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The Best And Worst Of Impact Wrestling 9/3/14: The Moment Of Gunception

By 09.04.14


Worst: F-ck yourself forever, Tazz

And here’s the Air Raid Crash to my heart. See, it’s a really powerful thing to see someone like Jessicka Havok debut on television. It’s not just because she’s one of my legitimate favourite wrestlers hands down. That’s a big part of it, but it’s way more than that. I’ve written a million times over about the effect that seeing someone like Luna Vachon and Bull Nakano can have on impressionable girls; someone who doesn’t look like the idea of what we’re told we have to look like to be wanted and loved and accepted as a Real Girl being given the opportunity to be different and kick ass and reveling in it. The sad thing is that when you grow up, that pressure doesn’t stop. The culture of marketing to women is rooted in the idea that we need to fix what’s wrong with us: be skinnier, be prettier, look younger, buy this make-up, buy these Spanx, there’s always other products, you can make them like you. In wrestling, we’re only given so many role models to pick from on television, and trust me when I say their body types (and personalities) do not vary from a specific create-a-lady-wrestler mold. These feminine ideals we’re told to strive for every day also carry the stigma that if you reach whatever acceptable bar for womanhood that has been set, you can never serve any other purpose than looking “good.”

Jessicka Havok isn’t built like say, Kelly Kelly or Velvet Sky, and that’s fine. It’s totally fine. Jessicka Havok is beautiful. Jessicka Havok is powerful. Jessicka Havok doesn’t fit any mold you expect to see on television and it’s wonderful. It’s inspiring. She comes out after a baller match between two ladies who already shatter the preconceived notions of what a match should be between women who look like that, and she f-cking destroys them, and leaves them lying in the ring because she’s a goddamn monster and it’s the best thing in the world. Everything about what happened in the ring said hey, you can be great at the thing you love if you try hard enough, and it doesn’t matter one bit what you look like while doing it. But what did it say to Tazz?

That she’s a man.

Mike Tenay comments that based on the videos they didn’t know who Havok was, or whether she was a man or a woman. Tazz, watching this lady hoss take out two wrestlers bringing back the idea that Knockouts matches can be as good as/better than whatever the boys in the back can do, responds with “I’m still not sure!”

So yeah. F-ck you forever, Tazz. F-ck your outdated notions of what a female wrestler can be. F-ck the idea that women can’t be strong or powerful. F-ck your idea of gender roles in wrestling. F-ck your outdated notions of what wrestling can be in general. I don’t care who you used to be, because who you are now is a bumbling, stumbling, sexist degrading mess. Wrestling is (very) slowly but surely changing for women, and I am more than happy to fight tooth and nail to make sure people like you get left behind.

Best: Ethan Carter III, always and forever

I promise I didn’t write this week’s promo. Double pinky swear. When I watched it last night, I was overwhelmed with wrestlefeelings by the Knockouts match and one of my favourite people showing up on a show that is usually reserved for my least favourite people, so I was already in the best mood. All misty eyes and clapping hands and a little overwhelmed at the potential of what was happening in front of me. I had also tuned Tazz out the first time because I wanted to actually enjoy the match, and not be brought down by what Tazz could maybe do to ruin it for me. Based on my response to what he did say, I think that was a great call on my part. I wasn’t mad or frustrated or again reminded that no matter what I or they or any lady accomplishes in the world of wrestling there is always someone ready to tear it down because we happen to be female. I was the happiest girl in the world, and THEN I get EC3? No way. It’s too much. It’s just too good. I would have been happy with almost anything he said, to be honest. He could have cold broken up with Spud and told him he had always hated him and I would have been like NO MAN THAT’S COOL THAT’S FAIR I LOVE YOUR POCKET SQUARE BTW.

Thankfully, that’s not what he said at all, and once again came out to say all of the logical things that live in my brain whenever I watch TNA. He is also way, way better at saying them than I am. All of these feelings and reactions are what I watch wrestling for. I want to be entertained and happy and ready to jump out of my seat and shouting and cringing at grimy moves and loving characters because they pay attention to who they’re supposed to be and make an effort to be good at it and do things that make sense. They also presented me with things I want to talk about after they happen. How often do you think I bring up an Eric Young match as a thing to get exited about? When I see my buddy Warren who doesn’t watch Impact on a regular basis, do you think the first words out of my mouth are “OH MY GOD LET’S TALK ABOUT MR. ANDERSON”? No. I want to tell him about how great EC3 is. I want to YouTube his match against Norv and Dewey. I want to show him The Hunt for Willow with Rockstar Spud. I want to talk about his promos and his defense of his aunt and his hair and that velvet blazer and his yellow gear and I have done all of those things because that’s what putting on a great wrestling show makes you do.


I lied. I am totally not ready for this.

Best Dressed Couple 2014

Via Impact wrestling

Best Dressed Couple 2014

Best: Rockstar Spud

So did he skin the Young Bucks to make that suit, or…

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