Triple H was awesome from March 30, 1998, when he took over DX to May 21, 2001, when he tore his quadricep muscle in the middle of the ring. During that time, he went from a cutting edge babyface to the most vile heel in the business putting on classic matches with everyone from Mick Foley to The Rock.
Then something weird happened. Hunter married Vince McMahon’s daughter and became one of the most powerful men in the business. That never goes well. From that moment on his hand prints have been on some of the worst decisions in the history of wrestling, usually ending with him working hard to make himself look like the coolest guy on the roster. How does he make himself look like the coolest guy on the roster? By making everyone else look like total sh*t. Awesome business model.
Vince McMahon is in the twilight of his career as the head honcho of American wrestling. In his place, we’ll probably have to deal with HHH running things. Here are 10 reasons why that will be the worst thing imaginable. Let’s take a look at 10 of Triple H’s worst moments.
1. Katie Vick — Let’s set the stage: HHH and Kane were going to wrestle for the hundredth time – this time for HHH’s championship. So how do you keep a sh*tty match we’ve seen for years fresh? Well, just throw in a little rape angle with some good old-fashioned necrophilia. What you’re seeing is inarguably one of the worst angles in wrestling history.
2. Scott Steiner Pose Down — Men are strange creatures. We know we’re watching a bunch of sweaty guys in underwear play fight with each other for fun. Yet if you remind us of this fact and link it to the obvious homoeroticism then we call you all sorts of gay and anger bang a chick to prove a point. That’s probably why this waste of time pose down was such a bad idea.
3. The Randy Orton Burial — Leading up to WrestleMania 25, Randy Orton was the coolest heel in the company (despite spending a month getting beat up by Shane McMahon). He was just pure evil and his villain was HHH. So how do we capitalize on Orton’s built? Easy. Just have Hunter beat him in one of the worst WrestleMania main events ever and for the next three months in a row. Awesome.
By the way, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the two WM main events that got outshined the most by great undercard matches both featured Triple H: 18 vs. Jericho and 25 vs Orton. I think the fact fans didn’t care had as much to do with the shitty main events as it did the great matches that came before.
4. The Punk Burial — A year ago CM Punk became the most popular wrestler in the world after his SHOOT PROMO!!!! on RAW and beating John Cena in Chicago. How could you screw it up? Oh yeah, have HHH show up and ruin everything that we ever thought was fun and interesting. By the way, Punk has still never beaten HHH.
5. Triple H Is Totally Racist Part 1 — The DX invasion angle was cool. But this clip was just unadulterated racism. Glorious.
6. HHH Is Totally Racist Part 2 — Wrestling gets away with stuff that no other form of entertainment can. We can chant “USA!” and hate people from other countries because America, call Eve a Hoeski because John Cena kissed her, and we can laugh when R-Truth Sambos his way to the ring. But here’s how racism works and has worked from the beginning of time: rich white wrestler makes fun of Black guy because he’s Black and should shine shoes or something. White guys proceeds to beat up Black guy in racially demeaning ways. Then, Black guy gets his comeuppance and wins in the end. MLK smiles from heaven. All of this was supposed to happen going into WrestleMania 19 with HHH and THAT BOY RIGHT THEA WE COMIN’ FOR YOU N**** Booker T.
All was going swimmingly until HHH vetoed having Book win and beat Booker T in the middle of the ring. So the story then became this: White guy calls Black guy inferior and uneducated and incapable of winning the title. White guy beats up Black guy in demeaning racially insensitive ways. It was like Great White Hope with James Earl Jones’ monologues being replaced by Spinaroonis.