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The Best And Worst Of Impact Wrestling 8/27/14: BORE! BORE! BORE!

By / 08.28.14

Worst: The Protege of the Superkick of the Cowboy James Storm

WHAT’S KIYOSHI DOING BACK IN THE IMPACT ZONE, TAZZ?

KIYOSHI

IMPACT WRESTLING


Worst: Whoopsy doodles

Moving to Wednesday nights totally screwed up TNA’s plan to debut a war hero differently-abled wrestler in New York on the anniversary of 9/11, meaning we’ll have a little more leeway to judge him on his own merits.

Best: But hey, whoopsy doodles!

Moving to Wednesday nights totally screwed up TNA’s plan to debut a war hero differently-abled wrestler in New York on the anniversary of 9/11, meaning we’ll have a little more leeway to judge him on his own merits!

Worst: If he sucks…

…I can’t come back to America again, can I.

Worst: Best of Three? More like…WORST…of three…heh

The Wolves, the Hardys, and the Dudleys have to wrestle each other in a Best-Of-Three series for the tag belts and also glory and honour or whatever. The winner of the first match picks the stipulation for the second match, and so forth. This could go one of a few ways:

1) The Dudleys win the first one setting up a tables match, The Hardys win the second one setting up A LAADDDDER MATCH, and nobody cares when the Dudleys win the third because age before anything else is the TNA way
2) The Hardys win because the Dudleys respect them and the Wolves just aren’t good enough
3) The Wolves win, earn respect from the veterans, everyone high-fives each other under one of Bully Ray’s tables
4) They each win one, and we continue to have rematch after rematch until one of them gets the call to go back to WWE, or I give up on Impact entirely and just write burning missives about how much I want to be friends with Tyler Breeze and his puppy

OR Option C) The Wolves study enough tape to singlehandedly dismantle the other two teams one at a time. They bust out new moves and pacing, and decide to f-ck the system and go ham on these old dudes and keep their belts. In this scenario Eddie Edwards also becomes The World’s Most Somewhat Interesting Man, and makes me care about a match he’s in all on his own. Davey Richards never slaps his leg ever. Nobody respects anybody, and everybody (me) is happy.

Nope, it’s #1.

Join us next week when we set up a ladder match, and I just copy and paste what I’ve said above. What? If they can do it, why can’t I?

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TOPICS#IMPACT WRESTLING
TAGSBEST AND WORST OF IMPACTbest and worst of tnabobby lashleyBULLY RAYchris melendezdavey richardsdevonEC3eddie edwardsETHAN CARTER IIIJAMES STORMJEFF HARDYjessicka havokKENNY KINGKURT ANGLEmadison rayneMATT HARDYMR. ANDERSONMVPPRO WRESTLINGROCKSTAR SPUDseiya sanadaTARYN TERRELLTAZZthe best and worst of impact wrestlingThe Best and Worst of TNA Impactthe dudleysthe wolvesTNATNA IMPACT

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