Justin Bieber is a subject that 99% of TSS’ audience will gloss over (the other assumed 1% probably like him ironically). A recent GQ profile on the Canadian teeny-bopper star will probably get the side-eye treatment from that same demographic, but don’t roll those eyes so quickly. The Conde-Nast publication enlisted frequent contributor and KSK scribe Drew Magary to tail Bieber for the day and the results from the encounter are sh*t-your-pants hilarious.
There’s plenty to grok from the piece with quotables for days. Among the three best snippets of Bieber dialogue are the following:
— “So much so that he has decided to pledge his loyalty to West Coast Customs forever and to decry its rival, Platinum Motorsport. ‘F*ck Platinum,’ he says. ‘Platinum can suck a d*ck, man. West Coast all day.'”
— “‘I’m 18 years old and I’m a swaggy adult!’ he yells. ‘Come on, swaggy bros!'”
— “It’s almost midnight, and Bieber is going home now. But before he leaves, he pokes his head into the break room to yell, ‘GOOD NIGHT, B*TCHES!'”
What’s best about Magary’s story isn’t the actual premise (make a man out of Bieber), but the insight it provides into the young star’s persona. He still doesn’t make music for anyone over the age of 18, but the aforementioned quotes show that he isn’t the purified Disney-esque star many perceive him to be. That shouldn’t be surprising. However, in these moments, he’s less of Tins’ branded demi-god LeBron and more of an actual young adult – one who says stupid sh*t and probably does equally stupid sh*t.
Which is a good face to put on an ultra-insulated teen celebrity. Bieber can’t be all rainbow sprinkles and “baby, baby, baby” hooks forever. As Magary puts it, Bieber wants to be a real artist who wants real respect. Evolution isn’t guaranteed, but shedding the teeny-bopper label goes a long way. Justin Timberlake would agree.