Best: Just Whup ‘im So We Can Go Eat
Show Henry continue to be totally loveable. Show momentarily slips into “entertaining” mode during this backstage interview and Henry is all, “shut up, I’m hungry, let’s go dummy”. Big Show has always needed somebody to keep him on an even keel — without guidance he’s a monster one week, and wearing a cupid diaper the next. Henry is the stern, but ultimately decent voice of reason Show has always needed to guide him. I hope these guys team up for the rest of their careers.
Best: La Vaquita
I know, I shouldn’t be Besting Hornswoggle in a cow suit, but I can’t help but take some perverse pleasure in seeing Hornswoggle finally hit rock bottom. First of all, we’ve come full-circle and are now seeing the inverse of this, uh, “classic” Hornswoggle/Chavo Guerrero moment…
Second, Vaquita is, specifically, Spanish for a female cow, and that suit has an udder, so you don’t have to read too far between the lines to see where Swoggle now stands in relation to his former blood-rival Torito. I mean, maybe he’s totally into it — there is a fine line between love and hate, but I’m kind of hoping he’s not. Yeeeah, maybe that makes me a bad person, but on the other hand, Hornswoggle.
Main Event Status: SLATA GATA BABY! I’ll give this one a 10%.
Seriously, how tiny is this lady?
Best: A Smackdown Tease I Actually Want To See
The last few weeks Main Event has been taunting this poor B-show reviewer by “promoting” Smackdown with promises of Randy Orton promos and Miz TV. This week though, they set up a Seth Rollins/Jack Swagger match, which actually sounds mildly intriguing. Certainly more interesting “Randy Orton is going to say words”.
Best: Big Show vs. Rowan
This wasn’t a great match, but it was solid, and a solid singles match with Big Show is far from a certainty these days. Erick Rowan has transformed into a legitimately good tag team wrestler, but hasn’t quite put all the pieces together for singles matches. He worked Show’s leg over for a while, then just sort of forgot about it and spent too much time doing his double Sgt. Slaughter noogie in the middle-portion of the match. Still, Rowan has an impressive physical presence and the match moved at a good pace and featured another casual Big Show bodyslam by Rowan. I’m not sure what kind of future Rowan can have outside of the Wyatts, but good on ‘im for improving himself.
Main Event Status: This was more or less an extended squash, but I refuse to give anything Show Henry-related less than a 25%.
Final Main Event Tally: If you’re out there reading Main Event booker (considering I’m maybe the only person on the Internet seriously dissecting this show, it’s a possibility) thanks for returning to four matches this week! You still only made it 70% of the way towards earning the show’s title, but this was a major improvement over last week.