WWE Diva Nikki Bella is the latest to contribute to the U.S. government’s ‘The Real Cost’ anti-smoking campaign. You know, they’ve got those commercials where Andrew WK’s sh*tty looking unemployed cousin bullies kids into missing out on time with their friends and doing their homework so they can go smoke in the rain or whatever?
While it’s no Undertaker telling you that you will LITERALLY DIE FOR REAL if you use drugs, and realistically it’s not very interesting at all, I’m weirdly into it. Like I want her to just keep listing all of the reasons she has not to smoke. Give me a full Total Divas episode of her brainstorming with Brie about all the reasons she has to avoid smoking while Daniel Bryan laughs and explains the concept of destiny and why it can’t be controlled. I mean, I’m pretty sure it would lead to like 20 minutes of Brie whining about how you can’t smoke if you’re pregnant and then crying because she can’t make tiny babies happen with her body because she’s so committed to wrestling or whatever, but you know what? I’ll brave it.
Actually, can we make this just a whole Total Divas effort? Give me Natalya talking about the harmful effects secondhand smoke has on household pets while an uncomfortable Tyson Kidd grimaces beside her. Eva Marie saying she doesn’t want her line of hair extensions to smell like cigarettes. Her husband Jonathan getting confused and then frustrated that he can’t say the word ‘dope’ because that’s another campaign altogether, and then eating an entire spiral ham with his bare hands. Smokers are jokers, but ham is glam!
Come on, WWE, let’s do this.