It took young skater Egill Gunnar two tries to pull off a backflip from one skateboard to another and not bust his ass. I guess that’s impressive. I prefer to land all of my skateboard tricks in one take, but then I don’t actually record mine to play for people, because they’re private between my friends and loved ones. Much like my sex tapes.
MLB: Angels at Rangers – 7 PM ET on ESPN
I’m not going to say that I fist-pumped and/or smiled and/or laughed loudly when I read that Albert Pujols may be out for the season, because I didn’t do any of those. Younger Burnsy would have definitely celebrated The Machine tearing his foot ligament or whatever that term is I can’t ever spell correctly, but Older, More Mature Burnsy is still among the classiest and most intelligent fans in baseball, so I think it sucks that Pujols might miss the rest of the season, no matter which team he plays for.
But I also know the Angels front office is trying to figure out how to taint a urine sample right about now.
WWE Monday Night Raw – 8 PM ET on USA
Mr. McMahon is back tonight! Unfortunately, I have no clue where he went. And that’s not Vince. That’s that dude who everyone loves, right?
John Cena will also take on Ryback in a lack of personalities match. Oops, sorry. My spellcheck didn’t correct “tables” properly.
Classic Battle of the Network Stars – 8 PM ET on ESPN Classic
I’d still love to see ABC bring this silly competition show back so I can watch Sarah Hyland take on Ashley Benson in a pudding wrestling match. That would probably get all of the ratings. Again, how am I not a network executive?