Hey, Blue Team.
The post-TakeOver SmackDown is always a difficult one. Even the worst TakeOver is better than any SmackDown episode from the past 13 years. A solid TakeOver the night before always makes SmackDown feel like less of a show and more like content fulfillment. This week’s show is pretty good, even though nothing happens. I guess we probably have five more weeks of that.
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And now without further ado, here is The Best and Worst of SmackDown for June 9, 2016.
Worst: Enzo’s Skull Is S – A – W – F – T… SAWFT!
At some point between RAW and SmackDown, WWE decided that people are talking about the possibility of this year’s Money in the Bank pay-per-view being the greatest Money in the Bank pay-per-view of all time. CM Who? Within the first three minutes of the show, both Mauro Ranallo and AJ Styles state this. It’s one of those things that becomes true just by them stating it. They mention that people are talking about it, and then I type here that people are talking about it, and by virtue of that, I am talking about it. So people are talking about this possibly being the greatest Money in the Bank pay-per-view of all time and I certainly hope so – I have tickets!
The Club kicks off the show by bringing us up to date with everything going on in WWE. Money in the Bank, the brand extension, what happened on RAW, etc. All through the mouth hole of heel AJ Styles. AJ’s verbal skills were already no match for his in-ring ones, but heel AJ trying to make his way through these scripted WWE promos is rough.
The key difference between a face AJ promo and a heel AJ promo seems to be him just saying everything angrily and emphatically. He has no idea where his inflections should go. Is he angry that he’s wrestling John Cena? Is he angry about the brand extension? Does he just dislike the word “match”? It’s hard to tell, exactly.
Luckily, Enzo & Cass show up to save television and see how everyone’s doing. Gallows and Anderson turn The Club’s mic game around slightly and have a nice back and forth with Enzo & Cass, mainly focusing on the fact that Enzo once ran a Hooters and more discussion of his concussion. Oh, concussion jokes. Always a laugh. I’m always for working real-life injuries into your angles, but maybe concussions should be off-limits. It’s just a little too real for me. I guess one too many of my favorite wrestlers killed their families (plus Daniel Bryan’s body is still warm). And watching what happened to Enzo at Payback was horrifying. It just doesn’t sit right with me to bring it into wrestling storylines.
Anyway, Cass spells out SAWFT and everybody’s happy.
Best: Tag Team Wrestling, While It Lasts
Enzo & Cass vs. Gallows & Anderson is the first match-up of the evening, and these teams have much better chemistry in the ring than out of it. The teams styles compliment each other really well. Gallows & Anderson work best when they’re beating the crap out of people, and Enzo & Cass work best when Enzo’s getting the crap kicked out of him, leading to that hot tag to Cass. They’re taking the “reaching for the hot tag” schtick to new levels here. The match also has the cherry on top of New Day on commentary (which is always great), bringing their signature blend of comedy and competent commentary. They also somehow get Byron Saxton to feed them grapes while they’re commentating.
There’s a great moment in the match where Enzo escapes a big boot from Gallows outside the ring by the time keeper’s area, and then ends up on the ground by the announce table. He looks up and sees Cass reaching out for the tag from their corner. It’s dramatic enough when Enzo’s trying to get from one side of the ring to get the tag, now they’ve added another five feet and it’s fantastic. Enzo dives into the ring, and then dives in for the tag, but catches a knee from Anderson, sending him back out of the ring. It’s great.
After a commercial break, an appearance by The Vaudevillains and some more beating down by The Club. Enzo finally tags in Cass. Man, I LOVE good tag team wrestling. This is just pure joy for me. Unfortunately, well enough cannot be left alone, and the match has to end with The Vaudevillains and New Day getting involved and everyone brawling. The faces dump the heels out of the ring and Enzo & Cass stand tall. People are saying this could be the best Money in the Bank pay-per-view of all time. The card is stacked with a lot of potentially great matches, but I may be looking forward to the tag team title match the most. It’s one of those weird modern WWE matches that I never could have imagined just two years ago. I can’t imagine what this match looks like, and I love that. It’s a good time to be a tag team wrestling fan. At least until the brand split separates these teams once again. For one bright shining moment, all these teams found themselves on the same roster at the same time, so let’s throw them all together and see what happens.
Worst: The Shell of Titus O’Neil
The best thing about Titus O’Neil used to be how much fun he was. He was fun on commentary, fun in interviews, fun around ringside. But ever since Titus returned from his suspension, WWE has managed to suck all the fun out of him. He seems like they have him on a pretty tight leash. He’s sticking to the script, every step of the way. Titus and Rusev are backstage being interviewed by Renee Young about their upcoming United States Title Match at Money in the Bank. Points for having Rusev talk about being better than Muhammad Ali so close to Ali’s death. But even that can’t stop this segment from falling flat. These two don’t seem to have any natural chemistry together. It’s the only match on the Money in the Bank card that I’m not looking forward to, and this segment did nothing to change that. Both of these guys are entertaining when they’re allowed to cut loose, but this segment was as tightly wound as it gets.
Best: The Same, But Different
Last week, Kevin Owens grabbed a headset and yelled about being sick of these tag team matches, and I am too. You know the ones. Where they take four random participants in the Money in the Bank ladder match and team them up to have good to great matches that don’t matter and no one remembers. It looked like we were headed for another one of those this week with Cesaro and Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens and Alberto Del Rio. Instead, these four men flipped the script and gave us something far more interesting than a random tag match.
It starts out run of the mill, then soon Alberto Del Rio goes to tag in his partner but Kevin Owens leaves. Now, that’s also pretty normal fare. But it kicks off the match turning into something pretty interesting. Zayn runs off after Owens, creating a pretty good one-on-one match up between Cesaro and Del Rio. After a while, Owens and Zayn eventually battle their way back out, Owens finds himself back in the ring and in a shoving match with his own partner. That’s when Del Rio decides he’s leaving. Owens and Del Rio continue to argue outside the ring until Zayn flies over the ref and takes out Owens. Del Rio sends Sami into the barricade, Cesaro hits Del Rio with an upper cut, and now everyone’s back involved with the match. But it never really turns back into a tag team match.
It’s more like everyone is out for themselves from this point forward, trying to win the match on their own or at least prevent anyone else from winning. Cesaro tries to swing Del Rio but gets superkicked by Owens. Sami then Dragon Suplexes Kevin, Del Rio kicks Sami in the head, Cesaro hits Del Rio with a Pop-up Uppercut … everybody’s taking out everybody. Cesaro keeps gaining the lead on Del Rio, but Owens is always there to interrupt. The finish has Cesaro trying to superplex Del Rio, but Owens shakes the ropes causing Cesaro to fall into the Tree of Woe. Del Rio hits Cesaro with the double stomp, but before he can attempt the pin, Owens pulls Del Rio out of the ring and throws him down to the ground. Owens rolls in the ring and pins Cesaro himself.
This was a very welcome change. A fun match that told a couple of great stories and helps move everyone one step closer to Money in the Bank. Another great example of these guys doing the best with what’s given to them.
Best: Becky Lynch’s Hair
Becky Lynch’s hair is amazing. Unfortunately the rest of the segment doesn’t live up to it. I’ve enjoyed all the other Becky Lynch/Dana Brooke matches, but this one isn’t much of a match. They weren’t given enough time this week to do much of anything. Still, it’s a fun and entertaining segment. Charlotte is in Dana’s corner and Nattie is in Becky’s. I still miss Emma, but the team of Dana and Charlotte is growing on me. I’d love to see Emma join them when she comes back to be the Tully to Charlotte and Dana’s Flair and Arn.
Charlotte and Nattie keep getting involved until the ref ejects them from ringside. I thought this was where the match was really going to get started. Instead Becky reverses a suplex attempt by Dana and rolls her into the Dis-Arm-Her for the win. Disappointing that we didn’t get more of a match, but that hair though!
Worst: Kansas City
Kalisto vs. Baron Corbin is up next. I’m really into Baron, but I’d like to see WWE go all in on the character and start plussing things up. They announce him as being from Kansas City. Baron Corbin should not be from somewhere as boring as Kansas City. Since they obviously need the helping hand, I submit this list of places Baron Corbin should be from to the WWE writing staff. You have my full permission to pick one of these and run with it.
- The Lone Road
- The Lost Highway
- Wolfbane Lane
- The Moonlit Blacktop
- The Pack
- The Last Full Moon
- The Side of the Road
- The Wolves Den
- The Road to Nowhere
- Wolfsburg
- Sturges
Kalisto gets in a little bit of offense, but it’s pretty much a straight-up squash. WWE loves taking a belt off of somebody and then having them lose forever. Kalisto seems to be in that spot right now. I know it doesn’t make much sense, but you could make Rusev vs. Titus O’Neil a lot more fun and interesting if you threw Kalisto in there and made it a three-way. Dolph Ziggler’s on commentary for this match and shockingly he doesn’t interfere. Ziggler and Corbin have a stare down while Baron is trashing Kalisto outside, but they never get physical and Ziggler never distracts Corbin on behalf of Kalisto. So that’s finally something different. Ziggler does a good job on commentary too. I guess Ziggler and Corbin will meet each other again, somewhere down the highway.
Worst: A Bunch Of People I Like Doing A Thing I Don’t Like
Ugh. Everyone here deserves better than this.
Best: No Stipulations
Your main event this week is Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose in a match. That’s right, just a regular match. No mops, no tacks, no Punjabi Prison, and it’s very good. I enjoyed this so much more than their asylum match. I know that’s not saying much; I would have enjoyed them Indian wrestling more than I enjoyed the asylum match. But still, this is a good one-on-one singles match-up. It’s a pretty straightforward match with a couple of fun spots like Jericho catapulting Ambrose off the announce table to the floor and then throwing Jerry Lawler’s drink at him. But mostly the match stays in the ring with nice back and forth action.
I really like having it all come back to two guys wrestling each other at the end of the show after a night full of shenanigans. There’s a really nice feeling to that. The reminder of oh yeah, this is supposed to be about wrestling. Jericho gets the pin after a codebreaker, but it definitely felt like the match could have gone either way. After the match, Jericho brings a ladder into the ring, sets it up in the corner, and attempts to send Ambrose into it, but Dean reverses and Jericho eats the ladder instead. Ambrose then grabs the ladder and drops it on Jericho’s back. Then he sets it up and drops the elbow off of it. Jericho may be able to out-wrestle Ambrose, but Ambrose can out-crazy him. With the glaring exception of the asylum match, I’ve enjoyed Jericho and Ambrose’s matches, but I’d be perfectly content if this was the last one-on-one match up these two have for a while. I’d like to see Ambrose end up on whatever brand Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens are not on so we can keep these guys away from each other for a while.
Until next week, I’m Justin Donaldson and I’m the seventh man in Money in the Bank, but WWE doesn’t know that yet. Shhhh…
