The 2011 BET Hip-Hop Awards happened last night but nobody cared. Rappers, chains and shoutouts pretty much sum up what we can assume happened without even putting ourselves through the torture. The prime reason anyone tunes into the show is to catch the cyphers and, thankfully, the Internet makes it so we can catch those without ever having subjecting ourselves to the rest of f*ckery. So here are the high points of the awards show, the cyphers, broken down even further into the highs and lows of each one. Thank us later.
Shady 2.0 (Eminem, Yelawolf & Slaughterhouse)
1. Sweet and Sour Baby Jesus. This was the best thing to happen to BET since they brought back The Game and we thought it wouldn’t suck.
2. As someone that’s been a fan of Yela for a while now, it never gets old to see him next to Eminem.
3. It’s virtually impossible to determine who had the best outing out of the first five rappers. They each turned in verses that would have murdered just about every other rapper’s cypher on the show.
4. Slight edge goes to “you might as well do the Jada and leave a Will” from Crooked I for line of the cypher.
5. Yes, Eminem still has it. The look on Joell’s face as Em dives into that last onslaught is priceless.
Joe isn’t doing a good job of making anyone feel sympathy for him about the whole Esther Baxter situation. I’ve lost tons of respect for him for the way he’s handled it and posing by Royce while he drops punchlines about it didn’t help. That’s just me, though. Feel free to feel however you want to about it.
Bonus: The Shady cypher was so strong, we want to share the audio so you can save it for future reference. Click here to download the mp3 version.
Big K.R.I.T., Tech N9ne, Machine Gun Kelly, Kendrick Lamar & B.o.B
1. Obviously K.R.I.T. didn’t get the memo that cyphers were for frivolous sh*ttalking as he dropped some absolute gems about home cooked meals and death. Those were album quality bars.
2. Kendrick Lamar made it look so easy. No, it wasn’t his hardest verse ever but it was still full of memorable lines.
3. B.o.B. just keeps getting better. From No Genre to now, he’s been on a quiet, but unbelievable streak. And his line about Martha Stewart? Brilliant.
Machine Gun Kelly. You’re not happening. #Hurtswhenlisten
Reek Da Villain, 2 Chainz, Busta Rhymes & Ludacris
1. That’s the Busta Rhymes we know and love. I don’t mind the quick flow used sparingly, but he kind of jumped the shark with the “I be killin and I be illin and I be chillin” stuff he’s been doing. But the charismatic, funny, clever Busta is what brought him to the dance. Let’s get more of that.
2. Luda is Mr. Consistent. He was made for outings like this.
If you wanted a visual example of the difference between a star and a good rapper, look at this video. 2Chainz and Reek did a decent job but Busta and Luda’s charisma sent their verses over the top.
Lady of Rage, Blind Fury, Dom Kennedy & Skillz
Maybach Music Group’s Wale, Pill, Stalley, Meek Mill & Rick Ross
1. Drinking game: take a shot every time Rick Ross lifts his hands over his head like he’s trying not to foul someone.
2. I’m so incredibly intrigued by Stalley’s inclusion in MMG. He seems out of place but fits in whenever he drops music with them. His verse was spectacular, but you should have already known that. Please tell me you’re not still sleeping on ITM.
3. Shots fired from Pill? Regardless, he continues to wreck shop and the cypher was no different.
4. Again, charisma wins out and Rick has it in spades.
Something about Wale just isn’t connecting like it should. Word is, his album is great, but he’s like Ochocinco with the Patriots. You know there’s talent but the connection isn’t happening.
Nitty Scott, Lecrae, Sporano & Estelle
Nitty Scott is pretty decent. She started off slow, but got her footing and offered a solid few bars.
*Yawn* The new generation one is generally skippable and this is no exception.
Ace Hood, Kevin McCall, Tyga & Chris Brown
Are you f*cking kidding me?
1. Chris Brown rapping about “probation” like he’s hardcore is a crock of sh*t especially when that probation came from beating up a chick.
2. Is Chris Brown a decent rapper? Not at all. Putting him with an all-star cast of fellow sh*tty rappers only made him seem less sh*tty. But it’s still one big fecal freestyle after another.
3. This reminds me of those AAU tournaments and the good teams would have to sit in the gym while the younger and worse teams would have to play each other. Shady 2.0 had their warmups on watching and laughing at these scrubs. This is three minutes of Mediocrity 101. And there are more albums sold in this cypher than the one with K.R.I.T., Kendrick and B.o.B. Think about that and enjoy your day.