David Arquette Wants To Be A Drunken Manager On Lucha Underground

04.21.16 2 years ago 17 Comments

Lucha Underground is kind of defined by being the show where things get out of hand quickly. In the beginning, it was just the soul of Wrestling Society X trapped inside the body of AAA lucha libre, but it quickly became the place where an ancient Aztec Violence God is sealed inside the promoter’s baby brother. I like to think that this is part of the reason we’ve come to like it so much…. There’s always room for it to get crazier. And if you want to get truly crazy, maybe consider throwing WCW’s most infamous champion into the mix.

That’s right, David Arquette is not only aware of the crown jewel of the El Rey Network, he also wants in. At the Dallas International Film Festival, Arquette was promoting his new movie Orion when his sordid wrestling past came up. Thanks to the folks at Boomstick Comics, we have the video evidence of how Arquette would fold himself into the LU canon. Jump to about 4:05 if you want to get right to it.

“I tried to pitch myself for El Rey, the new one, the lucha stuff… I want to be a masked manager. They’d call him ‘El Borracho.’ And I’d just be drunk all the time, and I’d have amazing wrestlers that I’m in charge of… When they’d get in trouble, I’d go up and break the bottle on people’s heads.”

We had a guy performing fatalities on last night’s episode, and now David Arquette wants to come in and be Bo’ Rai Cho. Lucha Underground is the Mortal Kombat tournament we all deserve. In the end, it’s certainly not the worst idea I’ve heard, but Arquette kind of spoils any chance of this actually happening by giving away the end of the angle later in the video. Nothing wrong with a little celebrity fantasy booking, though. Just don’t go breaking any bottles over Cage’s head, because I think we’ve already established that he’s immune.

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