Morning Links: How Did They Get Burned

Links

6 Sickeningly Exploitative 911 Specials – To their credit, it’s got to be pretty hard to make a non-exploitative 911 special. The only alternative to talking about death and tragedy and property damage is the “America bounced back!” thing, which is 1) not true 2) exploitative in a completely different direction. [Warming Glow]

The Best and Worst of WWE Super Smackdown Live 8/30 – Linking myself here to show solidarity toward UPROXX sites that cover wrestling. And because that Miracleman reference ended up reading pretty well. [With Leather]

Why Vince McMahon Needs to Buy Impact Wrestling for His Own Survival – When he says “major companies” I guess he doesn’t include Japan or anything pre-1985, but it’s a point worth making, and any company that employs Jeff Hardy should be bought out and outsourced. [Smoking Section]

New X-Men Featurette Examines Jennifer Lawrence’s Naked Boob Painting – I like when Jennifer Lawrence gets movies instead of other people. She’s got to be the least attainable attainable girl ever. [Film Drunk]

Funny, Sexy, and Awesome Cosplay of the Week – Decent looking girls who cosplay are the most hilarious big fish in a small pond ever, and never as good as a Pikachu dog. [Gamma Squad]

Meme Watch: Successful Black Man Is Borderline Offensive, But Hilarious – I really would’ve done a terrible job if I’d stayed an UPROXX beat guy. Every time I get to a meme I’d just sit and stare at it until it got old. People who do these are working on a different plane. [UPROXX]

Ghostbusters 3 Sounds Kinda Terrible – Does it feature an old man in a painting who wants to be reborn as a baby in a city with Willy Wonka bubblegum sewers? No? Then yeah, it sounds kinda terrible. [Gamma Squad]

The 10 Biggest Flops of Summer – I’ve come to the realization that I have no idea what constitutes a flop. If a movie cost 100 million and makes 120, isn’t that still a 20 million dollar profit? You could make my crummy independent effort like 40 times with that money. [Film Drunk]

Freida Pinto Isn’t Bankable in India – And speaking of unattainable girls, Freida Pinto (and her name, meaning “fried beans”) was a case of “oh man, whatever happened to her” while Slumdog was still in theaters. Calling her a “bankable A-list Hollywood star” is pushing it. Woody Allen thinking you’re hot doesn’t make you A-list. [FARK]

6 Sexiest Moments in Recent Advertising History – Number one better be Flo from Progressive or I swear to God [The Smoking Jacket]

12 Scary (and Not-So-Scary) Outer Space Thrillers – Event Horizon for the win. It’s hilarious that I’m such a film snob, and the two movies I’ve seen in the theater most are Event Horizon and f**king Blade. I was pretty bored during that time period. [Moviefone]

In Celebration of Helen Mirren: 20 Other Older Babes Who’ve Still Got It – “Babes” always makes me feel weird (especially when you say it as “behbs”), but we need more foxy older actresses than Helen Mirren. Monica Bellucci is going to be there in a few years, but we need to speed up the Hollywood aging process. Megan Fox is going to look like an absolute monster when she’s 60. [Pajiba]

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