The Best And Worst Of WWE NXT 5/18/16: Murphy’s Law

Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE NXT: On a night of jobber squashes we said goodbye to the White Lion, the Varsity Villain, the Flea Market Triple H, Alex Riley. The WWE Universe will never be the same without him. If you’ve felt a little heavier and out of sorts this week, don’t worry … the world feels your pain, and understand. Vaya con dios, Guy Who Is Reminded Of Jackie Joyner-Kersee Whenever He Sees A Black Lady Wrestle.

If you missed this episode, you can watch it here. If you’d like to read our older columns, click over here. With Spandex is on Twitter, so follow it, and like us on Facebook. You can also follow me on Twitter.

Shares, likes, comments and other social-media things are appreciated.

And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for May 18, 2016.

Best: Austin Aries Uses A Stipulation Wisely

On last week’s episode, Blake and Murphy interrupted a conversation between William Regal and porn parody Elijah Wood and ended up in the NXT equivalent of an impromptu tag: one that’s announced in advance, so the wrestling promoters can promote it. Because NXT’s supposed to be a wrestling promotion, and not a loosely confederated group of aimlessly confrontational jerks like Raw. Regal says it’ll be BAMF vs. Austin Aries and a partner of his choosing.

Now like most of you — and the NXT crowd, if you listen to them — I was hoping it’d be Bobby Roode. NXT’s on a real “do what TNA did, but make people like it” kick lately, so I thought maybe we’d intro Bob Roo via the Dirty Heels. Aries is the kind of guy who’d make a bigger splash in a niche division, I think, unless they’re gonna keep the belt on Joe forever and re-do the Aries/Joe ROH title change. Anyway, Aries and his proper potassium levels earn big points from me for actually considering the “partner of your choosing” stipulation and picking the best available partner: Shinsuke Motherf*cking Nakamura.

It’s probably overkill when you’re wrestling Blake and Murphy, but it’s the right call. Nak predictably steamrolls them, and I think my favorite part of the entire match is when Aries tries to tag in at the end in the middle of Nakamura’s finisher animation and straight-up gets ignored. I could see them slow-burning that and giving Aries this uptight animosity about being overshadowed by the guy who has overshadowed him in NXT since day one, or, you know, dude could be happy that he picked a fantasy tag partner who could beat these goobers by himself.

Best: BAMF Explodes

The big plot development after the match is Alexa Bliss making lemon face and deciding to finally distance herself from Blake and/or Murphy. The blocking is really interesting. She leaves them at ringside, so Blake sorta disapprovingly stares at Murphy and follows her out. Backstage, they get into an argument that explains the separation — Bliss is tired of being embarrassed, and wants to focus on her own career instead of carrying them on her back — and at the end of it, Murphy follows her out. I don’t know if the split is totally splat or if she’s gonna drag them around on chains like Michonne or what.

Best: Asuka Is A Damn Star

One of the best parts of the entire episode is this music video to hype Asuka, set to MAYHEM by HALESTORM. I’m either telling you the song name or casting a spell in Dungeons & Dragons, I dunno.

But yeah, music videos hyping wrestlers is a lost art, and WWE’s production team’s so great they should be doing 3-5 a week. Don’t even show us all of them, just make them. Set Wesley Blake’s arc to NIGHTFALL by BRUISEFACE or whatever and make him look like the coolest and deadliest dude in the company.

It doesn’t take much to make Asuka look amazing, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be doing it.

Best: Finn Vs. Joe In A Cage

Let’s hope that keeps out the Usos and the Bullet Club!

Worst: No Say, Jose

I reserve the right to go back and retroactively love this, but No Way Jose’s backstage promo made me laugh in the most uncomfortable way ever. It felt like a clown jumping out of my closet trying to kill me. I don’t know how to explain it.

He says that he smiles a lot because he has fun and has a great smile, and also because the smile makes people underestimate him. That’s good. I don’t know though, between his facial expressions, sudden dancing and Cathy Kelley’s unconvincing chuckles, it felt more like a conversation piece than a promo. Also, if you combine No Way Jose with Peyton Royce, you get the Shining Stars.

Best/Worst: Carmella vs. Peyton Royce

Speaking of Peyton Royce, she and her 45 minute flower smelling intro get a match against Carmella.

There’s a lot of good here. They establish again that Carmella has stayed in NXT instead of going up to the main roster with Enzo and Cass (even though Cass could seriously use her support right now) because she wants to be NXT Women’s Champion. There’s a lot of good “I want to be Women’s Champion” stuff happening right now, from this to Alexa’s tag team meltdown to Bayley’s promo on Nia Jax. The match works in the way that a lot of Carmella’s recent in-ring stuff does, in that it’s getting easier to buy her as a threat, even if she’s mostly choking out people who’d get wrecked by Blue Pants. It’s a good progression.

As for the actual match (and as much as I dig the Venus Flytrap), it wasn’t great. The strikes are especially bad, both from Carmella and Peyton, whose running kick I guess got edited well enough to disguise why the crowd sorta murmur-boos her for it. That jog-in-place Bronco Buster from Carmella is kind of the pits. Not their best work but not inexcusably bad. The bottom rungs of the women’s division are getting better, we’ve just got to let them get there.

Best: The Cruiserweight (Tag) Classic

If you can’t make out what’s happening in that picture, it’s John Gargano and Tom Champion (not his name) pulling the old F.I.S.T. “run at a guy from every direction and strike him” attack. They do one in the corner to set up one in the middle of the ring, and as tag team finishes go, it’s pretty solid. It’s especially good for a cruiserweight tag team built from notable indies guys, and says pretty much everything you need to say about the scene without putting them in tassels and having them throw too many superkicks.

Ciampa and Gargano get to whomp NXT jobber stalwart Danny Burch and my personal favorite, ROB RYZIN. That guy cracks me up every time I see him. First of all, his name is ROB RYZIN, which is the most 1999 thing ever. He sounds like a heist sequel. He kinda looks like the guy inside the Zack Ryder mech, and he’s got SPIDERS on his pants for some reason. If his name was SPIDER RYZIN he’d be my favorite wrestler. We’d make so many waterspout jokes.

I like this as a soft preview for the Cruiserweight Classic, especially if they go the obvious route and have Gargano and Ciampa end up going one-on-one deep in the tourney. That’ll give it some emotional resonance for NXT proper, and help tie in what they’re going for there with what’s going on here.

Best: F*ck Yeah Nia Jax

This is the Nia Jax I’ve been waiting for, and man, I hope it continues.

Back in the long long ago, Bayley was able to defeat Nia Jax with a choke. Jax is way bigger and stronger than her, but Bayley has heart and experience. Also, Nia is so green as goosesh*t sometimes that she doesn’t look like she’s trying to hurt her opponents when she hits them. The pain almost seems incidental, like she’s SO much bigger and SO much stronger that a gentle petting will incapacitate your Carmellas and Billie Kays and whoever. My big complaint with her is that she’s too damn gentle, gets running starts just to stop, and doesn’t jump on her leg drop. She’s very visibly holding back.

The rematch with Bayley is great because it’s an evolution for Jax. Bayley comes into the match thinking she shouldn’t be scared of this lady, because she knows she’s kinda timid on the inside and doesn’t have the guts to let loose and kill a lady. What she doesn’t know is that Jax has gotten her sh*t together something fierce lately, isn’t backing down from Asuka spin kicks, and is formally ready to hit Bayley as hard as she can.

I also like that they have Bayley suffer a knee injury during the match, but don’t overblow it. She’s hurt, but not stretcher hurt. Bayley’s been hurt before, and she can fight through it. They just also have Nia Jax realize what’s going on, TARGET the knee like a smart wrestler, and have her finish Bayley with leg drops to the leg (YESSS) and the back of the head. The running attack in the corner to set that up is the best thing Nia Jax has done in WWE. It’s SO EASY to make Nia Jax the world’s jam, you know? She’s special. She’s different. She stands out. If we can give her that Samoa Joe vibe and justify some of those “Nia’s gonna kill you” moments, it’ll be invaluable. Also, if you’re gonna ask us to take her seriously against Asuka, she’s gonna have to hit harder than Peyton Royce.

Great stuff here. It’s not a match of the year, but it’s one of those building block matches that sets UP a match of the year.