Tonight, on the With Spandex WWE Raw open discussion thread:
May the 4th be with you! No, this week’s Raw probably won’t be overrun with Jedi, droids or Wookiees for “Star Wars” Day, but with both Randy Orton and Roman Reigns locked in attack formation as they pursue Seth Rollins’ WWE World Heavyweight Championship, we’re guaranteed some out-of-this-world action. You won’t need to use the Force to see what awaits on Monday night — just check out our Raw Five-Point Preview. (via WWE.com)
Our five-point preview:
1. That’s officially the laziest WWE.com preview blurb I’ve ever read. It’s like they don’t have the Raw script yet, and somebody was like, “I’ll just go to Facebook and see what’s going on.” I’m surprised it didn’t start with “Floyd Mayweather spent the whole fight running away!” and end with “here’s how old this website says Roman Reigns is.”
2. Want to support a pro wrestling faction that never technically existed? Buy the new THE KLIQ shirt, featuring an extreme closeup of an old man’s wrinkly hands as he throws up gang signs from 20 years ago!
3. If Bad News Barrett doesn’t show up with an extremely exaggerated king gimmick tonight, I’m going to be pissed. I want King Booker times 10. I want it to be so good that Regular Booker feels bad about it.
4. I’m going to go ahead and throw this out there: WWE’s preview is built around “who is the greatest threat to Rollins’ WWE Championship, Orton or Reigns?” The only way this match should go is with Brock Lesnar showing up, murdering everything in his path, decimating Orton and Reigns and accidentally giving Rollins another chance to steal a pin and worm away with the title. Then we built to SummerSlam, which should include an actual physical beheading of Seth Rollins and Lesnar being all-times champ for life.
5. Tonight, look for Damien Sandow to get over by repeatedly slapping the side of his hand against his chest to make fun of a handicapped kid in the front row.
As always, +1 your favorite comments and we’ll include 10 of the best in tomorrow’s Best and Worst of Raw column. May the 4th be with you! Hahaha that’s a joke I just made up!
