Rappers are a flamboyant bunch. They have all kinds of cool ways to talk about themselves, not the least of which is coming up with cool nicknames that have made them legendary. RZA has Bobby Digital. Jay has Hovah. Yelawolf has Catfish Billy. Sometimes, though, these nom de plumes sound better in rappers’ heads than in execution. Some monikers are just awkward if you imagine trying to say them out loud.
Here are 10 examples of names you shouldn’t call other guys…no matter how much they insist.
1. Lil Tunechi
The genesis of this story. DJ Drama recently called Wayne “Tunechi” and it sounded weird. It’s like what you would call a pet parakeet, not some grown ass (mini) man. The man has a teenage daughter for chrissakes.
2. Daddy Fat Sacks
Big Boi is a legend and our personal friend. But there’s no way in hell you should ever utter the sentence, “hey, I’m just on the phone with Fat Sacks.” Ever.
3. Freaky Zekey
Maybe you could slide by calling him “Zeek” or something. But leave “Freak” out of it. Please.
4. Nasty Nas
The only way “Nasty” should be used to describe another man is when used as an adjective to describe an athletic move. And it should never be followed by a proper noun. Otherwise, it doesn’t work. Don’t believe us? Try calling your co-worker “Nasty Ron.”
5. Boosie Boo
Lil Boosie is a complicated man. He’s a poet. A member of the Louisiana prison system. A proponent of ecstasy enemas. And a man of many names. One of those includes the word “Boo.” Unless that “Boo” ends with “Da Boss Playa” then the name isn’t getting uttered out loud.
Jeezy hasn’t used his more awkward nickname in a while and it’s not hard to understand why. Was Young MC Semen taken?
Drizzy sounds like a damn Pokemon character and should only be spoken if you’re going to follow it with “we still going to go frolic through the magnolia orchard before brunch and grab a froyo?”
What’s worse than calling a grown man “baby?” Calling Birdman a “rapper.”
9. J-A To The Muuwahhh
Muuwahh = a kiss. So we get the cleverness. But think about saying it out loud. You’re making a damn smooching sound. “Yo, where’s muuuwahhh at?”
10. Pretty Toney
We understand that Kappas live alternative lifestyles, but generally going around calling other people “pretty” to start your conversation is usually seen as weird. Ghost, though, probably reserves this name for the ladies. And we know how Ghost likes to treat his ladies.