So far, we’ve shared with you a golden treasury of cheesy late-80s/early-90s WWF promo photos and a two-part retrospective of WCW’s worst possible 8x10s.
No look at pro graps in the 1990s would be complete without Extreme Championship Wrestling, the hyper-violent, cursing-on-VHS, #3 promotion in wrestling’s last boom period. ECW had a lot that positives that still hold up — under-the-radar international stars given a chance to shine, a constantly-replenishing roster that gave WWE and WCW most of its top young stars, Beulah McGillicutty’s trashy glory — but some of it, mostly Blue Meanie’s jean shorts, deserves to be lost in time.
Please enjoy these EXTREME GLAMOURSHOTS~. They’re even better if you realize that almost everyone in the gallery is somewhere on a show 15 years later, milking whatever they had going for them here.
I don’t think I ever knew that in ECW, Head was called “The Head” instead of just “Head.” This is now my second favorite ECW MTV reference, right behind their pay-per-view event ECW: DEAD AT 21.
I preferred his original name, “Guy You Knew In Middle School Who Smoked: The Wrestler.”
I like to think this wasn’t taken after a match, he just showed up to the arena covered in blood. “Oh, we’re taking photos? *strikes wrestler pose*”
It’s important to remember that ECW, as good as it was, was like 15% dick and balls jokes. Also, everyone looked like either a dick or some balls.
Chris Candido: Several Surgeries Needed
Roadkill is such a wonderful wrestler to discover. If you don’t remember ECW or don’t like wrestling, please be aware that once there was a big fat Amish guy who hated chickens and had “plucker” in his nickname because it sounded like “f**ker.”
Oh, and his tag team partner once proposed to a girl by putting a condom on her finger.
This is easily the best photo in the gallery. If I find out you all don’t like Tracy Smothers, somebody’s gonna die.
Good old Francine. A woman whose name perfectly matches her face.
Come on, you guys trademarked “Extreme Official?” and now you’re gonna go and ruin it by adding more question marks?
Also, I love the ECW referee shirts. They’re always changing. They’re like Star Trek uniforms.
I’ll let you try to figure out how this guy went from “shrugging referee” to JUDGE.
All the information you need to know about Jerry Lynn:
1. He looks like Nickelback
2. In 2013 he is still a better wrestler than anybody in this gallery was in 1998
All the information you need to know about Justin Credible:
1. He looks like a penis
2. In 2013 he is exactly the same terrible wrestler he was in 1998
Oh, and a third thing:
3. once had an Uncle Kracker entrance theme
This 8×10 should’ve come with a companion photo of Bloodsport’s Ray Jackson walking in and making “ouch” faces because he’s thinking about what would happen to his balls if he tried this.
WE KNOW WHO THAT IS, TAZZ
Sandman has his face tattooed on the inside of his arm and wears a shirt featuring him doing the same pose he does in photos. This promo might be in 4-D, I don’t think my eyes are evolved enough to see it properly.
These days, Shane Douglas makes a living by trying to “sneak into” Raw crowds and get them to start “E-C-Dub” chants, never aware that the 8-year old in the John Cena shirt and his Mom have no idea who Shane Douglas is. Just buy a ticket and go as yourself, man. I’m a huge wrestling nerd, and if Shane Douglas passed me on the street I either wouldn’t notice him, or would say “lol, was that Shane Douglas” to my friends and continue on with my life.
Photo included as a courtesy to Best And Worst Of TNA Impact Wrestling columnist Danielle Matheson, aka the world’s biggest/most adorable Spike Dudley fan.
I was hoping she’d signed this, “KNOW WHERE I CAN GET ANY DRUGS, LOVE TAMMY.”
This becomes great if you pretend they’re punching Francine in the boobs.