PUPPIES DRESSED AS CATS ON CONAN
FEDERER PROBABLY SUCKS ON CONCRETE

2 Little 2 Late

By / 08.28.09

A Tale of Two Mice

Ron Browz. Bow Wow.

Neither of these men really need that much introduction. It would be safe to say that as far as Hip-Hop heads are concerned, they both need more people. They have committed atrocities that have made us shake our heads time and time again. Well, it seems that they are sorry. And they want us to know this and understand why they did it. Before passing judgment, let’s hear what they have to say. First up, Ether Boy.

THE BALLAD OF RON BROWZ — “Tell It All”

Quote: “Besides Pain, couple niggas Auto-Tuning it/I’m like I’mma put my little two in it./Got the program and then I start doing it/ I love Hip-Hop. No intentions to ruin it.”

Synopsis: He starts off by saying that before we point at his fame and success and blame him for scavenging on Hip-Hop, we need to understand where he’s coming from. He used to be a good Hip-Hop producer, but then he went broke. He figured out that he could make money by selling his soul like every other Hip-Pop act before him. The industry was unkind to him, in great spite of his success, and this affected his relationship with Jim Jones. Also in accordance with Industry Rule #4080, his debut album got pushed back like Croat paparazzi (ironically, because of Jay-Z’s D.O.A movement). He finishes off by promoting his new track “Gimme 20 Dollars.”

Verdict: Not a new story, champ. Sorry. The industry pushing you to be a novelty act and then leaving your projects in suspended animation until they lose relevance, huh? That sounds entirely too familiar. That being said, we understand times are hard, bills have to be paid, and egos have to be pampered. Do your thing, by all means. However, do not act like you’re doing it for Hip-Hop dunny. If you’re going for pop tunes and club anthems, then assume the role fully and be prepared to be treated as such. Otherwise, show us a new trick, and get scorned ’till you perfect it.

THE BALLAD OF BOW WOW — “Regrets”

Quote: “I’m on BET acting a asshole/ Fighting with the interviewers. Why I do that fo’?/I can’t lie, I was drugged out/Sippin syrup, smoking weed, shit had me bugged out.”

Synopsis: Basically he’s pleading “I was young and dumb. Forgive me.” He explains his sense of loneliness and desolation and the subsequent regret-filled path to self-discovery that culminated in him claiming he was going to retire after that last brick he dropped.

Verdict: Awwwww. Shucks. Lil’ homie. It’s good to be a good person. It really is. In fact, we at The Section encourage everyone to be the best person they can be. Kinda like the Hip-Hop Army Reserves. But all that hippie, self-help bullshit aside. Good intentions does not equal good music. Yeah, we’re definitely less likely to hate you. And maybe your flow has stepped up a notch or two from the depths to which it had sunk. That being said, you still sound lame as shit. Take advantage of your new situation. Stay out of the spotlight. Stop being a character and start being a musician. You’ve got enough experience under your belt to do better than apologize and give excuses.

To both these fellas, the effort has been duly noted but cannot be more fully appreciated until the music backs it up. Now, go forth and be productive gents.


TAGSbow wowEtherBoyEVERYTHING ELSEMusicMUSIC VIDEOSRon BrowzSMOKE BREAKThe Transition to Shad Moss

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