Did you know Johnny Storm and Steve Rogers were the same person? Yeah, me neither. But little things like cognition never stopped the folks over at Marvel from hammering out a movie. If Spider-Man’s tattered battle dress wasn’t enough to get your eyes rolling, how about a paper-mâché uniform for the legendary Captain America? Yeah, how about that. Marvel says its crappy design is intentional because “you couldn’t take him seriously in his flag pajamas,” according to director Joe Johnston.
So with that, we should take it that invulnerable pajama jeans are much more appropriate for an outdated franchise that needs an incredible first silver screen impression just to be accepted in general conversation. Maybe the suit is fire-proof in the case Cap feels the need to “flame on” or maybe his shield is made of Styrofoam. In any instance, the WWII premise isn’t exactly a big drawl for all the kiddies too accustomed to associating warfare with desert sands and Arabic-speaking terrorists as they pile up hours on Call Of Duty on the console of their choice.
America, we deserve better! Captain America: The First Avenger just wants to be your midsummer’s night dream, snatch your $11 for the 3D fee and have you yawning over the previous two hours as you scrape popcorn kernels from your back molars.
And he shall not be avenged for a sequel!