Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE Smackdown Live: A batch of Smackdown stars showed up on Raw 25 to play poker, briefly talk to Mean Gene, or briefly talk to Charly Caruso. It was a great use of everyone’s time!
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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE Smackdown Live for January 23, 2018.
Worst: I Don’t Really Understand What’s Going On
You’d think at some point Smackdown would figure out that they have AJ Styles, one of (if not the) best wrestler in the world, and that they should put him in compelling WWE Championship matches against comparable talent without a ton of bullshit weighing it down. I really don’t think WWE understands that sometimes you can just put two great wrestlers in the ring together and let them tell a pro wrestling story.
With Styles, he’s either stuck in feuds with guys who aren’t even close to his level (Baron Corbin, Jinder Mahal) or competing with people who are at his level, but the competition itself is based around ridiculous nonsense. Examples of this include “Y2AJ” with Chris Jericho, all those matches with Kevin Owens where he loses because his foot got caught in the announce table, all the matches with Owens built around how much we’re supposed to care about Shane McMahon or GM Daniel Bryan, or this current situation where we can’t just have Styles vs. Zayn, we have to have a handicap match for the championship prefaced by back-to-back actual matches involving the same people five days before it happens. Remember how good that Styles vs. Bálor match ended up being without ANY time or build? It’s because they’re both good wrestlers, and we like them, and we want to see good wrestlers wrestle each other sometimes.
I feel like maybe the alignments of these guys aren’t helping things, either. Smackdown opens with Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn doing their best to heel it up and build some hype comma intrigue for the Royal Rumble, but they’re Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn, so even at their worst, we still kinda want to cheer for them. Very similar to Styles, who can never seem to stay heel very long. The reason we’re in this handicap match situation is because Daniel Bryan injected himself into an argument, took boastful statements literally, and booked a match based on what he heard. The same thing happens here, with Owens and Zayn challenging Styles to take them on tonight in back-to-back non-title matches, Daniel Bryan overhearing it and making it so. Styes is upset, but he’s fine.
Shane McMahon is upset too, but he’s also fine, except for when he has to interject right before the matches happen and change the stipulations. So there’s this weird five-direction GM and talent feud happening where everyone’s kind of the face, everyone’s kind of the heel, and 100% of it would be better if someone would realize they’re doing this shit with AJ Styles, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn and Daniel Bryan. It’s one thing to do this with Jinder, the Singhs and Randy Orton.
The confusing decisions don’t stop there, as Styles DOES face Owens in a one-on-one match, and defeats him cleanly via submission in 70 seconds. Now, I asked social media to give me a good reason why this happened so I wouldn’t overreact and write a bunch of thick-ass paragraphs about how mad I am that the pretend fighting isn’t pretending correctly, and the best answers I got were, “Kevin Owens is hurt,” “it’s a way to write Owens out of the Royal Rumble match,” or “he tapped out quickly because it’s non-title and he didn’t care, and wanted to be okay for the Rumble match.”
To quickly address those:
- If Kevin Owens is hurt and you need him for the Royal Rumble, why book him at all? This isn’t real. You control what happens, to whom, when, and why. You could just not book the match if you can only trust it to go a minute-10 without someone getting hurt, especially five days before a pay-per-view.
- It didn’t write Owens out of the Rumble match. See this backstage fallout video that lasts 15 seconds, which is 1/5 as long as the Smackdown match.
- Given what we know about Kevin Owens, is he the type of guy who’d tap out clean to AJ Styles in 70 seconds because he doesn’t care about the match? This is the best excuse of the bunch, because sure, maybe he’s having a kayfabe bad day and is doing the in-ring version of an intentional count-out, but even with a sudden knee injury you’d think a guy this driven by pride and personal grudges would at least, I don’t know, try to fight out of the hold for a second. He’s practically tapping out before Styles has the move locked in.
Best: But Maybe This Is All For A Reason, Or, “Holy Shit, Did Sami Zayn Just Win With A Blue Thunder Bomb?”
The Zayn/Styles match is much better, as it is an actual wrestling match, but I’m more focused on what happens with Styles.
When he’s got the hold locked in on Owens, he refuses to let it go. Zayn attacks him for it, and the announce team (and the crowd) kinda plays it off like he’s an asshole for “jumping” Styles. Owens is being taken away with an injury during the Zayn/Styles match, but Styles makes a point to attack him AGAIN.
I think all of this (and all of the confusing motivations) can be paid off spectacularly if the hook is a massive double turn, pairing Styles with McMahon as a kind of “corporate champion” and allowing Owens, Zayn and Daniel Bryan to officially team up as the beloved underdogs trying to take them down. That makes a ton of sense, from Styles’ history of selling people out and turning on them for his own benefit to Shane’s megalomania, to Bryan’s longstanding beef with the McMahons and the trio’s shared indie darling history. What I’m worried about, I guess, is that the massive double turn happens, and WWE’s sensibilities are so fucked we’re asked to cheer for Styles and Shane over Bryan, Owens and Zayn. Because we’ve already spent too much time being asked to cheer for Shane McMahon over people who aren’t total kayfabe pieces of shit.
Oh, and yeah, Sami Zayn pins AJ Styles with a Blue Thunder Bomb. I’d give it a Worst for “Sami Zayn has pinned the WWE Champion,” especially this close to a title match at the Rumble, but hey, Sami won with his secondary move that never pins ANYONE, but somehow creates a believable near-fall anyway. It’s great. How much better of a finisher is a Helluva Kick followed by a Blue Thunder Bomb than a Helluva Kick by itself? It’s such a good combo. In a world where we’re never going to see Sami Zayn hit a top rope brainbuster, this is what he needs to be finishing people with. Huge improvement.
Overall, I guess let’s wait and see where it goes. I wish there were more examples of us waiting and seeing these stories go somewhere worth all the time and conversation we put into them.
Best: Chad Gable Fucking Rules
Doesn’t he?
Gable and Jey Uso get about eight minutes to preview the (predictably boss) 2-out-of-3 falls Tag Team Championship match that couldn’t not steal the show at the Royal Rumble, and the entire finishing sequence from Gable catching Uso mid-butt-smash and hossing him across the ring all the way through to the Chaos Theory was the best. I really hope there’s a future spot in the main event scene for little-ass Chad Gable and his infinity of pro wrestling talent.
Best/Worst: They’re Still Cheating With The “Out Of Nowhere”
Haha, apparently the hill I’ve chosen to die on is “it doesn’t count as FROM OUTTA NOWHERE if you just don’t aim the camera at a guy when he’s standing in the middle of the ring.” I complained about it a lot in situations like the NXT War Games, where they pulled in tight on the guys on top of the cage to try to make you think it was going to be a superplex from the top, then chose not to show you the other 10 guys or whatever crowded together in a huddle waiting to catch them. It’s a good move from a production standpoint, but a bad one from a “how wrestling matches work” point of view. If you’re live at the event, you can see the ring. I guess it helps the image of Nakamura just running headfirst into an RKO.
This is another one of those matches they booked without an ending, where they want to protect both guys, so they do this screwy finish instead of like, not booking the match and booking something else. Which is fine, because it’s pretty fun while it lasts, even though Nakamura’s absolutely also in that Styles spot of “why can’t he wrestle people we want to see him wrestle?” I know you want to put your less proven guys in there with in-ring aces to give them a chance to work and grow as performers, but you’re also turning Nakamura into “just another guy,” which is … almost admirable in how difficult it should be.
Anyway, I love that Randy Orton’s hair gets thicker and longer and darker every week. Dude’s gonna show up to WrestleMania looking like Princess Jasmine.
The Same Thing They Did On Raw
Also surprisingly good this week is Naomi vs. Liv Morgan, which only gets a couple of minutes, but is perfectly fine wrestling. They even do a pretty cool repeated-dodge spot where Naomi misses a clothesline, misses a bunch of high kicks and has to adjust based on Morgan’s expectations to connect with a strike. Not bad!
Liv desperately needs a clear character, or some kind of hook or angle to let us know what kind of wrestler she is. Right now she’s — conveniently enough — in that early NXT Alexa Bliss spot where she doesn’t really do anything, she just kinda dodges and does roll-ups, and she doesn’t really have a character besides her looks and mannerisms, and she doesn’t really have “moves.” Sometimes WWE brings people up and are like “be a WWE Superstar,” without taking a second to explain what kind of WWE Superstar they should be. There are lots of different types, guys!
The post-match stuff is straight from Raw, though, which you should be used to seeing by now. Smackdown books their women’s division by seeing what Raw does and changing it slightly. On Raw, the one women’s tag on the show turned into an impromptu battle royal. On Smackdown, the one women’s match on the show turns into an impromptu battle royal. I’m telling you, the women’s Royal Rumble should have the ring divided down the center, and the Smackdown women should be on one side mirroring whatever the Raw women are doing on the other.
Also Appearing On Smackdown
Continuing the theme of “pretty fun, but short, and of no real consequence” is the six-man tag teaming Bobby Roode with Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston (because Big E had a Mixed Match Challenge match up next) against Jinder Mahal and Rusev Day. You know Dolph Ziggler was sitting at home like, “aw man, Jinder took my spot again.” I say this knowing full well that Dolph might show up and win the Royal Rumble, but shut up.
It’s fine. Aiden English takes the pin, because Aiden English’s finisher in the WWE 2K games is “taking the pin.”
And that’s Smackdown. I wish I had more to say about it, but let’s hope the Royal Rumble really starts some shit creatively, and the build to WrestleMania Fleur-de-lis gives back the energy and urgency to Raw and Smackdown.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Week
Harry Longabaugh
Nakamura’s game plan is on a strictly knee to nose basis.
Blade_222
The main event scene of SmackDown itself is a wrestling match between excellent wrestling and horrible booking. Who will win?
Yep! is like Yes! And What! had a baby!
The Real Birdman
“Holiday flights. Hotels during Spring Break. Smackdown Live’s main event scene”
“What is overbooked?”
“Correct!”
AddMayne
“what like he’s gonna pin me with the blue thunder bomb?”
…
*It’s Always Sunny theme*
“AJ Styles gets pinned with a Blue Thunder Bomb”
LUNI_TUNZ
AUSTIN, COME BACK!
Ja Gi Kyung-Moon
Jinder: Just like old times, right, Rusev?
Rusev: Don’t talk to me. I’m popular now.
English: I’m here, too!
Baron Von Raschke
Shouldn’t they have done their practice Royal Rumble Match before the show started?
AshBlue
Liv looks like she’s dressed in stuff she scavenged off Enzo’s carcass.
Redshirt
I propose that Smackdown’s Best and Worst Report be called Yep and Nope Report.
That’s it for this week’s show. Thanks for reading.
As always, share the column on social media (if you don’t mind, because it helps us tremendously), and drop a comment in the comments section below to let us know what you thought about Smackdown. And hey, be here for the rest of the week for our predictions and coverage of NXT TakeOver: Philadelphia, the Royal Rumble, and what I assume they’re calling Raw 26 because they don’t know how anniversaries work.
