10 Halloween Tips For The Star Wars Obsessed

10.30.11 5 years ago 14 Comments

‘Round about Halloween, several television stations will begin to run Star Wars movies ad nauseum clear through the end of the year — oh glory of glories, thanks be to TNT. Little X-Wing fighter pilots and young Anakin Skywalkers will knock on our doors in droves tomorrow night, because there’s something about All Hallows’ Eve that brings the kid and The Force out in all of us. And so, my dear fellow Empire enthusiasts and New Hope nerds, here’s a bit of sage advice if you want to Jedi-master Halloween.

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1. Set A Budget

Nobody said you had to spend a lot of money on a cheap polyester costume at the Halloween City that sets up every year at that abandoned Kmart down the street. In the world of Star Wars nerd-dom, you’d be better off heading down to the tosche station to pick up some power converters, you know what I’m saying? Throw a green sleeping bag on those tree trunks you call legs and drool on some folks and everyone will know you’re Jabba the Hutt.

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2. Set A Smaller Budget

Look, times are tough. I don’t see any reason why a blue RubberMade trash bin – new or used – wouldn’t pass muster as a legit R2D2 costume. Especially if it’s labelled… Then folks will really know. Have your friends or your mom put you on a dolly and wheel you up to the door. You’ll win the sympathy vote at the very least, though you may end up with a sack full of Bit’o’Honey and candy corn. (Side note: consider poking holes in costume for air ventilation and breathing purposes.)

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3. Wear Your Costume To Work

Fifty percent of adults dress up for Halloween. Fif-tee. That means half of you should not be embarrassed to order your Venti skim sugar-free vanilla latte, rocking your Star Wars accouterments with flare.

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4. Get The Kids Involved

They may not have grown up really understanding the significance of Star Wars, but it’s never too early to get them started. Put the baby in the Yoda costume (because it’s so cute, isn’t it?!?) and tell him he doesn’t need a light saber like his older brothers because Yoda was — trust me — the best Jedi Knight fighter. Then give his older brothers light sabers, and put him in the middle.

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5. Get The Dog Involved.

Absolutely. Dressing up and disgracing your dog is a must on Halloween.

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6. Take A Pumpkin Carving Class.

Carving jack ‘o’ lanterns is easy. You give the pumpkin two eyes, a nose, a mouth, and a satellite dish wherein laser beams will spring forth from the corners to eradicate the entire planet of Alderaan. What? You can’t carve something as simple as a Death Star? Well then…

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7. Paint Your Jack ‘O’ Lantern.

Pop a couple of those bitty pumpkins into the sides of a bigger pumpkin and you’ve got Leia buns. She may not be the most fetching jane’o’lantern, but she’ll — at the very least — attract the attention of the twin pumpkin she didn’t know she was grown next to in the same pumpkin patch that you’ve painted to look like Luke Skywalker.

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8. Save A Trip To The Dentist.

Is your son or daughter getting a bit thick in the middle? Has his or her teeth begun to blacken? R2D2 for you, kid. This ingenious, arm-less costume will give the kid all the cardiovascular perks of running door to door to beg for candy, with none of the rewards. No arms? No bucket. No bucket? No candy.

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9. Ladies, You Don’t Have To Be Leia.

Last I heard, Halloween was the one night a year college co-eds could use the excuse that they’re “dressed in costume” to get away with a skanky outfit. Well, just because Leia is the only female in Star Wars doesn’t mean you have to dress in the golden bikini to meet that standard. Here’s your chance to be really creative; give us a scantily clad Admiral Ackbar. Show you really know your stuff in R2D-FIVE skintight latex. Or if you’ve got a brown hoodie, belt that thing off sans pants and call yourself a jawa.

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