Depending on your location, the breakfast food hierarchy goes something like this:
2. Bob Evan’s/IHOP/Waffle House/Cracker Barrel
3. Tim Horton’s/Dunkin’ Donuts/*Insert another generic coffee-and-pastry chain restaurant here*
Unfortunately, Taco Bell isn’t even a choice in this discussion since it ends its service late night (or very early morning, if you’re a glass-half-full kind of person). However, a segment of the Western population can now hit the Bell’s drive-thru starting at 8 a.m. for delectable low-quality grub.
Ladies and gentlemen, Taco Bell is debuting a breakfast menu.
The popular chain restaurant will offer four different kinds of breakfast burritos, hashbrowns and, for lack of a better term, an “interesting” flying saucer-shaped breakfast melt. Some, including the San Francisco Chronicle’s Mark Morford, are already frantically waving the red flags (“oh my God, please do not eat this”), but food critics shouldn’t throw in the towel yet. The restaurant just hasn’t figured out that its best opportunity is moving up its breakfast menu’s start time.
Since many fast-food chains don’t begin their breakfast menus until 6 a.m., why not beat the competition to the punch by offering breakfast starting at 3 a.m. or 4? Market these early opening times at Taco Bells near college campuses and it won’t matter if those burritos are stuffed with Soul Glo and wasabi (which we can neither confirm or deny). Kids will be craving that thing that looks like a crushed cicada either way.
Your move, Taco Bell. Tim Horton’s begging to be usurped from that number-three spot.