The Best And Worst Of WWE NXT 7/24/14: Mexican With The Americans

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Please click through for the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for July 24, 2014.


Best: The Ascension Gets Cocky

This week’s opening match was Another Goddamn Ascension Squash™. It was what it was.

I’m a big fan of where (I assume) the Ascension are going. Up until last week, Konnor and Victor were just scary guys who wandered out to metal and did basic wrestling moves like shoulderblocks and stomps as angrily as possible. Show up, kill some jobbers, leave. Then last week, seemingly out of nowhere, Konnor was doing shoulder-shimmies during backstage promos and saying goofy shit like “AY YO VIC, PREACH.”

Fast forward to this week and the Ascension aren’t just squashing jobbers, they’re acting like a-holes about it. Victor lets a guy wristlock him for like half a minute before he does anything about it because he wants to make Dikembe Mutombo shame faces. Konnor does the same thing. A guy chops him, and instead of mauling him he just stands there looking at him so he’ll feel scared. They spend way too much time trying to “trap” people on the outside. The story has long been that NXT doesn’t have any tag teams strong enough to hang with these guys, but they’re starting to get complacent … if Konnor and Victor are so confident that a win is guaranteed that they’ve started dancing mid-match, now’s the time to pounce on them. Take them out while they’re buying their own hype.

That’s a great, subtle story. I hope it’s one NXT is telling on purpose, and that Konnor didn’t just arbitrarily decide that he’s Mr. Charisma.

Best: Mojo Rawley Getting Critical’d With The First Strike Of The Match

This is right behind Rusev/Rawley on my list of NXT matches of the year.

If you missed it, Tyler Breeze Beauty Shat Mojo like five seconds into the match and pinned him. It was PERFECT. Breeze figured out the code for how to beat Mojo: do something that confuses him. He’ll make that Mr. Yuk face he makes to express non-hype emotions, and you’ll have several seconds to line up and hit him once in the face as hard as you can.

Here’s video of the match in its entirety:

The best part about beating Mojo is that you don’t have to feel badly about it. He “stays hype,” right? So in theory he should be just excited to lose as he is to win. You’re doing him a favor by KO’ing him in five seconds.

Worst: Charlotte vs. The Raw Version Of Summer Rae

I was really looking forward to this, but man … it wasn’t very good.

The problem is that the women’s division on NXT and Raw are two very different things. On Raw, the only storyline for women is “I’m jealous.” Jealous of a boyfriend I want, jealous that you USED to be with my boyfriend, jealous that you’re the champion, jealous that you’re pretty, jealous that you’re on Total Divas, etc. Because of this, the two basic Raw match types are “catfight” and “go through the motions with the moves we know to get to the post-match story stuff.” On NXT, WWE trainers have at least created the illusion that intent and athleticism in the women’s division matter, and that you’re rewarded for working hard and being a good wrestler. That was the story for Paige when she beat Emma in the Women’s Championship tournament finals, and again when Charlotte took on Natalya and had to kinda “prove herself” as being good enough to represent NXT’s women. Both things have their merit. One’s for people who like women being a constructive part of the wrestling show, the other’s for people who want to look at butts but can’t socially multitask.

When I’m watching Raw I want the women’s matches to be NXT, but I don’t expect it. When I’m watching NXT, I want the women’s matches to be NXT and I do. Charlotte vs. Summer Rae, despite some amazing character work from Summer, was a Raw Divas match. That’s the best compliment I can find to give it. It was hair pulling, tons of snap mares and rest holds galore. Not even interesting ones, just legs wrapped around the waist. The NXT crowd that generally wants to clap and happily chant at whatever you’re doing gave up on it midway through, started chanting “boring” and started up a wave. I’m not a huge fan of those things, but yeah, it was super boring.

This should’ve been all character and story with a quick, snappy match. If Summer and Charlotte have such a severe grudge, why are they brawling like Foxy Boxers? I know both women have told her to f*ck off, but where’s Sasha? Shouldn’t she be out here doing something? Can we work in that head on a stick? SO MUCH OF THIS NEEDS CLOSURE. WHY IS BAYLEY STILL NOT FEUDING WITH CHARLOTTE?

Worst: This Episode Needs Some Wacky Backstage Stuff

Speaking of that, the most disappointing aspect of this week’s show is that it’s so obviously a “filler” week. Nothing’s happening, the matches are all short or have screwy finishes, and we don’t have anything going on backstage to get happy about. No Devin Taylor having her mind blown, no Bayley hugging The Great Khali, no Tyler Breeze promo. It’s so very, very easy to get me to love an NXT thing. All you have to do is pause and spend some time with it. When the show’s nothing but throwaway matches I don’t get time with ANYTHING, and I’m left with that same “welp, that happened, let me instantly forget about it” thing that happens way too often in big leagues wrestling midcards.


Best: The John Cena Vs. Brock Lesnar SummerSlam Video

In case you missed it:

Best: It’s Better Than Local, I Guess

The best match on the show besides that 10ish seconds of Mojo Rawley being a total failure was the tag match in the semi-main, pairing up Kalisto with his new partner OTHER LUCHADOR against The Vaudevillains.

I’ve read a lot of praise for the match around the internet this morning, but I don’t remembering liking it very much … one of the hardest things about writing multiple weekly wrestling recaps is that sometimes you’re just having a bad day or you’re in a bad mood and don’t process things correctly. I spent most of yesterday in a doctor’s office, so watching Hunicara hop around all slowly and slap his thigh didn’t light my world on fire. All I could think of was “why aren’t the Vaudevillains having more fun?” and “why are we still having Kalisto stand still for 70% of a match when HE DOES CRAZY THINGS is his hook?”

That said, I went back and rewatched it today and it was better than I remember. Sin Cara turning a schoolboy roll-up into powerbomb was rad as hell. That should be the Wrist-Clutch Exploder of the Divas division. Just have Eva Marie roll somebody up off a distraction, hoist them into the air over her head and drive them into the ground. Both Divas should then EXPLODE.

The final minute or so of Sin Cara hitting the Flying Push to the outside and Kalisto going bonkers with spins and jumps was good. I would’ve preferred the Vaudevillains win because I love them, and also because a Vaudevillains vs. Ascension comedy match is something I desperately need in my life.

Best/Worst: Renee Young Should Stop Improvving In The Booth

I don’t know what was worse, Renee suggesting that Sin Cara and Kalisto should get along because they’re both Mexican, or her explanation about the meaning of Kalisto’s “three spikes.” One represents lucha libre, one represents WWE and the other represents “Mexican, with the Americans.” Let’s not point out that Kalisto’s got like 70 horns on his head. Also, hey, if you guys didn’t know Sin Cara was Kalisto’s mystery partner, how did you talk to Sin Cara about the match “earlier today?”

I’ll give her some love for her joke about trying to capture the Loch Ness Monster and accidentally capturing Giant Haystacks, because that’s a fantastic joke.

Worst: Kalisto’s Finish

Look at that picture. His finish isn’t an Asai DDT, it’s him shredding you testicles with his head spikes.

Worst: Which Guy From Raw Creative Got Demoted And Put In Charge Of NXT?

In last week’s column I complained about the finish of the Vaudevillains/Cass and Enzo match being a “Raw finish.” The match was going fine until SOMEBODY’S MUSIC PLAYED, which caused a distraction and allowed Gotch to get a roll-up win. After the match Cass and Enzo didn’t seem to care about how they’d just lost, they wanted revenge on the MUSICAL DISTRACTORS~! It was horrible.

THIS week, the proposed main-event of Adrian Neville vs. Rusev gets TWO tired Raw tropes: the match being non-title for absolutely no reason whatsoever, and it ending in a DQ to set up something else.

The first one’s just annoying. Neville is the NXT Champion and he’s stated openly that he’ll take on all comers and defend his championship. The announcers have to pull a “well, uh, he said he’d fight anybody” thing, as if any of that makes sense in a world of contract signings and Reasons For Things. The worst part is that Neville WON (by disqualification), so why couldn’t you have made this for the strap? It would’ve given Neville another name to say he’s defended against, gives your championship a little more prestige for having been defended and gives Neville a broader reason to be upset with Breeze. “You ruined my non-title match and caused me to win” isn’t great. “I was about to defend the NXT Championship and beat Rusev in the middle of the ring and you ruined it” could be. Through Neville’s eyes, it’s the only thing that makes sense.

The second one is tired. One of the worst aspects of the Crash TV era is that you build these main events that are supposed to be cool and important and make people want to watch, and you almost always end them with bullshit. By doing so, you teach people that nothing cool or important or worth watching is gonna happen, because the only matches of note happen at “special events.” If you create an illusion you have to maintain and nurture it. You can’t create it, find out that it works and then lean on it until it breaks. WWE’s so far past the breaking they’re lying in 20-year old lean rubble. Just lying face down on the ground in it. I don’t need 30 DQ finishes to set up Breeze/Neville. It set itself up with past Breeze/Neville interactions and that whole thing you did to name a #1 Contender.

Whoever got kicked off the Raw team and sent to Full Sail to put shows together needs to lose his job. This show has always succeeded by NOT being Raw or Smackdown. What worse here doesn’t work there and vice versa. Understand your audience and really give us something to be excited about, because it’s so impossibly easy.

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