‘Dead Wrestler Beach’ Is The Feel-Bad Hit Of The Year, And A Strangely Perfect Tribute

Pro Wrestling Editor
11.09.15 8 Comments

When you click play on ADHD‘s ‘Dead Wrestler Beach,’ you’re expecting it to stay casual with mentions of Macho Man Randy Savage, The Ultimate Warrior and maybe Rowdy Roddy Piper. Once they get to the line, “I got a sick haircut from Luna Vachon/I felt kinda awkward around Chris Benoit,” you know you’re in for a treat. Art Barr! Test identified by his shoot name! EDDIE GILBERT!

This is just a pile of wrestling jokes done right, from Camp Cornette all hanging out with each other in the tropical afterlife to Rick Rude being polite. If you can get through the rest of your day without randomly going DEAD DEAD DEAD WRESTLER BEACH, you’re a better man than me.

What I also like about it is how weirdly optimistic and pleasant it is. Wouldn’t it be nice if all the wrestlers who’ve died were just hanging out somewhere on a beach, surfing and wrestling and being weird? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Heaven was just a dude handing you a Frisbee and pointing at the Junkyard Dog? It’s a happier ending than we usually get. I just hope Dusty’s really somewhere playing beach volleyball with Andre the Giant.

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