WWE Money in the Bank 2015 airs this Sunday, June 14, live on WWE Network. The show is headlined by the annual Money in the Bank briefcase match, as well as a John Cena vs. Kevin Owens rematch at a ladder match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. We’ll be here with an open discussion thread, results and a Best and Worst of Money in the Bank column, but before all that you need to know what we baselessly assume will happen.
Here’s your WWE Money in the Bank 2015 card:
1. Kickoff Match: R-Truth vs. King Barrett
2. John Cena vs. Kevin Owens
3. Money in the Bank ladder match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Neville vs. Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus vs. Kane
4. WWE Tag Team Championship Title Match: The New Day (Big E and Xavier Woods) (c) vs. The Prime Time Players (Darren Young and Titus O’Neil)
5. WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Ryback (c) vs. Big Show
6. WWE Divas Championship Match: Nikki Bella (c) vs. Paige
7. Ladder match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Seth Rollins (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
And now for the fourth time in just over a month, here are our predictions. As a reminder, these predictions are for entertainment purposes only. We are not industry insiders and are not claiming to be “right,” as we are wrong basically 100% of the time.
Kickoff Match: R-Truth vs. King Barrett
What Should Happen: R-Truth shows up in board shorts and sunglasses, riding a surfboard to the ring. King Barrett’s like OY WHAT’RE YOU DOING M8 and Truth goes, “you’re the king, but I’m a SERF!” Then he hits Barrett in the face with a surfboard and pins him. Truth maintains an illogical surfer gimmick going forward, and King Barrett disappears to Mereen for five seasons.
What Will Happen: The smart money’s on a Truth victory, because Connor the Crusher could’ve won a shootfight against King Barrett. Renee or Corey Graves or whoever will describe it as “unbelievable action,” and they totally won’t mean it.
Staff Predictions
Nate Birch – Are they actively trying to ward us away from the pre-show? Will a creepy Japanese girl crawl out of my TV if I watch this? I for one am not taking the risk. Oh, and King Barrett loses, because duh.
Jessica Hudnall – It’s King Barrett, of course he’s going to lose. At least it means R-Truth is supposed to be there.
Ashley Burns – Seems pretty lowly of a King to be headlining the pre-show. More like Jester Barrett to me. You can use that, WWE. Make Barrett come out dressed like one of those bongs that my friend’s older brother had when I was in high school. By the way, I knew that was tea leaves that you let us smoke, Justin. You’re not as cool as you think you are, bro. Anyway, Barrett wins but fails to capture our attention, as we’re busy making sure the Cheetos spread looks nice for company.
Austin Heiberg – Is Barrett’s wrestling impotence as of late a statement on the futility of monarchy? Either way, I feel like a stiff breeze could probably pin our prestigious 2015 King of the Ring right now, so I’ll take Truth here.
David D. – Not gonna lie…I thought King Barrett was in the Money In The Bank match. I’m guessing R-Truth gets killed in three minutes.
Danielle Matheson – Another PPV? Didn’t we just have a PPV? Didn’t I already write all of these predictions? Am I going crazy what is happening?? Uhhh…so this is a match that’s happening. I want to say Barrett because it’s the only thing that makes sense, but man that guy loses a lot. Eh, it’s the pre-show. R-Truth victories for everybody!
John Cena vs. Kevin Owens
What Should Happen: Honestly? The story should’ve ended with their first match. Cena’s been demanding that someone young and hungry show up, step up to him and prove they’re the better man. Owens was a jerk, but he stepped up to Cena’s challenge and pinned him clean, in the middle of the ring, 1-2-3. Instead of that being the end of the story (with Owens going back to NXT to lord his accomplishments over his multiple rivals and Cena still hanging on to the US title but realizing his own mortality, and a rematch happening a year or two from now when it would really matter), Cena says Owens isn’t a man (?) and we’re rematching.
The first match had a decisive ending, so what I’d like to see is a non-finish that gets Owens off the hook in the feud without a clean loss, and sends Cena off to feud with whichever big-time WWE guy he’s feuding with next. Like, have Cena about to do his Attitude Adjustment from the second rope and then FROM OUTTA NOWHERE Big Show or whoever runs down and punches him in the ribs. Cena wins by DQ and gets his win back without nerfing what made the first Owens match so special, he gets to go be John Cena somewhere and Owens can look like he was gonna lose without actually “losing.” Basically the Brock Lesnar followup match. Give Cena his jollies without ctrl+alt+deleting everything else.
What Will Happen: Cena’s gotta get his win back. Honestly, as mad as it’ll make us, Cena and Owens going 1-1 still means Owens beat Cena clean. That’s an accomplishment. The trick will be keeping Cena and Owens from going 1-3 like Cena and Bray or Cena and Rusev. Cena wins, and then (hopefully) we move on.
Staff Predictions
Nate Birch – They can never leave well enough alone, can they? Owens beating Cena once was in the realm of possibility, but twice? I’m pretty sure if you look at the record books, you’ll find every Cena loss is quickly avenged, or Cena just shrugs, pretends like he never wanted to win in the first place and nobody ever mentions the loss again. Maybe they’ll do something they’ve literally never done before for the sake of Kevin Owens, but I doubt it.
Jessica Hudnall – LET’S GO OWENS! OWENS FIGHTS! LET’S GO OWENS! OWENS FIGHTS! You got this, big Kev. Just remember to obliterate Cena early and continue doing that until a referee stops the match.
Ashley Burns – I’m going to pick Cena to win this because Owens has shown up, dazzled everyone, and injected some excitement into the WWE by feuding with and defeating the biggest star in the company. Obviously, it’s time to end that and let Cena win his next 100 matches.
Austin Heiberg – I’m going to make a blatantly incorrect prediction here and say that Owens will wipe the floor with Cena again. Why? Because Cena winning here isn’t interesting, obviously. Cena getting his win back against anybody is as constant and expected as the rising of the sun in the morning. But two defeats in a row? That’s not only the sun refusing to rise, that’s our whole planet getting flung out of orbit. Jarring and unexpected, but an interesting ride, to say the least. And it’s not going to happen.
David D. – I literally have zero clue what’s going to happen here. Convention says that Cena gets his win back because Cena. But I don’t think that Owens gets pinned so early. I think we get Cena getting a visual pin before KO hits him with a low blow, walks off and refuses to give Cena a rematch. It’s literally the only thing Owens can do to stay heel.
Danielle Matheson – Hahahahahaha like I even want to touch this one after the last time. Kevin Owens wasn’t expected to win, and my last prediction was because if an NXT worker is up, I want them to look strong and be taken seriously. Yes, even those precious baby goths The Ascension who are kind of terrible everywhere, bless their hearts. I’m still not invested in this in the way everyone else is, and that’s totally fine. History has taught us that this is where Owens starts losing, so I will go with that, but with the hope that the loss comes after a hard fight that doesn’t seem to weaken him, and holds future redemption.
Money in the Bank ladder match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Neville vs. Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus vs. Kane
What Should Happen: Kofi Kingston wins. Shocking, I know. Kofi should win to finally give him a shred of legit credibility after like a decade of service, and we continue the idea that The New Day has stumbled into a formula for success but has no idea how to handle or maintain it. Kofi trying over and over to cash in the briefcase with the help of his friends would be a great story, and the upcoming Kofi vs. Brock Lesnar match in Japan (!!) would have some gravitas. Brock vs. the guy holding the briefcase that cost him the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania. You could use that as a wrinkle in the Brock vs. Seth Rollins match that should happen, with Kofi and Xavier and Big E hanging around waiting to pull a Seth Rollins on them.
What Will Happen: Roman Reigns Is Going To WrestleMania! *fireworks*
Staff Predictions
Nate Birch – The blindingly obvious outcome is that Roman Reigns wins, because he’s Roman Reigns and everybody else in the match is played out chaff or not nearly ready yet. That said, noble, filled with fightin’ spirit Roman Reigns feels like a terrible fit for Mr. Money in the Bank. If this is their way to finally get the title on Reigns, it’s the worst way possible. That doesn’t mean I’m predicting anybody else, but ugh.
Jessica Hudnall – I really want Kofi to win just for the prospect of Freebird briefcase. I know that won’t happen, though, and that makes me kind of sad. I’m going to say that Randall Keith Orton wins.
Ashley Burns – By basic logic from a casual wrestling observer, Orton and Reigns can’t win the Money in the Bank because that’s just dumb. They’re already in every title conversation, so letting one of them have the briefcase would be redundant. What would make this fun and interesting would be to give the title shot to someone who isn’t typically in that conversation, because that’s how fun sh*t happens. I’ve always been a big Ziggler fan, so it would be great to see him win this one. That said, I can totally see Reigns winning and doing to Seth Rollins what he did to him… except on the very same night that he wins the briefcase.
Austin Heiberg – Reigns winning the briefcase seems like the straightest logical path to the Shield’s Wrestlemania encounter for the title, so I’ll pick him. Don’t think that I like it, though. Reigns is already way overpowered, so giving him Money in the Bank is like giving nuclear weapons to God.
David D. – I think the freshest angle is Kofi winning and New Day terrorizing for a year threatening to Freebird the briefcase. But that doesn’t happen. I’m actually going to go with Roman Reigns winning.
Danielle Matheson – Part of me wants it to be Kane just to see the complete and utter chaos that would Roman Reigns down, but Reigns makes the most sense? Yeah, I’ll say Reigns, but now in my heart I want it to be Kane because I want to look out over everything and watch the world burn. (he can help) (he has actual fire powers) (wrestling is real)
WWE Tag Team Championship Title Match: The New Day (Big E and Xavier Woods) (c) vs. The Prime Time Players (Darren Young and Titus O’Neil)
What Should Happen: As good as the Prime Time Players have been lately, they haven’t been that good, and they haven’t been it for long. We’re still riding a crest of New Day momentum, so they should retain her by nefarious means. Keep the Players chasing the titles, though, because if you’re gonna wear shirts saying you’re the rebirth of the tag division, you need to put in the structural work that actually rebuilds it. Give PTP mini-feuds against teams below or around them and actually build them up for a rematch later in the year instead of doing the regular WWE “now THESE teams have a match” thing.
What Will Happen: The same, I hope. The New Day at least need to have a t-shirt available on WWE Shop before they drop the straps.
Staff Predictions
Nate Birch – I don’t want anybody to lose here. Can’t Titus and Darren just join The New Day? Maybe Booker knows something about a five-man Freebird Rule.
Jessica Hudnall – Oh maaaaan, I like both of these teams. PTP have been great for so long, but New Day have really put in some amazing work as of late. DON’T MAKE ME CHOOSE, WITH SPANDEX! If they all can’t be friends and punch JBL in the eye for adding “shizzle” to everything, I’ll say New Day retains.
Ashley Burns – Titus O’Neil was one of the very few (and possibly the only) people who kept me sane while doing my stupidly thankless duty of covering Total Divas. He seems pretty cool and funny, so a little success would be nice for him. Also, I can’t stand New Day, so Titus winning would be a double win.
Austin Heiberg – PRIME TIME PLAYERS PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Titus and Darren are probably on their biggest ever wave of momentum right now, and if they just play this feud with The New Day fast and loose, it could be one of the most entertaining things happening right now. If they don’t win the titles, I will also settle for at least four (4) minutes of Titus O’Neil mic time every Monday night, on the topic of his choosing.
David D. – New Days continues their reigns of greatness, winning every match for the rest of human civilization.
Danielle Matheson – Man, this PPV isn’t even fun to make jokes about. Like, you read the matches and shout UHHH NEW DAY DUH and then you want to get it over with and move on and go read about dinosaurs or 19th Century street gangs or any of the other things I have open in other tabs staring at me, waiting to be paid attention to. *claps* DIP! LO-DOCUS! DIP! LO-DOCUS!
WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: Ryback (c) vs. Big Show
What Should Happen: The Miz worms his way into the match at the last second and wins, thanks to help from a returning Damien Mizdow. It turns out that Mizdow realized he was nothing without Miz, pledges his undying loyalty, and they move forward alternating as a tag team threat and a protection circle for Miz as IC Champion. Miz gets actual good wrestling matches to wrestle, is presented an environment in which he’s asked to “go” in addition to being a great personality, Sandow stops being Mandow for f*cking ever and Ryback/Show go do literally anything else.
What Will Happen: You know what? I’m gonna be optimistic. I think Ryback and Big Show realize that they’re in an expectation hole and they’ve blown their one spot — the Shell Shocked Ryback did on Monday for no reason — so they’re going to show up with their worker boots and pull off a miracle. This will be the surprise best match of the show, which Ryback will win in grand fashion to establish himself as a true champion and a real threat again.
Or, you know, it’ll be boring as sh*t and we’ll be checking our phones by the second strongman lockup. Ryback should win, though, because why should Show get the belt with this build? Or at all?
Staff Predictions
Nate Birch – I want Ryback to start doing his own open challenges but only have them answered by the Stan Stanskies and Arthur Rosenbergs of the world. BUT FIRST, can Ryback Shellshock Big Show for the win? Yes he can, because he does it every time they’re in the ring together. Moving on.
Jessica Hudnall – I wanna punch the concept of this match in the throat. I’ll say the Big Guy retains against the Big Show because that’s the least depressing outcome.
Ashley Burns – Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooly crap I don’t care about this match. I’ve seen roadkill with better charisma than what will be in the ring for this.
Austin Heiberg – I got The Ryback. By the way, everybody needs to be calling him “The Ryback” now. We have to treat him like Year One Batman. Whose side is he really on?
David D. – – Is there really a chance Big Show wins? This might be the most predictable card of all time. OF ALL TIME.
Danielle Matheson – Okay now they’re just f-cking with us. Ry…back? Sure? Okay yeah, Ryback.
WWE Divas Championship Match: Nikki Bella (c) vs. Paige
What Should Happen: Paige and Naomi should wear the same gear, and they should win using Twin Magic. THIS IS THEIR HOUSE!
What Will Happen: Nikki retains? I keep coming up with creative scenarios for title changes and character growth and the empowerment of the division, but the result is always “something happens and Nikki Bella wins.” Did she become John Cena during Cena’s U.S. Title run? Did they switch powers? IS talent sexually transmitted? I want Paige to win so we can move the hell away from all things Bella Storyline, but damn, how can I predict it?
Staff Predictions
Nate Birch – Nikki and/or Brie Bella vs. Paige is the Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston of 2015. I really don’t care about this one even though I’m fans of both women. I’m going to be extremely optimistic and say they have bigger plans for the end of Nikki’s reign than just tossing it to a zero-momentum Paige, so the champ retains.
Jessica Hudnall – Oh jeez, am I going to get pelted with rotten papayas if I say that I don’t really care about Paige any more? I’m taking Nikki Bella to completely enhossulate Paige and retain the title.
Ashley Burns – I won’t pretend to know anything about the NXT roster compared to the wrestling purists here, but hot buttered f*ck on a cracker, how the sh*t is this stupid feud still a thing? I don’t care who wins this because the lack of variety in the Divas division is just terrible, especially since Total Divas made them all unlikable heels in their own ways. Why should anyone still care about this belt, especially with the fun happening in NXT? Whatever. Paige wins, I guess.
Austin Heiberg – It’s a Paige vs. Nikki match. It’s always a Paige vs. Nikki match. There’s always a man, there’s always a lighthouse. We’ve always been at war with Eastasia. I’M SORRY DAVE, I’M AFRAID I CAN’T DO THAT.
David D. – Nikki Bella (c) vs. Paige – For the 14th month in a row, I’m predicting the Chixxus showing up from NXT, tearing up the ring and destroying everything. The pay-per-view ends 25 minutes in because Sasha Banks and Charlotte have destroyed the arena.
Danielle Matheson – Nikki Bella wins via Twin Magic, but with, I dunno, Cameron or something because nobody pays attention and they won’t let this be anything but a terrible retread of all the title matches before it. I spend every PPV hoping they’ll prove me wrong, but man…I’m tired. Don’t talk about change if you’re not going to change a damn thing.
Ladder match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Seth Rollins (c) vs. Dean Ambrose
What Should Happen: The Shield reunites and gets into a fight with the reunited Wyatt Family, only to join forces with them to battle the reunited Nexus. The tide is turned when John Cena turns heel. There, I think that’s every ridiculous fantasy booking suggestion I write into these things.
I think the best call to make right now would be to have Dean Ambrose win, fair and square, and to have Roman win Money in the Bank. Instead of Mr. Money in the Bank being a threat to the champion, they have Roman be Ambrose’s first line of defense. The idea being that if you DO get a shot at Ambrose and you beat him fairly, you have to immediately face Roman. They do their best to keep the belt in the family, and away from The Authority. Rollins tries to get it back, but Lesnar returns and gives him something to do for the summer. Lesnar would care more about the act of Rollins cashing in than the actual championship. Build back up to Rollins/Ambrose at WrestleMania, then Roman either cashes in and pulls a Seth, or he announces it beforehand with Ambrose’s blessing and WrestleMania 32 ends with the first actual Shield triple threat.
What Will Happen: Kane? I don’t know.
I’d like to see Ambrose win and actually accomplish something after his year of futility and ridiculousness, but it doesn’t seem like a certainty, so I have to say Rollins retains via something stupid. Maybe Rollins retains after a Hard Fart match and Reigns cashes in on him in the same night. Maybe Noble, Mercury and Ambrose hit Rollins with the Shield 2.1 Triple Powerbomb.
Staff Predictions
Nate Birch – I keep stubbornly picking Dean Ambrose, so what the heck, I’ll stick to my rusty, misfiring guns and pick him again. I mean, Brock is coming back soon, right? He needs somebody to murder that people actually care about. At this point him beating Seth Rollins would barely get most of the audience to glance up from their phones, so maybe Dean is getting sent to the slaughter.
Jessica Hudnall – Dean is familiar with the “hardcore” stylings of a ladder match, while Rollins probably does dips and muscle ups on the ring the belt is hanging from. I’ll take Rollins to retain since nobody can trust that Ambrose wouldn’t pawn the belt to buy fireworks.
Ashley Burns – As already stated, Reigns will win this match after he wins the briefcase and shows up to collect. (Unless I’ve got the matches out of order, in which case Rollins wins and Reigns does his thing on Raw.)
Austin Heiberg – I think Rollins will get the statement victory here, but I stand by my earlier remarks. At some point in this calendar year, I could see Dean actually winning the title. I just don’t think now is the time or place.
David D. – Okay, hear me out. I’m going to say that Ambrose wins. Then Reigns cashes in his newly-won briefcase and the Shield IMPLODES. Then we get a triple threat at Summerslam.
Danielle Matheson – I feel like someone somewhere suggested a Roman Reigns victory and a Dean Ambrose victory so that they could all face off against each other, and I kind of wish that were a real thing that came from my brain first. But oh well. You know this is gonna be baller no matter the outcome. That said, Brock Lesnar is still looming in the background, and he’s supposed to make his return on Raw, so…I want it to be Seth. I love Shield shenanigans, but Brock-Seth is the story that makes my arms feel all tingly on the inside. I want it give it to me that’s the thing I want!
