Usually our crack sports team handles game previews and recaps but I imagine that Tins is somewhere in a dark room questioning life’s meaning and the rest of them don’t fire up their keyboards until a little later. So, dear reader, that leaves you and me to dissect what we witnessed last night as the Mavericks ascended to the top of the NBA mountaintop, defeating the Miami Heat 105-95 in Game 6.
No objectivity or in depth analysis either. Just a handful of eight random thoughts to cap off the season. It’s all we have from now until football season begins…hopefully.
1. How odd is it that Miami’s loss and Mark Cuban’s antics are larger stories than the Mavericks actually winning? — In case you missed it, Cuban cursed on air, rented out the uber-expensive Club Liv in Miami, pre-ordered a reported 250 bottles of bubbly as well as Lil Jon-styled goblets for the team to drink from and partied it up. Then, he went home in the wee hours of the morning…to sleep with the championship trophy. Sounds like something we would all do, right?
Yeah, except none of us are team owners who should show a level of decorum. Without a doubt, I would probably be more than happy that Dallas won if Cuban wasn’t associated with the team. Grade-A, spoiled asshole. Stay classy, Mark.
Sidebar: I’m not shocked that Birdman and Weezy were partying with the Mavs. Weezy previously said the Heat didn’t revere him enough or did we forget that? As someone on Twitter said, they’re “bandwagon Bloods” and known shiesters. We’ve forewarned you, Carter IV producers, beware of lack of payments for sure now that Birdman lost his big bet.
2. Dan Gilbert sounds more and more like an old bitter bitch — While Cuban stayed quiet until the series was over, Gilbert waved his blue and white pom-poms throughout like he had money on the games and was elated last night. After the game, he gave the Mavs a quick handjob and took more slick shots at LeBron. Dan, your franchise is still in shambles. Redirect your attention to your investment.
3. Speaking of foot in mouth-in-mouth syndrome — LBJ’s postgame press conference may have been accurate and, quite frankly, honest. We do live pretty shitty lives filled “with personal problems” on a daily basis and immerse ourselves in sport. Yet, LeBron could have easily taken all of his riches and personal joys to ride the high road instead of directing a low blow at fans and detractors. Maybe it’s an Ohio thing.
I like the guy, but Bron Bron still has a bit of maturing to do and, at the young old age of 26, he hasn’t turned that corner yet. Kobe had to do it. MJ had to learn to make his teammates better instead of berating them. LeBron, talk less, learn more.
4. Chris Bosh cried and that’s okay — After an emotionally and mentally draining series and season, odds are the forward was anguished. As kids, we all may have cried on the field or court after a defeat. It happens. If you haven’t cried at least once after losing, it’s probably because you rode the bench and were ready to turn your jersey as soon as the buzzer sounded.
That said, as a grown ass man, I don’t foresee myself crying in public unless one of my immediate family croaks or suffers a life-altering injury. Any lesser circumstances and witnesses to my tear-shedding must be killed immediately afterward. Buddy cried like he caught the Holy Ghost or a sniper picked off his cherished dog. A few tears, maybe. All out emotional, weak-kneed crying? No sir.
5. Could Dirk be any more of an unassuming MVP? — Did anyone else notice him sprint off the court immediately following the buzzer, much like he did in the Western Conference Finals as well. Before the season, I remember watching (or maybe reading) and interview with the self-proclaimed “Tall Baller from the G” where he shared that the scandal with that weird broad really opened his eyes to how harsh the media and the world-at-large can be. Once fun-loving and carefree, he basically spoke on how it shifted his focus and his game showcased such. Throughout the series, I can’t recall ever thinking “Oh, Dirk’s soft” or “He’s shying away from big shots again” as I surmised when watching him in previous years. Hate the Mavs. Love the Heat. Do whatever, but let’s give Dirk the credit due for playing lights out ball all postseason.
6. Does anyone else see shades of Chuck Person in DeShawn Stevenson? No, by no means can the guy shoot like “The Rifleman” but he’s one irritating sonofabitch…who made several big shots and popped big shit along the way.
Yeah, I could’ve said Reggie Miller but Reggie was all yap. Between his former Pacer teammate Chuck and the Mavs’ DeShawn, there exists a threat of real violence seething underneath their jerseys. I fully expected Stevenson to pull a straight razor out of his waistband and slice Chalmers last night.
7. Criticize the players as much as you like but Erik Spoelstra needs to shoulder the load — His team’s continuous fourth quarter collapses were inexcusable. No, he didn’t take any shots but he didn’t mentally prepare his squad or appear to have given them the game plan to thwart Dallas’ late-game onslaughts throughout the series. We won’t even get into how the Mavs zone made the Heat look like the Cavs.
8. Let’s cap this off by talking the Heat — They’re the bigger story, remember? I have to give David D. full credit for this next bit of wisdom.
“Heat = Mike Tyson. they look so dominant when they overmatch their opponents. Pure power and skill will get you so far…but when faced with someone with mechanics, all of that shit goes out the window. Spoelstra not being able to figure out how to get his team to work together down the stretch is like Tyson’s corner using ice in a plastic glove to ice Mike’s eye.”
Miami will win, once they get a few more pieces in place. Don’t think for a minute that three guys can beat five. Pat Riley, might I suggest seeking out a point guard. JJ Barea made Bibby look as old as he actually is and he had Eddie House backpedaling an awful goddamn lot too.
Now, go ahead and watch the NBA’s Top 5 plays from Sunday and then bicker in the comments.