Morning Links: Skip the Video

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It’s just some fat girl walking in a swimsuit. I talk about basketball in a moment.

Sports

Dwight Howard Strongly Considering Playing Overseas – I wish I was famous enough to have this be a headline about me. “Brandon Stroud Thinking About Swimming In Mediterranean, Probably Won’t”. That would be so awesome. [Smoking Section]

Kenny Florian and JZ Cavalcante Want to Kick Each Others Stupid Nuts – I write a lot about pro wrestling so I can’t make a lot of gay jokes about something obviously not gay (nor should I make gay jokes about gay things, but work with me here). However, it would be nice if MMA guys were at least aware of how super gay they are when they say they want each others’ nuts. [Cage Potato]

The World Cup Truffle Shuffle Kid is My New Hero – Sometimes a sports story is so important it gets covered on the movie section of our network. This fat kid lifting up his shirt at the World Cup is one of those moments. [Film Drunk]

Al Michaels is a Man For All Seasons, So Long As There Are Four – I miss those days of childhood innocence where all the sports announcers seemed like cool guys who loved sports. I thought Craig Kilborn was so funny. Sigh. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

With Leather

The Best and Worst of WWE Money in the Bank 2011 – Before you read today’s Best and Worst of Raw, go back and read the more-or-less “Best and Best” recap of one of the best pay-per-views ever. If you don’t watch wrestling, this is a great place to start. That girl on the left is in it, and boy, is she just as awesome as she looks. [With Leather]

Kate Upton is a Chubbish Ball of Attainable Fat Lady – Okay, sorry for that hoggish monster in the intro video. We won’t be covering her again. Go here to see the last time we did, and suffer through 50 pictures of her before reading comments from cool guys with hot, skinny girlfriends who just don’t think she’s “all that”. [With Leather]

2011 Women’s World Cup in Pictures – And then, enjoy girls who are extremely fit! And one awesome kid who is not. [With Leather]

Punte Interviews Matt Cassel – My dumb wrestling recaps get a bunch of traffic that should go to stuff like this, where Josh talks to actual sports celebrities about things that matter. Like, uh, their abdominal muscles. Well, read it anyway. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Owling is the New Planking – The best thing about these dumb photo memes is that the people who do them have the attention span of a rake, so they stop doing them about two weeks in. I’m sure in two weeks owling will be out of style and Gilbert Arenas will be doing handstands and tweeting about how awesome they are. Do it, it’s called HANDING! [UPROXX]

At Long Last, The New Rebecca Black Single Has Arrived – And it’s about how famous she is! What’s with all these songs about people telling singers they’re never going to make it? Who does that? I’ve never gone to a concert and walked up to the musicians and said “man, you guys are just never going to sell a lot of albums”. [Uproxx]

TV’s 20 Most Punchable Faces – I’m still sad that any number of Parks and Recreation secondary characters I suggested didn’t make the list. Come on, Marcia Langman! She’s like Marcia Gay Harden in “Office” form! [Warming Glow]

Doritos Says Women Prefer Gaming to Sex – Why are we asking Doritos things? They’ve been trying to tell us “Cool Ranch” is a legitimate flavor for something to have for over 20 years. [Gamma Squad]

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