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Wire Tap: If Rappers Were Characters From The Wire

By / 02.10.09
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It's been a year and I still miss The Wire and all its characters. We said our final goodbyes in 2008 but recent endless viewings of the DVD box set had me feeling sentimental and inspired. It's the "Who would play me in a movie?" game further realized and repurposed, i.e. which rappers would play characters on The Wire? So, without further adieu...

Charles Hamilton as Duquan “Dukie” Weems -- These two have more of an uncanny physical resemblance than Blu and Bubbles. Besides their connection as look-alikes and being coincidentally homeless at different points in life, both are bright, yet can’t seem to get the formula quite right to move on to a higher level of success. Coincidentally, and both lived in the streets.

Nas as Avon Barksdale -- Okay, so maybe Nas isn’t really a hustler or a gangster. But he is an older figure who has seen more dominant days, finding his way in an environment that may/may not be suited to his tastes any longer. Oh, and he evolved as the opposite of…

Jay-Z as Stringer Bell -- The intelligent hustler. Does/did anyone so knee deep in their respective field have a more savvy business sense than these two?

Andre 3000 as Lester Freamon -- These wise vets are intensely cerebral while having a creative outlet that helps them make money while expressing themselves. Both have also expressed discontent or disinterest with the state of their environments.

Shyne as Wee-Bey -- Down to take a charge for their crews, maybe a little thick-skulled at times, but they know how to keep it real emotionally when the time presents itself. Plus, they’re both still in prison.

Papoose as D’Angelo Barksdale -- Both came out the gates with mountains of potential and a bright future. But a few rough patches and where are they now?

Lil’ Wayne as Bodie -- Both progressed from bouts of juvenile delinquancy to mature into effective salesmen. Bodie met a tragic ending after some rash decisions, perhaps the same fate awaits Wayne after his foray into rock?

The Game as Senator Clay Davis -- One second he’s your friend, the next he’s your enemy. They may be sly and even slimy with their beef preparation, but they know how to cook that shit up so it tastes good pause.

T.I. as Michael -- They both exude loads of talent and unspoken confidence, but have had some troubles with the wrong side of the law. Michael made it alive to the series end. Hopefully T.I. will too.

LL Cool J as Cutty -- Old veterans who used to be known for their hard-nosed antics, but have now evolved into harmless old men who come across as a little too (radio) friendly.

Rick Ross as Bunk -- Kinda chubby? Check. Present or past involvement in law enforcement? That’s a yes.

Da Brat as Snoop -- "How my hair look? You look good, girl."

Rakim as Cedric Daniels -- Ice cold, measured intensity that never strays far from stoicism.

MC Lyte as Kima -- A classy classic with a deep, impending voice. Lyte-as-a-rock made an easy transition from frontrunner of female emcees to color commentator of the genre, just as Kima went from Special Opps to Homicide.

Asher Roth as Jimmy McNulty -- White, perpetually drunk and perfectly okay with it.

Ice Cube as Bunny Colvin -- Both believe in their ideals passionately and were famous for defending them with some necessary bark. However, after growing older and more mature, they aren’t afraid to take on a role for the kids.

50 Cent as Marlo Stanfield -- Masters in exaggerated acts of self-promotion for the sake of their own names, these dudes are cold hearted, and not afraid to stoop to any level in their pursuit of power, typically at the embarrassment of their opponents.

Scarface as Prop Joe -- Street smart, well spoken and wise beyond their years, these two don’t favor getting caught up in everyone else’s obsession with beef. Joe tamed the hot-headed Avon and the ruthless Marlo into the co-op; Scarface somehow got both Nas and Jay to appear on The Fix. Take your pick of which is more impressive.

Killer Mike as Omar -- Both are killers, have high levels of respect in the trenches, and have a pronounced sense of street justice that is difficult to argue against.

D’Angelo as Bubbles -- We don’t want to retread the brilliant Blu/Bubbs mashup. Instead the role of soulful misfit who got tangled up in self-doubt and the vices of humanity is filled by the silky-bvoiced D’Angelo. Hopefully his ascent from his dark times mirrors Bubbs’.

Scott Storch as Ziggy -- Does this one even need an explanation?

Redman as Cheese Wagstaff -- Who else could you see standing on the corner, smoking blunts, giving random one-liners about midget pussy? Red = Meth = Cheese, FTW!

Bow Wow as Kenard -- Both demand respect from their peers. But unlike Kenard, the only thing Bow Wow is killing is Soulja Boy's career.

Cory Gunz as Randy Wagstaff -- Dad had a respectable name in the game. And the kid got lost somewhere along the way.

Eminem as Carcetti -- Came out swinging and shaking things up in a Black dominated world.

Khia as Delonda -- Eesh. For real. My neck and my back are killing me just thinking about being married to either.

Respect Our Fresh!

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TOPICS#Jay Z
TAGS50 CENTANDRE 3000asher rothbow wowCharles HamiltonCory GunzD'AngeloEDUTAINMENTEminemEVERYTHING ELSEHBOKhiakiller mikeLil WayneLISTSLL COOL JnasPAPOOSERakimRedmanreviewsRick RossSCARFACESCOTT STORCHShyneSMOKE BREAKT.I.the gameThe Wire
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