They can actually keep the Nelly tracks and the other songs but the Empire State of Mind and Gold Digger…At a minimum warrant Max B numbers.
I honestly have never seen this show. Now, after this, I know I never will lol.
what the hell is glee?
i am either out of it, or mainstream isn’t as powerful as it used to be. i think it’s the latter.
this just made me vomit in my mouth.
I’m only here for the writing. The only musical an “urban” man should ever fuck with is School Daze. And that’s pushing it.
This show is so Unfortunate.
i hope that guy got dropped after his thong song performance.
people actually watch this show???
man i wanted to kill myself before the video was half over and it was only like a minute long
Meh, from the vids that you posted, the show does not seem as cacodemonic as you make it out to be. If nothing else, they’re just subpar. Very subpar, in a Kidz Bop sort of way.
The Gold Digger and Empire State of Mind covers are mind numbingly horrendous!
Holy Shit! The anger sharks are swimming
when i heard the e.s.o.m remix, i wanted to “pull [his] fuckin’ tongue out [his] fuckin’ mouth and stab that shit with a rusty screwdriver…blaaaaow!”
Hey, nice reference to Eminem’s Get You Mad on #4. I agree!
“For those that don’t know, Glee is the television show where 30-something year-old mediocre actors, mid-level wedding singers and clumsy dancers play a subpar high school glee club whose sole purpose is to turn every song you’ve ever loved into the audio equivalent of an anal fissure.”
*Pouty voice* B… But they make it so fun. :(
@ Joe-Em took that line from a skit Method Man and Raekwon did off Wu’s first joint.
“someone should put his nuts on a dresser – just the nutsack by itself – and bang them joints with a spiked bat.”
I believe this is a WU-Tang reference @Joe but still funny as hell none the less!
if i knew where to find these people…
i’d be recording mixtapes behind bars like Lil Wayne…
Friggin hate this show and all the high school musical/twilight brigade. It is worrying that so many people of my generation are hooked on this kind of shit.
I’ll fuckin…I’ll fukin sew [insert producer of Glee’s name] asshole closed, and keep feedin? [him/her] and feedin [him/her], and feedin [him/her], and feedin [him/her]! M.E.T.H.O.D. MAAAN! Str8 torture motha fuckah! *Chappelle Voice*
^^^^^^^^ *Sorry about the typos
They should just call it “Gay” instead of Glee.
It is why I have to say a verse or freestyle to prove I am not one of “those” white rappers when I tell someone I rap.
This show, the kardashians, and jersey shore. The terrorists have indeed won.
The one where the pregnant white girl did “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” was a simultaneous rape on my corneas and eardrums.
DEAD @ “buh auull buh hoo’ fuh-effa.”
Kee-rist, kid, is that really what Jay-Z sounds like to the rest of the world?
dame dash dance in goldigger?
Gasp! You’re all haters! All of you! Glee > life
My girl’s two favorite shows are this and the Kardashian nonsense. At least the Kardashians (well, two out of three at minimum) are smashable. This is complete toilet water. Televised equivalent of a simultaneous lobotomy and enema. Just teeth-grindingly horrible shit.
dave….this is a good post….but…you know…the only way you could possibly know about these is by watching the show.
ill catch some stupid shit here n there, but this show is gay as fuck.
good post tho!
Glee allows old folks, like myself, to revisit a time in our lives where remaking popular songs was “cool”. As a former chorus student- back in the 80s up until 1990- I can appreciate the effort put into performing the songs. Leave us Gleeks alone!!! Anything is better than reality t.v.!!!
I fux wit glee. Yea I said it what. No different from Kanye sampling daft punk. Or wayne wanting to do rock. You think the rock niggas aint lookin at wayne goin’ “this is what rock n roll has come too”.
Just came back to say yes the show is indeed gay but I just fastforward to the singing an you should be skr8.
I’m so glad I’m not the only person who doesn’t get this show. I checked one time to see what the buzz was about and it was horrible. I never knew they wuz killin joints like these though. Empire state? really?
They actually have writer’s for this ish. I’d take a double dose reality tv over this garbage any day
The fact that you had to actually listen to these songs in order to find the top five truly shows your dedication to your craft. I laughed, I cried, I envied your phrasing, I shamefully admitted that I have seen a few episodes, I ate a cupcake. HILARIOUS article though, I loved it!
while I definitely agree with the premise of this post (Glee sucks), I think 1. you’re trying way too hard to be funny 2. it’s also a bit of a reach to critique these performances for trying to be “Black”–the musical numbers are ALWAYS “character” performances where the performers (like in a lot of musicals) embellish their actions/characteristics/mannerisms as part of the “sell” of the song. I mean hell; I go to the clubs and stuff all the time and see guys–black, white, whatever–thugging out on hip-hop songs like everyone of them has been a page torn out of their diary.
What I DO think is fair critique of this show is that it’s a re-tread of every Saved By the Bell, 90210, Dawson’s Creek teen bit that’s come before it–it doesn’t do anything remotely or wildly new aside from the music (and shit, even SBTB had the episode where Kelly, Jessie and Lisa recorded songs), but does a lot of old/familiar things really well, like ultimately legitimize the roles of the main white leads, while marginalizing the roles of the minority characters to one-off subplots and one-liners.
Don’t get me wrong–the music usually IS bad, way too sing-songy for my tastes and paint-by-the-numbers bland, I just think some of your criticisms/jokes (nearly EVERY show has people that are older than their role age) are about as original as, well, Glee.
“Anal fissures”, “Madonna impersonators”, “reincarnation”, & spiked nuts…Yep, that’s sounds like Glee!
the lead girl with the full lips can get it, that is all.
lol, ‘the terrorists have won’
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Wow thx for sharing I new I was right for never watching this show even tho old girl is hella funny from the 40 yr old virgin and Christopher Guest movies. Whoever thinks this is Ok I feel sorry for you. They call it disrespecting the oldie’s and this show has made a fortune from it. What GARBAGE!
I watch Glee and I don’t give a fuck because for all the corny jokes and gay shit me and my wife laugh. Disenfranchised/Outcast white people are wildly ironic but wildly humorous at the same time
All Yall missing the bigger Picture. Hip-Hop artists should want their songs on Glee because Glee sells Records which means publishing royalties for the artists. Glee is a top-rated show so that means even more exposure for the artists to people most of whom probably would not hear these songs otherwise.
Y’all tell me the last time Young MC sold a record . . . . .
don’t I’ll wait
This “show” is so gay, my asshole hurts.
bringing back bad memories eh?
this is funny and should be seen that way. imation is the best form of flatery and this is it at its best. Stop being so closed minded and try something new and stop bitching about who they are hurting rap. If the artist didn’t want there songs ther show then they would not have relased them. They are making money and getting new fans!!!!!!
How is this crap any different then the complete destruction of Opera by the several “HipHop-eras” made by Black People, or Jay-Z chopping and crapping on classic Broadway music into his Rap songs? … its all in the eye of the beholder people, stop bitching, don’t watch it