WWE Raw Results 3/31/14

If you’d like to know what happened on tonight’s WWE Raw but don’t want to read move-by-move recaps or wordy paragraphs of exposition to decipher it, With Leather is here for you. Here’s what happened on the March 31, 2014.

WWE Raw results:

– The show began with an in-ring confrontation between The Undertaker and Brock Lesnar. Lesnar got the best of Taker for once, hitting him with an F-5 and leaving him lying.

1. Alberto Del Rio defeated Intercontinental Champion Big E. This was a non-title match. Del Rio won with a superkick to a kneeling Big E.

2. Summer Rae defeated Natalya. Summer Rae won with a kick to the head.

– Triple H and Stephanie McMahon showed a video showcasing Triple H’s dominance, aka “all the people he’s beaten up and buried over the last several years.” They were interrupted by Batista and then Randy Orton, and tonight’s Orton/Batista match was made into a No Disqualification match.

3. The Usos and Los Matadores defeated Rybaxel and The Real Americans. Los Matadores pinned Jack Swagger after Twin Magic.

4. Bray Wyatt defeated R-Truth. Wyatt pinned Truth after a Sister Abigail. After the match Wyatt tried to celebrate, but John Cena infiltrated the celebration in a lamb mask and jumpsuit. Cena attacked the Wyatts, trying to Attitude Adjust Bray, but Bray was able to escape.

5. Naomi defeated Divas Champion AJ Lee. This was a non-title lumberjack match, with the other Divas from the Vickie Guerrero Invitational surrounding the ring. Naomi won via pinfall with the Rear View.

6. Kane defeated Roman Reigns. Roman Reigns won a WWE app vote asking which member of The Shield should wrestle Kane. Roman had the match in hand until the New Age Outlaws wandered out, bringing out the other members of The Shield and causing a melee. The Shield got into the ring and tried to triple powerbomb Kane, drawing a DQ, but the Outlaws pulled Kane away before they could do it.

– Rowdy Roddy Piper hosted a Piper’s Pit segment that devolved into a fight between a lot of the wrestlers from the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. The last man in the ring was The Big Show.

7. Randy Orton vs. Batista was a no contest. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon were on color commentary. During the match, Daniel Bryan showed up from out of nowhere and attacked Triple H, hitting him with a dive and repeated cane strikes, forcing up backwards up the ramp as Bryan stood in the ring Yes chanting with the crowd.

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