And Now, The Best Of The WWE Totino’s BOLD ‘Show Us Your Superstar’ Contest

WWE Totino's Bold


If you want to get into the wrestling business, here’s the easiest way to do it: wait for the biggest sports-entertainment company in the world to do a promotion with a frozen pizza company.

Welcome to the WWE TOTINO’S BOLD ‘SHOW US YOUR SUPERSTAR’ contest, where in WWE and Totino’s ask the most Bucky Boyd-esque people in the world to create a wrestling character and perform it on YouTube.

WWE and Totino’s BOLD asked the WWE Universe: Think you have what it takes to be a WWE Superstar? Do you have the look, the walk and the talk? Fans from across the country answered the call and sent in a short video submission. But only one fan will win the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity – a chance to bring their Superstar idea to life! Check out some of the video submissions now, and don’t forget to come back in July and meet our winner, and see his EPIC journey from ordinary to legendary – we’ll watch him work and train at the WWE Performance Center, make his debut in front of a LIVE WWE audience, and then travel all the way to one of WWE’s biggest events of the year – SummerSlam, presented by Totino’s BOLD!

It’s July and the winner would’ve started training yesterday, so let’s dig through the archives and discover some of the best of the worst of the folks begging pizza to put them on TV.

Disclaimer: This is not about making fun of these people, it’s about making fun of the embarrassing thing they did in the name of pro wrestling and pizza rolls.

Subscribe to UPROXX

Poppa Wheelie

Poppa Wheelie didn’t really think this through. He came up with a great Hanna-Barbera character name and is sorta cosplaying Jeff Hardy, but there just isn’t enough in the tank (the MOTORCYCLE tank) for a three minute promo. It starts with “I may have what it takes to be in the WWE, but I also may have what it takes to be champion!” type stuff, then devolves into “I wear sunglasses” and “I’m in the gym 12 hours a day.” Party City isn’t a gym, bro. Real talk, if Poppa Wheelie is in the gym 12 hours a day, he’s the janitor.

PJ Gonzalez, The Amazoness Tigress


This is one of my personal favorites, because the promo is about how she’s unemployed and bad at everything. “I’m back unemployed!” She mentions that she used to wrestle (with experience in Puerto Rico and … Vermont?) and that she “still probably has a little bit of what she had.” I think that’s what WWE’s looking for most: people who are not as good as they used to be and don’t really care, but figured “what the hell, maybe I’ll try to be a successful television millionaire.”

Jace The Ace

A time-traveling rockstar otaku who is responsible for the pyramids and the industrial revolution. Also, a really underrated DeviantArt page. The worst part of this promo is that his mom doesn’t wander in to tell him dinner’s ready.

Wild Cornstalk

I honestly kinda love this one. The gimmick is that she’s a racist lady with braces who kinda remembers the Disney version of Pocahontas. That’s like a gimmick I’d make up and give somebody. The worst part of the promo is that Tatanka doesn’t wander in to tell her dinner’s ready.

That catchphrase, though. “My name is Wild Cornstalk. LIKE A CORNSTALK.”

Around The Web


Stand-Up Comedy Scared The Hell Out Of Me, So I Decided To Give It A Shot

W. Kamau Bell On Joking With The KKK For CNN And Quoting Malcolm X In His New Special

Chef Jonathan Bennett Shares His Fourteen ‘Can’t Miss’ Food Experiences In Cleveland, Ohio

Jen Kirkman Talking About Her New Book Will Make You Want To Write Your Own

Your Travel Guide To Every ‘Archer’ Location On The Planet

Drifters Take Note: This Couple Has Crucial Advice For Long-Term Travelers

By: 04.27.16

‘Rad’ Star Bill Allen Looks Back On Helltrack And That Iconic BMX Prom Scene, 30 Years Later

Key And Peele Talk About ‘Keanu,’ Why Cats Are Funny, And What They’ll Do If Fame Doesn’t Work Out

Meet Christine Sun Kim — The Sound Artist Who’s Changing The Way We Listen

Presented By
The All-New Prius

UPROXX 20: Jon Lajoie Wishes He Could Go Back In Time To Buy Netflix Stock, Just Like You

Professional Travelers Share Their Number One Dream Destination

Aisha Tyler On ‘Archer,’ Not Knowing What Boredom Is, And Directing Her First Feature Film