As we all know, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a factual account of our 16th president’s secret life. Unearthed by Tim Burton and unleashed on the masses for educational purposes, the documentary lampooning as a summer blockbuster is a great way to have fun while soaking up some history. But, as grateful as we are that someone took the time to make such a masterpiece, we got a little impatient waiting for other directors to nut up and expose more truths.
The following 10 movie ideas are based on years of archeological research, and represent the very real lives of some very famous historical names. And, because everyone loves a good, fake movie poster, we added some visuals (extra large shoutout to Brother Burnsy for assisting with graphics). You’re welcome.
Producers, consider this free inspiration. All we ask is a “Special Thanks: Smoking Section” in the credits.
1. William Shakespeare: Mermaid Crooner
2. Ronald Reagan: Unicorn Slayer
3. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: Fish Tickler
4. John F. Kennedy: GorillaTaunter
5. George Washington: Zombie Puncher
6. George W. Bush: Corgi Conqueror
7. Frederick Douglass: Dinosaur Hunter
8. Cleopatra: Lion Wrangler
9. Barack Obama: Dog Whisperer