Hey, Blue Team!
The WWE will make a tree fall in the forest if there’s someone there to see it. Last week, Smackdown Live finally did the unthinkable and beat Raw in the ratings. Smackdown Live was the #1 Sports Entertainment show on television. So now that people are finally watching Smackdown, the WWE has decided to finally start having things happen on it. I can say with absolutely no hyperbole that more things happened on this week’s show than happened on every episode of Smackdown between 2011 and 2014. Dolph Ziggler turned heel, the Intercontinental Title changed hands, there’s an epic contract signing where John Cena loses it … it’s a real fun show overall in spite of some cringe-worthy moments.
It’s a new year and a new you, so why not make your New Year’s Resolution to take a moment to give The Best and Worst of Smackdown Live a share on your favorite social media platform. While you’re at it, follow With Spandex on Twitter and like us on Facebook. It helps us a lot.
And now without further ado, here is The Best and Worst of Smackdown Live for January 3rd, 2017.
Worst: Slap-A-Tap-Tap
The first Smackdown Live of 2017 kicks off just three chairs and a carpet shy of Miz TV. The Miz and Maryse come down to the ring to talk about all the goings-on with them, the Intercontinental Championship, and Renambrose (the name I have given the on-screen version of Renee Young and Dean Ambrose). The Miz’s promo is, of course, awesome, and does a solid job of getting me excited for his match with Dean Ambrose later in the night.
It apparently piqued Dean Ambrose’s interest too, because he comes down to the ring. As soon as he does, Miz hightails it through the ropes to hide behind Maryse. She ends up slapping Ambrose because all four of these people are now in a storyline that is solely based on slapping. Maybe this feud ends in a mixed tag match where they’re only allowed to slap one another.
The segment’s all going fine until The Miz and Maryse (Mizryse?) leave and Dean Ambrose picks up the mic. Ambrose says that the hard part of his evening is over, because Maryse hits harder than The Miz does. OH SNAP. It’s crazy to me that the same company that’s been putting on the Sasha Banks/Charlotte matches and has Asuka as their NXT Women’s Champion still thinks a comment about a woman hitting harder than a man is the ultimate insult. It was literally the only thing that Ambrose said. A real “mic drop” moment. Why are we not past this? I can think of, like, forty guys I’d rather get hit in the face by than Maryse. She’s an athlete. She’s a two-time Diva’s Champion. Come on WWE, be better than that.
Every time a WWE writer puts a line of dialogue like that on paper, they should be punched in the face by Asuka.
I like The Miz hiding behind Maryse. It’s good chickensh*t heel stuff. I would have really enjoyed this segment if after the slap, the face would have been the bigger man and just turned and walked away. Ambrose is the good guy. Why have him say something like that? It’s not like he’s trying to goad Miz into a match or something. He already knows he’s wrestling him later in the show.
Maryse’s slaps were just getting started. Later in the show, she would find Renee Young standing silently in a hallway as she stood face to face with a man in a suit.
Geez Renee. Why did you fall to your knees? It’s only a girl hitting you. It’s not like you were hit by the strong, powerful Miz.
Best/Worst: A Turn For The Better?
This week’s Smackdown Live featured a heel turn for Dolph Ziggler. I had heard about Ziggler turning heel before I saw it happen and my immediate reaction was a positive one, and for a few reasons. For one, Ziggler works great as a heel. His best work outside the ring has probably been as a heel. I loved #heelziggler. You give him another heater like Big E or maybe build some other heel stable around him, we could be in for a lot of fun television.
Second, he is in desperate need of some change. He’s done some great work this year, but outside of AJ Styles, he’s wrestled every heel on the show extensively. But Johnny Big Match decided to take a hiatus from The Today Show to tie Ric Flair’s record between ESPY ceremonies, so I guess an extensive Ziggler/Styles feud isn’t in the cards right now. I guess you could have feuded him with The Wyatts, but I don’t really see that clicking very well outside of how well he works with Harper.
So now he has a lot more feud options for the foreseeable future. Kalisto, Apollo Crews … is Jack Swagger still alive? He could wrestle him, I guess. I don’t know why, but I’d like to see a good long feud between heel Ziggler and the current version of Heath Slater. I think it could really help Slater fulfill my dream of him becoming an upper-mid-carder. There’s a lot of potential there.
But once I saw the turn happen, I started having second thoughts. As good as Ziggler is as a heel, he’s also been really good as a face. Over and over again, he’s overcome the adversity of WWE’s poor writing of good guys by garnering sympathy and showing his heart in the ring during matches. He’s sort of been able to paint a narrative for his character in the ring without having to rely on WWE’s Creative team outside the ring. On a TV show where there are increasingly less likable characters to root for, Ziggler gave you a reason to root for him. Imagine how successful Ziggler would have been as a face if the company had really gotten behind them, instead of the odd way they have used them.
Dolph Ziggler’s a guy the fans want to root for. On Smackdown, a lot of the building kept cheering for him after he turned. I still think a heel run right now could be a very positive thing for Dolph, but it definitely didn’t get off to the best start.
Once again this week, Dolph Ziggler and Baron Corbin found themselves in the ring with each other because they just can’t stop feuding over who’s the most metal. That’s just an assumption on my part. It was a pretty standard affair as far as Ziggler/Corbin matches go, ending with Corbin hitting End of Days and pinning Dolph clean after kicking out of a Zig Zag.
After the match, Corbin goes and grabs a chair which brings out Kalisto to make the save. Kalisto chases Corbin out of the ring and once Ziggler’s back to his feet, he hits Kalisto with a superkick. That’s one way to do that. This heel turn came so far from out of nowhere, it’d make Randy Orton jealous.
The execution of it was all good. I just don’t know if it makes the most sense storyline-wise for this to be happening right now. Now’s the time Dolph’s finally been pushed too far? This guy must really have a lot of patience. To make sure we knew Ziggler was turning heel and not just starting some sort of weird beef with Kalisto, they follow up with a backstage segment.
I may not be ready to give Ziggler’s heel turn a best, but I’m cautiously optimistic.
Best: 100/100
The way the endings of the last few months of Becky Lynch/Alexa Bliss matches have gone is a perfect example of how fifty/fifty booking can work when done well. I haven’t loved all of their matches, but I really enjoy the way the feud is being booked. They built up Becky as the better physical wrestler, while building Bliss up to be, if not the smarter wrestler, at least the more cunning. It makes their characters almost equals in the ring even though they are at far different skill levels.
On this week’s show, Becky Lynch wrestled the mysterious masked La Luchadora, who at one point in the match, switches places with Alexa Bliss dressed in the same costume. Yet Becky Lynch still beats her. The next time these two face off in a big match for the belt on a pay-per-view, it’s going to feel like either of them could win. It will be up to Becky Lynch to see if she can outwrestle Alexa Bliss before Bliss can pull off whatever scheme she has planned. I love that.
Best: Sign Of The Times
Our next segment opens up with the most over face on the brand, Daniel Bryan, spelling out for all of us exactly what we are about to see in perfect WWE corporate speak. The Royal Rumble Pay-Per-View WWE Championship Contract Signing. I can picture Vince McMahon in Bryan’s face yelling that phrase at him over and over again for two hours in that same voice he uses to tell people they’re fired on television. Once Bryan brings out signees AJ Styles and John Cena, he’s quickly sent to the back before he can say anything that’s not WWE approved.
There was a lot to like in this segment. AJ and Cena were both on fire. At first I was worried that this was just going to be another one of those “indie guy vs. WWE-made megastar” promos they’ve been doing since CM Punk. But then they took it to the next step, having Styles brilliantly call out a real life fact that may have hit a little too close to home for Cena; that he’ll never be as famous as The Rock. I don’t know if John Cena the real person has any fears, but if he does, I could see that being one. I could also see real-life Cena being so messed up in the head that his deepest darkest fear could be that he is not working as hard as The Rock. Oh, Real Life John Cena. I love you and hate you as much as I love and hate the John Cena character.
So AJ Styles’ Rock allegation lights Cena up, and John Cena responds in the most perfect way possible: like a ten-year-old boy. This is why children like John Cena so much; he acts just like one. AJ Styles makes John Cena mad, so John Cena says, “I’m mad” and stomps around. John Cena even looks like a child; he’s dressed like a child! He kind of looks like one of those My Buddy dolls. If that’s what WWE is actually going for and not just what I’m reading into it, that’s brilliant.
The whole thing is fantastic and then Baron Corbin shows up.
From Out Of Nowhere, like another Randy Orton joke, Baron Corbin is now in this segment. He’s here to announce that he’s winning the Royal Rumble, so therefore he’s facing one of the two of them at WrestleMania. I like the logic behind that. John Cena responds to that by throwing another tantrum until Styles kicks him in the back of the head. In my mind, if Styles hadn’t kicked him from behind, Cena would have stacked AJ on top of Corbin, put the camera man on top of them for good measure, and AA’d all three of them through the ring. The John Cena monster is out of control and to keep living, it must be fed. It must break Flair’s record. It must defeat The Undertaker at WrestleMania. It must win a tie-breaker match with The Rock. AJ Styles and Baron Corbin are not going to stop it.
Best: Not Yet A Worst
I see more of a plus side in the Carmella/James Ellsworth relationship every week. Give it more time, their dynamic could end up working really well together. Much like Dolph Ziggler’s future, I’m cautiously optimistic about the future of Carmella and James Ellsworth.
Worst: The Remains Of The Tag Team Division
While going back over the show to write this column, I completely forgot that this American Alpha/Breezango match had taken place. Nor did I remember the Wyatt Family promo that followed it. Not a good sign. I’m worried for Smackdown’s Tag Team Division. By now it should have been as active as Smackdown’s Women’s Division is: three segments on one show with multiple storylines going on, everyone ultimately wrestling to get to the belt. Instead, it’s now a two team division. I’m worried.
Worst: I Can’t Even
I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t even want to talk about this. Just the worst reality show made up non-existent drama. And now they’re going to drag the corpse of Bret Hart into this? He’s my favorite wrestler; let the man die in peace. If you didn’t see it, I can sum it up by just saying it’s two horrible people saying horrible things to each other. Nobody wants this. That’s why people aren’t watching Total Divas. If the ratings are going down on that show, why duplicate the formula here?
On the plus side, at least three women’s segments in one show though, huh?
Best: How The Miz Is Gonna Win It Back
Your main event this week is The Miz losing the Intercontinental Championship to Dean Ambrose. I’m guessing this came about because someone in a suit walked into a room in Connecticut and said Smackdown did well in the ratings last week. What was on Smackdown last week that was different from other Smackdowns? John Cena and a surprise title change. If the ratings do as well this week, are they going to put the belts back on The Wyatts next week?
Anyway, The Miz and Dean Ambrose went out on a really good match, and I think the title change is the right move. Before tonight, it felt like Dean Ambrose hadn’t won a match since Summerslam. And it will be fun to see The Miz win it back in the most underhanded way possible. Maybe he’ll win the belt in that mixed tag match when Maryse pins Renee after she slaps her.
Hey, if you count that segment where Maryse slaps Renee this week, that’s four women’s segments on one episode of Smackdown Live. That’s some sort of progress?
Until next week, I’m Justin Donaldson and even though I say this every year and never do it, next year I’m going to Wrestle Kingdom.
