The Best And Worst Of WWE NXT 9/27/17: Maybe I’ll Catch Fire

Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE NXT: Aleister Black finally said something, Velveteen Dream finally did something, and Lars Sullivan finally is something.

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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for September 27, 2017.

Best: Do You Wanna Know?

I don’t know about you, but I was blown away with how much stuff they crammed into this week’s episode of NXT. We got five matches and seven promos/backstage segments, but most importantly, NXT GM William Regal finally gave an update regarding the NXT Women’s Championship, which has been vacant for nearly a month. His announcement? There will be a Fatal Four-Way to crown a new women’s champion at TakeOver: Houston, nearly two months away. The participants? Well, one slot will go to Mae Young Classic winner Kairi Sane, and the other three are up for grabs, with qualifying matches starting in two weeks. This storyline is moving along excruciatingly slowly, but I’m just happy to finally know what’s going on. Trust the process, I guess.

Best: Hell Yes

Lars Sullivan vs. Oney Lorcan felt like an ’80s NWA/WCW match in the best possible way — it was two pale, bald, ugly, and most importantly strong dudes who are good at delivering and accepting violence just going at it. It was like watching your dad pick a fight with your uncle at Thanksgiving after a few too many cans of Schlitz. Not that I endorse blading or anything, but when you watch guys like this go as hard as they did, it makes suspension of disbelief a little challenging when there’s no color.

Supplemental Best for Oney Lorcan continuing to get himself over through sheer force of will, between his pre-match exclamation of “Screw that!” to his seven straight slaps and two European uppercuts leading to a goddamn lariat taking his head clean off. I also loved how Sullivan was kept at bay post-match by Jason Statham Danny Burch. Presumably this means Burch is next in line to get whooped by Sullivan, which I’m all for — then can we please give Lorcan and Burch a tag-team run?

Best: Fine Without You

Backstage (in front of some adorable locker tape), Ruby Riot bristles at Kayla Braxton’s assumption that Nikki Cross is her friend and says she’ll take on the Iconic Duo by herself again — and if Cross shows up again, it’s not because Riot invited her. This is worlds away from the classic dumb babyface trope who accepts help from a heel only to get betrayed time and time again (’sup Sting), and I kinda like it, even if it shows that Riot would rather risk getting beaten down by two women than even attempt to have an ally. Very CM Punk-ish behavior.

What I can’t figure out is if this story is being created to take all four of these women out of the title picture or to add in some more layers during the qualifying matches.

Best: Dine, Dine My Darling

Team Steaks And Weights feasted on the pairing of Demitrius Bronson and Patrick Scott, aka bootleg R-Truth and Stef Curry in wrestling trunks. It was an interesting choice to have Tucker Knight start off the bout with some amateur wrestling; sure, it was nice to see how well-rounded he is, but it totally killed the crowd, who has never not been hot for Heavy Machinery. Luckily, Otis Dozovic solved that problem right quick with that goofy-ass leg move before his elbow drop — no clue what it’s supposed to be, but as with all things Heavy Machinery, I am all the way in.

How do we not have official Heavy Machinery merchandise yet? Slap Otis and Tucker’s faces on a box of Omaha Steaks, mark it up 70 percent or whatever and sell it to me already, WWEShop!

Worst: Time To Waste

Sometimes I wonder how much time wrestlers are given to prepare for these out-of-ring segments. Are they given scripts or told to wing it? Do they have time to compose their thoughts or is it red-light-on, let’s-go? I ask these questions because Roddy Strong did one of my all-time biggest pet peeves in interviews: He repeated the question Christy St. Cloud asked him. People who do that are generally either unprepared for the interview or lying about what they’re going to say.

This promo was a big bowl of nothing, and makes wonder where this character is going. He has a little more stubble than usual — could there be a Strong Rod heel turn in our future? (Hopefully.)

Later in the episode, Drew McIntyre is interviewed by a 12-year-old wearing his father’s old suit and completely dismisses Strong, saying anyone can have a shot at his title, he was just the first to ask. Cockiness suits Drew well.

Worst: You’ve Got So Far To Go

The last time we saw Vanessa Borne on NXT TV, it was in July, and her match sucked. Since then, she had to be carried through a pedestrian first-round match in the Mae Young Classic by Serena Deeb. Tonight, she returns to Full Sail to square off against Liv Morgan, who we haven’t seen since a battle royale way back in May. All that time off hasn’t done anything to her character, as she still bounces around like she’s at a Sky Zone and has nearly zero believable offense.

I’ll grant that Morgan’s Matrix bend was cool, but her timing is just off for so much of what she does. Yeah, she’s running the ropes harder, but nothing looks fluid. And the less said about Vanessa Borne, the better.

Best: All On Black

Without a doubt, the best part of last week’s episode was the Aleister Black/Velveteen Dream confrontation, and this promo from Black hammers home that this feud is (hopefully) going to be on par with something as memorable as Roddy Piper/Goldust (without the white Bronco, please). When Black calmly but firmly says, “I refuse to acknowledge a child that throws a tantrum,” and follows it up by calling Velveteen Dream “Patrick,” I went, “oooooooh snap.” I’m stoked to see what happens next.

Best: This Could Be Love

Kassius Ohno returns to action against Fabian Aichner, who was last seen in Full Sail losing to Jack Gallagher in the Cruiserweight Classic last summer. And yeah, the crowd didn’t have any idea who he was before the match started, but man oh man did they know his name by the end of it. This dude threw Ohno around like he was a cruiserweight, and he completely brought the house down with that springboard tope con hilo to the outside (which kinda-sorta had a corkscrew to it, too). Of course he was going to lose (which he did, to Ohno’s cyclone kick), but that’s beside the point: Fabian Aichner was awesome here. He is a freaky-strong bald European who makes everything look vicious—we’ve officially found our new Cesaro! Prepare for him to lose his last name as soon as he gets called up.

Best: Stupid Kid

Is it wrong that following Adam Cole’s pre-match “We are untouchable! We are unstoppable! We are undisputed!” promo, I wrote down in my notes, “and we are all too short to ride a roller coaster!”? Cole, along with his sidekicks Kyle O’Reilly and Bobby Fish (now and forever known as BayBay’s Kids, thanks Bill), are all billed at 5’11, which I totally call horseshit on.

Anyway, this was Cole’s NXT in-ring debut, and it was a perfectly fine introduction to his character, though honestly, my favorite part of his match against Eric Young is watching Nikki Cross carry around the NXT tag titles outside, looking like Gollum holding the precious. I also really enjoyed Bobby Fish’s adlibs to the other members of SAnitY when EY got chucked to the outside: “The fight doesn’t happen out here! Put him in or I’ll put him in!”

The match comes to its conclusion when Young makes a stupid decision: Despite having Cole dead to rights in the middle of the ring, he instead dives off the top turnbuckle onto everyone else outside the ring. The chaotic move fits SAnitY’s MO, but ends up costing him the victory. Cole & Co. escape Full Sail without any further beatdowns as the episode goes off the air, and we are left to wonder just how much interference there will be in next week’s main event.

Next Week: Drew McIntyre defends the NXT Championship against Roderick Strong, and hopefully, we start finding out who is going to be competing for a spot in this Fatal Four-Way for the NXT Women’s Championship at TakeOver: Houston.