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Police Don’t Have Balls & Jay-Z Still Hasn’t Spit A Triple Entendre

By 06.01.10

“That’s why they call me Hova/I’m far from being God — But I work godd@mn hard…” — Jay-Z

We know Jay. We know. While far from perfect, you managed to perform at a high level for such a long time. So much, that at times, it seemed you really could walk on water.  But those days are sadly behind us. Sure you manage to muster that good ‘ol magic from time to time Shawn, but on the flip side, you’re also liable for a mental snafu now and then. And if we’re going to shed light on the presumed ignorance that is Lil B, then we have to shed light on this triple entendre of yours Hov. Otherwise we’d be like Fox News and we can’t have that.

“OWww, hoes turn they heads like, OWls/I’m the man of the hOur/Triple entendre, don’t even ask me hOW”Drake Feat. Jay-Z – “Light Up”

We will ask you, good sir.

According to David “Mr. Masters in Journalism from Northwestern” D., after consulting his AP Style Guide or some other literary Bible: “they’re homophones and more so puns than double entendres.” I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it wasn’t a triple entendre (word to momma Z’s grammar work books she gave me every summer — which are still blank).

The thing about triple entendres are they don’t exist. I mean, they do in theory, but so do unicorns and pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. It’s pretty much impossible to find a phrase that will be universally understood to mean three things without a science fair poster board, preface and epilogue to visualize it all. In a quick Google search, this was the only halfway plausible example of a triple entendre & it’s still a stretch.

A woman is driving down the highway. The highway was originally in New York, but in the retellings I read both took place in Pennsylvania. The woman notices a police car behind her with his lights on and she starts to get nervous, planning what she will say when the officer pulls her over. The officer appoaches her vehicle and before he demands her license and registration, she chimes in, “I know! You pulled me over to invite me to the policeman’s ball!”

To which he replies, “I’m a state trooper, ma’am. We don’t have balls.”

Upon realizing what he has said, he clears his throat, tips his hat and walks back to his car.

Meaning One: Police don’t have balls and/or galas (pretty straightforward).

Meaning Two: Police hide behind their badge because they don’t have the cajones to command respect without it (I can see that).

Meaning Three: Police are less than virile (lost me there).

Nice try, but unless someone has another example, we’re gonna have to have nip this talk in the bud. Let’s just look at this like MJ’s six point game late in his career and move on. Sure it’s kind of embarrassing, but we’ll just have to take it in stride and accept the fact that things like this will happen in old age.

David D.’s aside:

Ironically, Jay is responsible for one of the most masterful double entendres on your radios right now, getting your uncles and aunts to sing about paying LeBron and Dwyane Wade with no idea that they’re talking about drug prices. That’s when Jay’s really being a monster with the double entendres, not drinking his own Kool-Aid and creating a fictional literary term.

But hey, I never learned how to move weight and Jay probably can’t diagram a sentence. We both have our shortcomings.


TOPICS#Jay Z
TAGSEDUTAINMENTSMOKE BREAK

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