My little brother is twelve.
Aside from being a little shit, he’s currently in the middle of that awkward stage of adolescence where deodorant and porn become essentials. His clothes can almost fit me. His voice cracks more than Kanye using Auto-Tune.
You know the age.
Anyways, upon arriving home from a weeklong excursion to Louisiana (Bourbon St…nuts), I stopped by my mom’s house to say hello. As I walked through the door, my know-it-all younger clone told me he’d found “the best song ever.” Then, he naively asked me if I’d “ever heard ‘Regulate’ by Warren G?”
“Do you know who you’re talking to?” I replied with much chagrin. “I am ‘Regulate.’ I grew up on that song.”
For the next minute or so, he gushed about how much he loved it and how the video was “hilarious.” Then, he said how his best friend doesn’t like it. The friend, who was standing right there…as always, replied by saying, “No, I don’t like it. It’s just …’Hit’em Up’ is so much better.”
After hearing the ignorance bleed through my eardrums, I realized these youngbloods have no idea what the hell they’re talking about. They try to be hip, by knowing songs that were popular over ten years ago, but end up sounding like Sarah Palin being asked about “The Bush Doctrine.”
“Uh…In what respect?”
See, I’ve tried to put my bro on game for years now. But between being away at college and moving out of the crib, I’ve just never had the time (or patience) to sit him down and soak his sponge. Now, he’s managed to completely sidestep my attempts and found a route slower than rush hour traffic on the Edens Expressway in the Chi.
In order to set him straight and get him above the level playing field, I’ve decided to give him a list of as many classic rap songs I can think of. Aside from a few standard tracks from Death Row, Chris Wallace and Jay, he’s the opposite of Bo. He doesn’t know shit. Anything’s game.
I’d really appreciate if my TSS fam would lend me a hand in assisting my brother to not sound like a retard. I’m starting the list below. I need you guys to help finish it.
Do or Die – “Po Pimp,” Above The Law – “Black Superman,” Too Short – Gettin’ It, Dayton Family – “Flint Town,” Common – “I Used To Love H.E.R.,” EPMD – “You Gots To Chill,” Westside Connection – “Bow Down”…
Thanks again. You’re saving him from an ass whoopin’ down the line.
Tony Tone Toni – The Revival
Tony Tone Toni – House of Music
Trap-A-Holics And DJ Rell Present Yo Gotti – Heroine Bars
Layzie Bone And A.K. Of Do or Die – Finally
Everlast – White Trash Beautiful
Everlasy – Whitey Ford Singes The Blues
Lords Of The Underground – Resurrection
Keith Sweat – Keep It Coming
Mac Dre Presents Mistah F.A.B – Son Of A Pimp
Naughty By Nature – Poverty’s Paradise
Coolio – My Soul
Mase – Harlem World