9. Synchronized “Dancing”
This is the one sport we’d like to add that’s almost a guaranteed win for Team USA. Not only do we have our suggested participants, the Twerk Team, practicing regularly on Thursdays, but our high & mighty basketball team would surely come out to support this squad of ass-clapping saints. However, if the Twerk Team did get involved, the 100,000 Olympic condoms the committee stocked a few years back in Vancouver would definitely have to be doubled.