- I AM [A TNA WRESTLER] AND I RESPECT YOU, [FELLOW TNA WRESTLER]. WE HAVE DONE [A TAG TEAM THING PROBABLY] TOGETHER IN THE PAST, SO I KNOW FIRSTHAND JUST HOW MUCH RESPECT TO SHOW TO YOU, JEFF HARDY UH I MEAN [TNA WRESTLER STANDING IN FRONT OF ME].
- NO, IT IS I, [TNA WRESTLER], WHO RESPECT YOU [TNA WRESTLER TRYING TO DO ALL OF THE RESPECTING HIMSELF]. I HAVE ALWAYS SAID THAT YOU ARE THE BEST [WRESTLER/TAG TEAM PARTNER/TAG TEAM OPPONENT/CATERING GUY] IN THIS COMPANY, AND IT WOULD BE AN HONOUR TO FACE YOU IN [AMERICAN CITY]. NOW LET US SHAKE HANDS AS A SYMBOL OF OUR SHARED RESPECT, AND SWEAR TO KEEP RESPECTING EACH OTHER UNTIL WE HATE EACH OTHER NEXT MONTH OVER [LITERALLY NOTHING OF CONSEQUENCE].
*INTENSE RESPECT GLARES*
I’m…Not Sure: Don’t hinder Tinder
I am an old lady with a real life love interest who had to have Tinder explained to her by an indie wrestling referee. I am out of touch, and so very far from being this demographic. I do, however, really hope we get to meet the French bulldog.
I’m gonna so mad when we don’t get to meet the French Bulldog.
Best: It’s Yellow Gear day!
Well now, I can’t be a big jerkface on Yellow Gear day!
Best: Fan shoutout…
…to that guy in the front row who does EC3’s entrance along with him. In world where you’re either NEXUS or AGAINSTUS, that guy is totally NEXUS.
Best: ‘Sup Ethan Carter III
Look at me make it through a whole NXT report last week without saying that all of my favourites don’t work there anymore but totally should. Kudos to me and my restraint! At the end of the day, however, Ethan Carter III is the sunshine of my Not Thursday But Wednesday nights. Missed you, bro.
I’m going to extend this best to this whole match, because I’m a grownup and I do what I want, but also because I just really enjoyed it. Two guys who have a reason to fight fighting? That’s it. It’s so simple. Canonical reasons for wanting to get up in each other’s stuff and tear it apart. EC3 is mad and wants to stay mad and show how mad he is all over Rhino. Rhino makes weird faces and wants to gore stuff. Both stay true to their characters, and can progress forward without a future rematch seeming like a retread. How is this match not a thing I’m going to love?
Worst: DON’T LOOK A SPUD LIKE THAT
BFF! BFF FOREVER! IF WE’RE SPEAKING CANDIDLY I’M STILL GOING TO BE ON YOUR SIDE BUT I WANT SPUD THERE TOO! FRIENDSHIP-BASED EVERYTHING! :(
Best: Tazz vs. The Internet
Tazz and Tenay are shilling the upcoming tapings in Bethlehem, PA, as you do, but then Tazz breaks out this super sarcastic voice to say that he knows “Internet wrestling fans love when we talk about old wrestling, and the history of wrestling in New York and Philadelphia. They love hearing that stuff; they love to report on it heh heh heh.” The sarcasm implies that we don’t, and you’re willfully doing stuff that fans hate. I don’t know if that is the appropriate time for sarcasm. Do…you want us to talk about that part of it on the internet? That’s sorta my job. I…don’t know if Tazz understands how this all works.