The Best and Worst of NXT Full Sail: Jinder Mahal, Future Champion?


Previously on the vintage Best and Worst of NXT Full Sail: The Gold Rush tournament began, with eight of NXT’s top stars — well, a couple of NXT’s top stars and some low-level main roster guys — vying to see who will become the first NXT Champion. Plus, Big E Langston debuted, the future Tyler Breeze got a surprise win, and Breeze’s future wife got her face drawn on in lipstick.

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Up first, here’s the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for August 8, 2012.

Best: Michael McGillicutty, Ace?

On the main roster, Curtis Axel née Michael McGillicutty has always been portrayed as a goof. When he joined the New Nexus, he and Husky Harris were essentially scabs to replace Darren Young and Michael Tarver, and eventually became aimless, Corre-adjacent henchmen for CM Punk. When he was repackaged as Curtis Axel and positioned for a run with the Intercontinental Championship and given Paul Heyman as a mouthpiece — Paul Heyman — he couldn’t get over, because he was still treated as a joke. Remember when he “defeated” Triple H via Triple H not feeling well and deciding to sit down at ringside? And then he beat him again, twice, via Montreal Screwjob? Even in victory over the most important guy on the show, Axel was, at best, an embarrassing plot point.

NXT Michael McGillicutty, however, was a great character. His colossal bed-shitting in NXT season 2 set it up. He was, in a way, a progression of the Eugene character. Eugene was supposed to be this mentally handicapped guy who was super secretly a wrestling savant, right? McGillicutty’s character is more subtle, but here you have this guy born with the innate abilities of Larry ‘The Axe’ Hennig and Mr. Perfect put in the brain of a doofy, average Minnesotan who loves ice fishing and fantasy football. He could be any friend you had in college. For real, dude got an Associates of Science degree in business computer systems and management. So when he’s in the ring, he’s kind of an idiot. But if he can focus, even for a second, he turns into Mr. Perfect. Because he’s got it.

His Gold Rush tournament round one match is against the once and future Dareworlf Justin Gabriel. Gabriel is, more or less, that character in reverse. He’s a guy who can consciously, physically perform any wrestling move he wants, but he doesn’t have that bone-in “it factor” that makes average dudes into legends. He’s a good wrestler. That’s about it.

Pairing them up, you get a very good 10-minute back-and-forth affair built around both guys trying to wrestle the “perfect match,” no pun intended, because they know if they make one big mistake, the other guy’s gonna capitalize on it and put them away. Of course, the guy who eventually started calling himself a Daredevil Werewolf is the one who make the mistake. He goes for a top rope quebrada late in the match but takes too long to set it up, giving McGoobersnatch the chance to roll out of the way. Gabriel hits hard, and Mike pulls the trigger and puts him away with a running neckbreaker.

I think my only complaints are:

1. Michael McGillicutty is still named “Michael McGillicutty” instead of Something Goddamn Hennig, and
2. He gets a nearfall off a small package into a Perfect Plex, which 1000% should’ve been his finish

Axe moves on to the semi-finals to face Seth Rollins, so we’ll have more on his surprising dopeness when we get to the next episode.

Worst: Why Does CJ Parker Have To Face The Debuting Everybody

Up next we have the debut of Kassius Ohno. This is his first run in the company, before he took a four year vacation and came back looking like an improperly squeezed tube of toothpaste. Before the match, WWE kinda sorta sinks his coolness by giving him one of those embarrassing CM Punk “shadowboxing” segments, where he’s just throwing big kicks and elbows to nothing and destroying the illusion that he knows how to throw them outside of a pro wrestling context.

The match itself is underwhelming. Like, one of the major problems I’ve always had with Ohno as a character is that he’s a KNOCKOUT ARTIST, and he loves knocking people out, and he’d prefer to hurt you and knock you out to pinning you. They hammer it in so hard. And then he knocks you out, and pins you. Which is like, the character setting obstacles for his own attempt at a gimmick. Plus, he’ll hit a big corny elbow that takes too long to set up and just kinda stand there, instead of following up. He’s supposed to be bloodthirsty, so why is he moseying around and giving CJ Parker a bunch of comeback offense? Compare that to a guy like Daniel Bryan, who would hit you with something (skillfully) and then follow up on it immediately like a rabid dog. He looked like a guy who was trying to win a wrestling match. Not hit a big slow strike and wander around the ring until it’s time to hit the next thing.

The good news is that this leg of Ohno’s run sees him fix a lot of these problems, and peaks with some brilliant stuff against William Regal. The bad news is that shortly after he’s released, he loses a match to Dig Dug.

Worst: WWE Doesn’t Know How Family Names Work

You know how annoying it is that Michael McGillicutty is the grandson of Larry Hennig and the son of Curt Hennig and the announce team always mentions it, but instead of being “Michael Hennig” (or, you know, Joe Hennig) he’s “Michael McGillicutty?” Or how annoying it is that Vickie Guerrero and Eddie Guerrero have a daughter who wrestles named Shaul Guerrero and also there is a legendary family of Guerreros and her name is “Raquel Diaz?” Because WWE got really into stupid names and branding in the 2010s and needed everyone to have a unique trademark?

Well, the next match is Paige and Tamina Snuka teaming up against Kaitlyn and Alicia Fox’s little sister, who looks exactly like Alicia Fox, dresses like Alicia Fox, does all of Alicia Fox’s taunts and performs all of Alicia Fox’s signature moves. Her name is Caylee Turner. I’m telling you, Charlotte Flair should be glad she came around a few years later or we’d be watching multiple-time Women’s Champion Cortlyn Breigh.

Here’s something that won’t come as a surprise to anyone who’s ever watched NXT before: it turns out Paige is the breakout star of the match. Kaitlyn can’t decide if she wants to be a heel or a face, and isn’t particularly good at either of them yet. Caylee is fine, but Actual Alicia Fox isn’t really a factor in tag matches like this, so of course her Jamie Lynn Spears isn’t going to be any better. Tamina is also in the match.

Worst Ever: Kaitlyn’s Entrance Theme

Take a moment to revisit the spectacular badness of Kaitlyn’s ‘Spin the Bottle,’ from those halcyon days when every female wrestler’s entrance theme asked, “you want to have sex with me, right? You definitely want to have sex with me.”

“So why don’t you spin the bottle?
Spin it right around, but aim it towards me now.
Yeah, why don’t you come and spin the bottle?
Push it one degree so it will point at me,
‘cause I just want to be your supermodel.”

Five years later and I’m still trying to figure out how moving a bottle one degree will make it point at someone else. How close are y’all sitting?

Best: What It’s Like To Be On The Internet This Week

I just wish Bo had responded, “no, but at least he’s better than Randy Orton.”

Best: Bo-llywood

Anyway, this episode’s main event is another first round match in the NXT Gold Rush Tournament, pitting a future NXT Champion against a … wait, this can’t be right. Future WWE Champion? Someone must’ve fucked with the Wikipedia.

Jinder Mahal’s tournament run exclusively pits him against young, quick, fired-up babyfaces who don’t really know how to wrestle yet but have so much enthusiasm about it. Here he faces the original version of Bo, where he’s basically a mash-up of Joseph Gribble and Boomhauer. Look at him and listen to him talk, you’ll see what I’m saying. The match is a big reminder that Bo probably could’ve been a great actual straight-up pro wrestler if the crowd hadn’t completely turned on him and turned him into the weird hodgepodge of things he is now.

It’s probably Jinder’s best match in the company to date, as well, which isn’t saying much, as most of his early main roster career was teaming up with or facing The Great Khali. And then his next feud was against Kane. And then his next feud was against Ryback. Maybe the problem has never been Jinder Mahal, just the fact that he’s never been put in the ring with someone entertaining. One day we’re gonna get that Jinder vs. Sami Zayn feud and suddenly he’s gonna be Kota Ibushi.

Jinder wins with a camel clutch, disappointing both Bo AND passive-aggressive Derrick Bateman. Who does Jinder face in the semi-finals? Let’s go ahead and jump into the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for August 15, 2012.

[Speaking In Foreign Language]

Remember when Alexa Bliss first debuted in NXT, and she had almost zero offense? She’d just flip around and do sunset flips sometimes? That’s Richie Steamboat. He’s Jinder’s next opponent — another young, quick, fired-up babyfaces who don’t really know how to wrestle yet but is very enthusiastic — and Jinder gives him the dreaded [speaking in foreign language] before the match. That’s WWE Network’s favorite shorthand. That, and typing “–” for ass.

Mahal vs. Steamboat isn’t as good as Mahal vs. Dallas, because Ricky Steamboat’s kid isn’t as good at wrestling as Irwin R. Schyster’s. That’s a weird thing to type, but I guess Rocky Johnson’s son is about a billion times better than Ric Flair’s, so most of that shit’s not hereditary. They try a fast paced, catch-as-catch-can Malenko/Guerrero thing, which results in a lot of really slow tandem roll-ups. I’m not sure if they’re both in over their heads or what, but it’s like watching two guys at your local indie do Richochet/Ospreay.

Jinder wins with the camel clutch after about four minutes. Ugh, so tired of seeing Super Jinder win matches, am I right folks


[speaking in foreign language] Fest continues with this Leo Kruger promo, in which Kruger has apparently discovered a Greyhound bus full of drugs and done them all. He removes a tooth in the middle of it to give Briley Pierce the heebie-jeebies, then says he has something “brewing inside of him.”

In retrospect, I love that Leo Kruger’s NXT story is Kraven’s Last Hunt, but instead of catching Spider-Man he kills, buries and becomes Aldous Snow.

The final installment in this week’s [speaking in foreign language] trilogy is this backstage interview with Hunico and Camacho, in which Matt Striker discovers between condescending eyerolls that they lost the match to Mike Dalton and Jason Jordan because Hunico had a “107 degree temperature” and Camacho was distraught after “losing his burro.” Yes, before NXT was the place where international stars could be treated as true equals and three-dimensional human beings, they had a Tongan guy from Florida be a Mexican guy who lost because he was sad about a donkey.

Best: Fore-Bo-ding

Briley Pierce catches up with Bo Dallas, who is sad about not becoming the first NXT Champion. Bo promises that the next time he gets a shot, he won’t miss. And you know what? He was telling the truth.

Best: THE OCULUS ARRIVES

Longtime readers of the Best and Worst of NXT know that the most important backstage prop in the promotion’s history is the mirror in the Divas locker room. If you have a conversation while looking into it, it turns you heel. It happened when Summer Rae turned Sasha Banks, it’s where Summer realized she was going to have to turn on Charlotte and Sasha, and it made Becky Lynch side with Sasha and beat up Bayley. WWE Studios ended up making a movie about a haunted mirror that turns people evil called Oculus, and the mirror showed up on Raw and began Adam Rose’s descent into heel madness.

The best part? In the movie Oculus, there’s an easter egg about how the first documentation of the mirror was that it “belonged to the Levesque family.” Who runs NXT? Triple H. So when Triple H was setting up Full Sail, he put an old mirror he found in his attic in the locker room, and it caused chaos for years. Mind-blowing.

This week is the mirror’s first appearance, as Raquel Diaz laughs into it about how everyone is ugly. Theory: Shaul Guerrero showed up to be a scrappy babyface legacy Diva on week 1 at Full Sail, but when she sat down to do her makeup, she turned heel, went crazy, lost her identity and became obsessed with what she saw in the mirror. Not to make light of it, but Guerrero ended up leaving the company for real due to complications from an eating disorder, so it makes sense that the evil inside of her would be this unhealthy obsession with society’s perverted idea of beauty, right?

I love you, NXT Mirror. Never stop accidentally making sense.

Worst: Turn It Down

Circa the 1000th episode of Raw, Heath Slater was really into challenging and getting beaten up by WWE legends. He got beaten up by Sycho Sid, Vader, Lita, and more. This was before they realized “can’t keep it in his pants despite already being too poor to support his family” and “has a friend in politics who loves crackers and won’t stop running into people” were better marketing strategies.

Slater shows up on NXT this week to continue that joke, and says that since there’s nobody in the back more entertaining than him, he’s going to stay in the ring for the remainder of the show and “entertain” us. I guess by doing air guitar and taking lariat bumps on his neck? Anyway, his challenge is immediately answered by, well,

Slater loses due to Scotty 2 Hotty having the two of the most powerful moves in wrestling history:

  • a double-handed bulldog that makes you hit the mat so hard it completely flips you over onto your back and knocks you out for like five minutes
  • a chop, which hurts more because he hops around in a circle and breakdances at you before doing it

Honestly, the only move I can think of more powerful than Scotty’s bulldog is The Rock’s spinebuster. Call the People’s Elbow “the most electrifying move in sports entertainment” all you want, but it’s an elbow drop. The spinebuster before it is the thing knocking a guy out for so long that the Rock can pose, remove and throw an elbow pad, pose again, bounce off the ropes twice, pose again, drop the elbow and still keep a guy down for three. Rock could’ve gotten a 50 count on dudes if he’d gone for the pin after the spinebuster.

Worst: One Of The Lamest DQs Ever

Sometimes a referee will try to get a wrestler to stop stomping his opponent in the corner (or in the middle of the ring) and the wrestler will refuse, so the referee will call a DQ. We like to call that the worst finish in wrestling, because it’s basically saying you lose because you wrestled too much. You beat up the guy too well. Somehow this Usos vs. Ascension match features an even worse variation of that. You know how the Ascension keeps talking about how they’re going to “rise?” Here they are getting DQ’d for making the Usos fall.

Yes, the Ascension get disqualified for pushing an Uso off the top rope. During a tag team match. That’s the kind of finish you book where you want the Usos to win but you want to keep the Ascension “strong,” so you have the match end for no reason. Boo times a million.

Best: Jinder Mahal Demands Another Scrappy Babyface With Enthusiasm

(Don’t worry, guy, you’re gonna get it.)

The main event for the August 15 episode is the final semi-finals match of the Gold Rush Tournament between Seth Rollins and Michael McGillicutty, and honestly? It’s the best match of the entire tournament. It might be as good as a WWE-style match in 2012 crammed into six minutes can be.

Check out some of the highlights, set to Rise Against, because Seth Rollins. Keep an eye out for McGillicutty’s snap backdrop, which is so good, and Rollins breaking out the Definitely Never Going To Almost Kill Sting turnbuckle powerbomb and just LAUNCHING McGillicutty into the middle buckle.

Really good stuff. After the match, Jinder Mahal shows up and tries to throw hands until Rollins mounts a comeback and drives him off. The Gold Rush main event to crown the first ever NXT Champion happens in two weeks. I’m telling you, guys like Jinder and McGillicutty would’ve tremendously benefited from actually staying in NXT and adjusting to the new style as it became a brand, instead of going back up to the main roster to fill holes.

Although now I’m wondering how we can get Seth Rollins to take the Universal Championship from Brock Lesnar, and do a champion vs. champion Gold Rush Tournament rematch on NXT TakeOver: Brooklyn III. Don’t @ me.

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