Hello, and welcome to weekly Impact Wrestling coverage on With Spandex. And also welcome to me, LaToya Ferguson, your recapper and friend.
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Previously: Slammiversary 15 was a legitimately good pay-per-view from top to bottom. It would be crazy for Impact to squander that momentum!
EH: Impact Squanders That Momentum
This week’s Impact begins with LAX in the cut, talking about their secret new member (only Konnan knows the person’s identity) and how they’ll have “the best hand in the house tonight” because of it. He also makes that “blue pill”/”hard” comment again, because sometimes you can’t be “serious like a late period.” Sometimes. Then we go through a video recap of how awesome Slammiversary was, and it seems the hypeness will never end. Then, even the first 30 seconds of Impact commentary are peaceful and respectable, and even if it means the Slammiversary match was a magical fix, that’s okay, because at least it’s over.
But it’s not over. And nothing matters. Don’t let Alberto El Patron’s show opening celebration fool you: Nothing matters and Slammiversary barely changed anything, Impact problem-wise. At least not now, anyway. And as Josh Mathews talks about the changes that will happen for Impact, he starts by saying they’ll be about six weeks. Or maybe it’s about seven weeks. Or possibly even eight weeks. Maybe it’s just me — and I’m not being self-centered, I just like a reason to mention the one season WB series — but doesn’t Impact kind of always feels like it’s changing? If everything about the show is changes and promises of changes, then what exactly is the show in the first place? I’m not trying to get existential about a wrestling show, but when you think about how long Impact has cheated death and gone on to exist in one form or another, it’s difficult not to think about all the promises of changes. Once the GFW merger fully comes through, then what? What will be the next promise of change then?