to the Punk’d series that used to run on the cable network MTV.

Thanks, me so dumb. Never get joke.
While out on a date for his 17th birthday with his girlfriend Selena Gomez at Maggiano’s in Los Angeles, teen pop sensation Justin Bieber gave the unofficial Canadian salute to some paparazzi that got a little too close to his car. The Biebs has since apologized for his loose cannon finguistics, but it’s nice to see that the “Baby Baby Baby” crooner knows how to stand his ground. No word yet on what that finger did after the date. *rim shot*

The song above is called “Jam Turn It Up” and it was “recorded” by Kim Kardashian. I’m kind of speechless. If the word “terrible” could be eaten by a mutant animal and pooped out, it still wouldn’t do justice to this… song? Ugh, I feel terrible even calling this music.
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  • 19.5% of 8th graders, 28.2% of 10th graders and 38.9% of 12th graders claim that it’s “very easy” to obtain cocaine. 38.6% of American children ages 12 and older claimed to have tried cocaine at least once. Meanwhile, 0% of children in any age range have ever claimed to have tried the drug known as “Charlie Sheen”. (My Addiction)
  • Charlie Sheen’s highest grossing movie was Platoon in 1986, and it made more than $138 million. Before that film and since, his next highest grossing film was Scary Movie 3, which grossed more than $110 million. 3 of his last 6 movie roles have been cameos, and his last movie to gross over $40 million was Money Talks in 1997. Meanwhile, Charlie made $2 million per episode for Two and a Half Men. Food for thought, I guess. (Box Office Mojo)

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