10 Other Historical Figures Who Deserve A Movie After Abe Lincoln

By: 06.20.12  •  13 Comments

As we all know, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a factual account of our 16th president’s secret life. Unearthed by Tim Burton and unleashed on the masses for educational purposes, the documentary lampooning as a summer blockbuster is a great way to have fun while soaking up some history. But, as grateful as we are that someone took the time to make such a masterpiece, we got a little impatient waiting for other directors to nut up and expose more truths.

The following 10 movie ideas are based on years of archeological research, and represent the very real lives of some very famous historical names. And, because everyone loves a good, fake movie poster, we added some visuals (extra large shoutout to Brother Burnsy for assisting with graphics). You’re welcome.

Producers, consider this free inspiration. All we ask is a “Special Thanks: Smoking Section” in the credits.

Page 2

1. William Shakespeare: Mermaid Crooner

Page 3

2. Ronald Reagan: Unicorn Slayer

Page 4

3. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: Fish Tickler

Page 5

4. John F. Kennedy: GorillaTaunter

Page 6

5. George Washington: Zombie Puncher

Page 7

6. George W. Bush: Corgi Conqueror

Page 8

7. Frederick Douglass: Dinosaur Hunter

Around The Web

Featured

How Learning To Play ‘Magic: The Gathering’ Changed My Life

When The Donald Trump Circus Comes To Your Small Town

25 Years Of ‘What About Bob?,’ An Ensemble Masterpiece Disguised As A Bill Murray Vehicle

‘Potato Chip’: The Behind-The-Scenes Story Of The Weirdest ‘SNL’ Sketch Ever

A Beginning Filmmaker’s Guide To Traveling The World Via Film Festivals

Sailing Across An Ocean Will Change Your Life — Here’s What To Know Before You Go

This 28-Year-Old Master Craftsman Has A Knack For Carving Out Works Of Art

By: 05.11.16

Meat Pies And Pubs: Experiencing The Insanity Of A Premier League Match

You’ll Tell Your Grandkids About Steph Curry’s Historic And Unforgettable Performance In Game 4

The Story Of Frybread — From Cheap Staple To Cultural Touchstone

A Fact-Soaked Odyssey Through Kentucky’s Bourbon Country

This Woman Is Fighting The Stigma Of Sex Work In America In Hopes Of Getting Her Child Back