With hustlers and hypebeasts being in a frenzy over the impending release of the Yeezy IIs this weekend, one chap just couldn’t be bothered with all the hoopla. So instead of wasting his valuable time and energy standing on line with everyone else, he dropped a bit over $90,000 on a
pinky swear pre-order. I highly doubt the transaction will go through, but stranger things have happened. However, if you were one of the other 80 bidders who lost out, here’s a list of crap you can still buy for $90,000.
1. Have A Best Night Ever!
A one night stay in the Royal Penthouse Suite at the President Wilson Hotel in Geneva, Switzerland for $65,000. And with the remaining $25,000 all the booze, hookers and coke your nostrils can handle!
Decorated in a contemporary style, with marble and hardwood floors, the suite has a gorgeous view through the bulletproof windows of the picturesque city of Geneva, Lake Geneva and Mont Blanc. The suite consists of four bedrooms, six bathrooms with mosaic marble floor, a cocktail lounge and a terrace. The living room has a billiards table, a library and a cocktail lounge with a view of the water fountain, and can accommodate around 40 guests. A large mahogany table can invite 26 guests in the dining room. The suite may be ideal for world leaders and celebrities visiting the United Nations, as its security is known to be the best in the world. [Expensive-World]
2. Treat Your Wifey
Let your lady know how much you love her with +/- 90 pairs of the often-talked about “Red Bottoms.” Christian Louboutin’s signature shoes retail anywhere from $500 to $5,000. And if you’re really feeling generous, throw in a cheap trench coat & clear your calendar!
3. Pay Off Your Student Loans
With $90,000 burning a hole in your pocket, pay off your student loans and officially break up with that thieving and conniving bitch Sallie Mae.
Can you imagine the amount of (carefully planned) tricking you can do with $90,000? Do it right and you can pretty much buy the self-worth of all your favorite urban models for at least a year.
5. Buy Gum
After hard dick, why not gift your jumpoffs with some bubble gum? And with 138,000 packs, you don’t ever have to worry about being stingy!
6. Smoke It All Away And Kill Yourself In The Process
Cigs your vice? With $90,000 laying around, you can cop 20,000 packs of cancer sticks. A lifetime’s worth but you wouldn’t make it through a tenth of that, what with lung cancer & everything.
7. Be Like
Sure you can buy 140 3-pks of those $635 Balmain plain white tees that Kanye be sporting but that’s not graduating from the Dame Dash School of Unnecessary Abundance. With $90k, cop 1,300 Hanes 3-pks and ensure that you NEVER wear the same white tee twice.
8. A Jetpack
Dude, a fucking jetpack!
Nonetheless, Martin Aircraft Company wants to change that with the Martin Jetpack, a $90,000 carbon fiber model that can generate 600 pounds of thrust. Wired reports that the jetpack is self-righting; you can let go of the controls and just hover.
The Martin Jetpack runs on gasoline, and burns through its five-gallon tank in about half an hour. It’s classified as an ultralight aircraft, so you don’t need a pilot’s license, although the company enforces its own training program.
Anyone who wants one faces a 12-month wait; to get on the list, you’ll need to put 10 percent down ($9,000). [PC Mag]
9. Treat Your Parent(s)
Your parent(s) more than likely put up with a lot of your bullshit over the years. So why not repay them by renting a villa in St. Croix for 6 months?
Located on a cliff on the East End of St. Croix, Villa Paradiso boasts one of the most spectacular ocean views on the island. Completed in 2011, this brand new home has spectacular, million dollar views that will delight even the most discerning traveler. The villa offers three separate living areas with their own terraces allowing couples to enjoy maximum privacy. There are breathtaking ocean views from each of the 3 bedrooms and private patios.
Tastefully decorated with interesting antiques, four poster beds and bright Caribbean colors, the home is a perfect retreat for two or three couples. The great room opens to the spacious terrace with open air dining and outdoor recliners. The knife edge saline pool blends with the ocean and the underwater benches are the perfect spot for sipping cocktails and watching the sunset. [Home Away]
10. Get Into Heaven
Did you know donating just $5 to the World Food Programme can feed a child in school for an entire month? No, I bet you didn’t! Earn a good chunk of heaven points by donating your $90,000 pocket change money to WFP and help feed 18,000 children.