Attacker — Isiah Thomas
Victim — Larry Bird
Offense — Isiah Thomas, former coach of the New York Knicks, also played basketball a couple of decades ago. During his basketball days, he and his Pistons were the punching bag of choice for Larry Bird and his Celtics. After the Celts eliminated Thomas and his Bad Boys from the 1987 playoffs, the point guard went all reverse racist-y on us and said that Larry Bird was “meh” and only considered great because he’s white. We disagree: he’s great because he stole a horrible inbounds pass during the playoffs, homie. Don’t worry, though. Bird got his revenge later when he took over the Pacers and promptly fired Thomas from his head coaching position.
Attacker — Scottie Pippen
Victim — Karl Malone
Offense — Game 1. NBA Finals. 1997. Karl Malone is at the free throw line with a chance to put the Jazz out of reach. Pippen strolls up to the free throw line and says “Remember, the mailman doesn’t deliver on Sunday.” Malone, the reigning and undeserving MVP, missed his free throws, allowing Jordan to go to the other side of the court and drain a game winner. We’re not sure if it was Pippen’s trash talking or God smiting Malone for being a douche of a dad that actually made him miss. Whatever it was, the clank is legendary.