Hey, Blue Team.
This week’s Smackdown starts strong and ends strong, but the middle is infuriating. We get a lot of variations on WrestleMania matches, and with the exception of Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks, it’s not great. One week to go until the show of shows. Let’s get on with it.
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And now without further ado, here is The Best and Worst of Smackdown for March 24, 2016.
Best: When Everything’s Working
Smackdown opens up with Charlotte and Ric Flair in the ring. She says that we’re a little over a week away from WrestleMania, which means she’s a week away from putting an end to the Diva’s Revolution and the beginning of the Woo Revolution. Her and her dad go on a bit of a woo rampage until Sasha Banks’ music hits.
First match is Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte in a non-title match with Becky Lynch on commentary and the elder Flair at ringside. The bells rings and Charlotte immediately rolls out of the ring, wanting nothing of Sasha. Sasha rolls out of the ring after her, and chases Charlotte back into the ring where Sasha immediately gets the upper hand. Sasha looks great here. Since the breakup of Team B.A.D., she’s looked better and better every week. Sasha’s energy is so infectious. She does a lot of mocking of Ric and Charlotte with some struts and woos, but pays for it with a big boot to the face, which takes her down. The middle of the match has some great back and forth between the two, with the advantage switching between the two.
The end comes when Charlotte’s out on the outside and Sasha hits her with a baseball slide that sends her over by Becky. Sasha exits the ring and attempts to hit Charlotte with her right hand, but Charlotte throws Sasha into Becky. Charlotte rolls back into the ring and Sasha follows. Charlotte hits Sasha with a spine buster and then attempts a figure four, but then Sasha catches her in a small package for the win. After the match, Becky comes in and hits the Bex-plex on both the competitors. As Becky leaves up the ramp, Sasha hits a backstabber on Charlotte to go out on top.
This was a really good match. I’m usually never a fan of the challenger beating a champion heading into a Pay-Per-View. It’s one of my frequent WWE complaints. But I have to admit, it works really well here. The crowd went nuts when Sasha won. They were already beginning to get to their feet at the one count. You can’t argue with a reaction like that heading into WrestleMania, especially when so little on the show is getting that sort of reaction. I also appreciate that if you’re going to do something like that, you do it with a small package. It’s not a definitive victory of Charlotte; Sasha just caught Charlotte off-guard at the right time. But if Sasha can do that next Sunday in Dallas, she’s the new Divas Champion. I’m into it.
Worst: Too Much Booty
WWE is fantastic at taking something you like and running it into the ground. Maybe we don’t need the four minute New Day promos every Monday and Thursday. Maybe some days they’re just here to wrestle. Over the last few months, the New Day’s promos have gone from gold to really hit and miss. But I don’t really think it’s their fault. I don’t think anyone could sustain the amount of promo time they’re given every week and deliver 100% gold every time. How ’bout we save these New Day promos for when they really have something to say. WWE, please don’t burn me out on New Day. Please.
Best: No Del Rio
Tonight’s New Day vs. League of Nations selection is Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus. Much like Charlotte vs. Sasha, it’s another one of a portion of a WrestleMania match. The match starts with the two men grappling around each other, until Sheamus gets the advantage and sends Kofi into the corner for a barrage of hard hitting kicks. Kofi fights back to his feet and takes it to Sheamus with some hard hitting blows of his own, matching Sheamus’ energy very well. These guys really brought it to each other throughout the match. You can tell we’re getting toward the end of the Road to WrestleMania because everybody seems to be stepping it up a bit.
We cut to a commercial break and when we get back, Sheamus is squarely in control of the match, beating down Kingston. Eventually Sheamus misses a knee drop off the second rope, allowing Kingston to regain the advantage. Kofi hits a really nice somersault plancha and a flying crossbody, but it’s not enough to put Sheamus away. Sheamus tries to remove the turn buckle but is caught by the ref. This allows Kingston to hit a spinning back kick. He attempts a pinfall but Rusev reaches in and puts Sheamus’ foot on the rope. Sheamus gets back up and hits Kofi with an extremely impressive Brogue Kick, which looks like it should have take Kofi’s had clean off. There’s no way Kofi’s getting up from that. Sheamus gets the three count.
This was another good match, but not as good as Sasha and Charlotte, and the ending didn’t work as well for me. Probably because we’re two match into the show and both matches have told the same story; a percentage of WrestleMania Challenger defeats a portion of WrestleMania Champion. I can’t give this a worst because the match itself was good. But c’mon, you run the same storyline twice in the first half hour of the show? That’s what I call booty.
Worst: Reigns So Crazy
After the first two matches on this week’s show, logic dictates this should an Uso vs. a Dudley in a one-on-one match. Instead, we get The Usos vs. The Ascension as a tag tam match as The Ascension gears up for their big Andre the Giant Memorial match. There’s not really anything to say about the match itself. The Usos win, duh. This segment’s all about the shenanigans happening around the match. After the match, The Usos pull out some tables from under the ring. They put The Ascension on them and The Usos come off the top rope with a pair of splashes through the tables. As this is happening, The Dudleys watch on from a television in the back. They’re soon interrupted by Rock ‘n’ Roll Renee Young who’s wearing a leather jacket with studs on it. She asks The Dudleys what’s going to happen in their match with The Usos at WrestleMania. The Dudleys go about trashing The Usos and multiple generations of Samoans until they’re interrupted by Roman Reigns. Bubba asks Roman if he wants a match tonight. Roman says he doesn’t want a match; he wants a fight. Because they’re in Boston? I guess that’s a reason? Ugh.
Worst: Inzayn
It’s Smackdown, which means Dolph Ziggler is in tag team action. This week he’s teaming up with Sami Zayn to face Intercontinental Champion Kevin Owens and The Miz in another fraction of a WrestleMania match. This segment fueled me with WWE nerd rage. WWE’s done a good job of handling the main roster feud of Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn up until this point. Since eliminating him at the Royal Rumble, Sami has failed to be able to get his hands on Owens for any significant amount of time. It definitely felt like they were building up to the first time these guys would wrestle each other in a main roster match would be at WrestleMania. For weeks now I’ve been looking forward to that moment, where all the other participants in the Intercontinental Ladder match are down and Owens is finally forced to face Sami one-on-one. But instead, and for seemingly no reason whatsoever, this moment happens in a tag match on Smackdown. Sami and The Miz were in the ring with each when The Miz goes to tag in Kevin Owens. Owens attempts to leave, but The Miz tries to stop him, allowing Zayn to jump both Miz and Owens, followed by Sami rolling Owens into the ring and then having a couple of minutes of in-ring action. There was zero reason for this. They absolutely could have had this match without the two of them ever having to be in the ring together. Why would they do this? Why would they attempt to keep them away from each other up to this point, just to throw it all away. I can’t even tell you what else happened in this match because I was so disgusted. So, let’s just fast forward to the equally confusing end of the segment.
Owens once again tries to walk out on the match, but this time, he’s met on the ramp by Job Squad 2.0; Sin Cara, Stardust, and Zack Ryder. Miz runs up and grabs Owens, throwing him back into the ring. Miz hits Owens with a skull crushing finale, but then eats a superkick from Ziggler and a helluva kick from Zayn, who then gets the pin on Miz. Post match, one by one the participants of the ladder match come in a take each other out. Stardust taking out Zayn, Sin Cara taking out Stardust, etc etc. It all feels like pretty typical multi-man ladder match build until the segment ends with Zack Ryder giving Kevin Owens a Rough Ryder, which leads to Ryder standing tall over all of his WrestleMania opponents. What in the world is happening? I don’t dislike Zack Ryder, but this is really weird. Are they going to do something with Ryder after ‘Mania? Is he just going to disappear again? I’m happy for the guy, but why did they feel like there had to be seven people in this match to the point that they included Zack Ryder? Imagine you just started watching WWE in the last few years, and you don’t watch NXT. You would have absolutely no idea who this guy is who is all of a sudden vying for the Intercontinental Title and taking out Kevin Owens on Smackdown. The whole thing is very weird.
Worst: The Bully Becomes The Bullied
Next up is Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Roman Reigns and Roman keeps his promise, keeping this a fight and not a match. Bubba Ray Dudley could actually make a really good opponent for Reigns. Too bad we don’t find that out here, as quickly the match dissolves to Roman Reigns beating up Bubba Ray on the outside. Reigns hits Bubba with a superman punch, and Dudley rolls to the outside, where Roman throws him into the barricade and throws him into the ring apron. Bubba gets in a slight bit of offense before Reigns grabs Bubba’s head and repeatedly plows it into the announce table, just like Triple H did to him. Because I guess the way Roman Reigns sends a message to Triple H is by beating up Bubba Ray Dudley? Reigns throws Bubba Ray into the steel steps and follows up with more punches to his head. D-Von runs down to the ring to save his partner, but Reigns catches him with a superman punch. Roman then picks up the steel steps and nails D’Von with them before rolling into the ring and hitting Bubba with a spear. He nonchalantly rolls out of the ring and heads back up the ramp. What an asshole!
This is your conquering hero, this is your face of the company; a bully. Why do I want to see Roman Reigns beat Triple H and win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship? Why would I want to see this bully win? His character has gotten endless opportunities, but he still has a chip on his shoulder for some reason. This doesn’t make any sense to me. Roman Reigns is just running around WWE throwing fits for no reason. This is not a good guy, this is a maniac.
Best: Reflection Of Truth
Maybe I’m just willing to give a best to anything after a Roman Reigns segment, but I actually kind of liked this week’s Golden Truth bit. I like both of these guys and they have good chemistry together. If they can steer away from the potty humor and not veer in directions of homophobia, I’ll be on board with these guys. This week’s gag is a real simple one. R-Truth approaches Goldust backstage while he’s finishing up his makeup. Truth once again asks Goldust about partnering with him. Goldust gives Truth his answer by taking his makeup and writing the word “NO” on Truth’s forehead. Truth looks in the mirror and reads it as “ON” and assumes that means that them tagging together is on.
Worst: A Passing Breeze
Wow. WWE couldn’t have less respect for Tyler Breeze. The Gold Truth segment is followed up by a short match between AJ Styles and Tyler Breeze. The match wasn’t even uploaded to WWE’s YouTube channel. It’s like they want to pretend Tyler Breeze doesn’t exist. How did he not end up in that Intercontinental Ladder match? Just a couple of months ago, he was in that multi-man IC Title match on RAW where Owens won the belt back. I hate to keep harping on this, but Zack Ryder is in that match at ‘Mania. ZACK RYDER. Why did they call Breeze up? What are they doing with him? Why would they spend so many years developing a talent to throw him away? It’s absolutely disgusting. I don’t even know what else to say. I still love you, Tyler Breeze. May your Road to Next Year’s WrestleMania be a better one.
Best Worst:
For the second time this decade, Brock Lesnar is on Smackdown. Paul Heyman says this is your main event of the evening, and he couldn’t be more right. Heyman says that Lesnar and Dean Ambrose are facing each other in a no-holds-barred street match at WrestleMania, and he then goes on to explain exactly what that means as Lesnar stands next to him, laughing. Heyman talks about how anything Ambrose can get his hands on, he can use in the match. A chair, a crowbar, a kendo stick. It’s all perfectly legal. Heyman says that anything Dean Ambrose can get his hands on, Brock Lesnar can get his hands on too. If there’s a more terrifying thought than that, I don’t know what it is. Heyman tells Ambrose to get out to the ring right now, because Lesnar wants to fight tonight. But instead of Ambrose, the Wyatt Family appears.
The Wyatts circle the ring, but before they can attack, Ambrose’ music hits. Ambrose takes out Bray with a kendo stick while Lesnar sends Rowan and Strowman to Suplex City. Deans hits the ring and beats down Lesnar with the kendo stick until Lesnar comes back and hits him with a big clothesline. Lesnar then hits Ambrose with a couple of blows with the kendo stick before snapping it on two. Brock hits Dean with the F5, leaving Ambrose in agony as Smackdown goes off the air.
I liked this segment a lot. It did everything it needed to do to keep propelling these guys toward my main event at WrestleMania. I also kind of like the idea of the Wyatt Family looming as a threat in that match. Once you set the stipulation of a no-holds-barred street fight, anything should be able to happen. Including mystical swamp people interfering in the match. At least it gives Bray Wyatt something to do at WrestleMania without having to lose again.
I’m Justin Donaldson, and I’ll be back next week with whatever eight-man tag team match happens between Axxess segments.
