There have been few performers in pro wrestling history as consistently bulletproof on the microphone as former ECW mastermind and current beast advocate Paul Heyman. The late, great Bobby “The Brain” Heenan might have been the best all-around performer of all time, and Ric Flair is on pretty much everyone’s minds right now, but Heyman has always been right there with them in a league of his own as a talker.
Heyman’s role, as it has been for the past few years, is to be the mouthpiece for Brock Lesnar, a part-time attraction for WWE and the current Universal Champion. The formula is simple, and nearly always entertaining: during Lesnar’s rare appearances on weekly WWE television, he will look amused and bounce in place as Heyman extolls his many virtues. If it ain’t broke …
But on Monday night’s episode of Raw, someone tried to throw a monkey wrench into the foolproof machine of the Paul Heyman-Brock Lesnar hype promo. A fan inexplicably chose this mid-Raw lengthy promo to propose to their significant other, who apparently must have accepted. The crowd began looking to the side of the ring opposite the entrance ramp and broke into an extended chant of “SHE SAID YES!” The ovation was sufficient enough to stop Heyman in his tracks.
And then he responded. And it was a lesson to all that you never poke a bear with a stick, and you never, EVER interrupt or try to hijack a Paul Heyman promo. Not for any reason.
We must address a few things. First of all, no, it wasn’t necessarily Heyman’s best retort or comeback or fan diss ever. Secondly, god bless Paul Heyman for never pulling focus from what he’s trying to accomplish. Not only when he’s trying to shame someone for proposing, he still manages to make it all about Brock Lesnar and Lesnar’s match at Survivor Series. Thirdly, Heyman SO BADLY wanted to do a bunch of cusses, but understood he was on live television.
But let us all back in the glory of Paul Heyman, now and forever.
