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7.3 The Cooler

Joe Johnson’s Going To The Brooklyn Nets, Dwight Howard Isn’t. Ever.

By 07.02.12

Well, this was unexpected. The Brooklyn Nets have all but abandoned its pursuit of Dwight Howard by working a trade that will bring Joe Johnson’s enormous contract. In the deal, the Atlanta Hawks get Jordan Williams, Johan Petro, Jordan Farmar, Anthony Morrow, Deshawn Stevenson and draft picks. The Brooklyn Nets get Joe Johnson. Lots to react to here, so let’s get to it.

– The Nets, of course, wanted Dwight Howard but they still end up with a nice starting going forward as they didn’t really have to give up any integral pieces. Instead they have a solid first team with Brooke Lopez, Deron Williams, Joe Johnson and Gerald Wallace. They’re not instant contenders, but they’re building something. That is, of course, if Joe Johnson lives up to his salary. Which leads me to point #2.

– Joe Johnson probably won’t live up to his salary. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Joe Johnson and Carlos Boozer owe enormous portions of their salaries to LeBron and Bosh as they capitalized on the free agency mania of 2010 and got max deals that they in no way deserved. Joe Johnson underperformed in Atlanta and if he does the same in Brooklyn, the NY media will direct all of those pitchforks aimed at Carmelo to JJ. Johnson is about to be under more scrutiny than he’s ever seen. We’ll see how he reacts.

– It’s also hard to understand what Deron Williams is thinking. By okaying the trade, he effectively agrees to come back to the Nets even though the Mavericks seem like the better move. The best move? Come to the Hornets and join the Light-skinned Fab Five. With all these players making crappy personnel decisions with their own careers, doesn’t it make sense why so many former athletes make such crappy general managers?

– Everyone join me in congratulating Dwight Howard: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Wait. Let me catch my breath. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! Dwight Howard has spent the last year acting like everything old White people say Black athletes act like. Spoiled. Entitled. Cowardly. And like a big, simple dumb Frankenstein. Howard has single-handedly torpedoed so much of his career. He renewed his contract with Orlando to avoid the Lakers, which killed his chances of going to New Jersey last year. And he tried to b*tch and bully his way out of Orlando so much that they refused to deal him to Brooklyn almost totally out of spite.

While Brooklyn could have waited a year to get Dwight, they also have a marquee point guard that probably doesn’t want to waste another year waiting for a center that hasn’t shown the winning attitude that would take the team to the championship anyway. So now Howard is either stuck going to a Lakers team he wanted no part of or a Rockets squad, all the while making LeBron’s “Decision” look like the “I Have A Dream Speech.” I can’t even fathom how much of a d*ck you have to be to have the New Jersey Nets pass up on your theatrics?! Where was I? Oh, right. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!

– You ever buy something then as soon as you get to your car with it you wonder “why in the hell did I buy that?” You could see that look on the Hawks’ management as soon as Johnson signed his contract. Now they get that big money off the books along with a couple of their new pickups that’ll be out of the league in a couple of years. The Hawks weren’t going to win the East any time soon, so they’ll be regrouping. I expect Josh Smith to be moved, too. Atlanta will have to give away season tickets with Chik-Fil-A sandwiches to get 100 people in the Phillips arena for home games this season.

– Speaking of Hawks personnel moves, Danny Ferry’s starting his new gig guns-a-blazing. On the same day the Joe Johnson era in Hotlanta ended, so did the Marvin Williams era. The same Marvin Williams they chose over Chris Paul and Deron Williams in 2005. Marv is heading to Utah in exchange for Devin Harris for those keeping track at home.

– The frontrunner for the Howard sweepstakes has to be Houston at this point. They were able to get rid of some cap space to get Dwight. And despite the fact he didn’t want to play in Hakeem’s shadow (*cough*punk ass *cough*) Dwight might find himself playing well with what they have in Houston.

– Dark horse candidate to get Dwight? Dallas. It looks like they’ll lose out on Deron so they’ll have space for Howard. Sending him there gives them instant championship potential. That’s if Dirk’s finally done celebrating his championship enough to get into shape for the season.

– Did I mention how much Schadenfreude Dwight Howard has provided? He totally deserves all of it.

Update: The Hawks also dealt away their dumbest draft pick ever in Marvin Williams to Utah for Devin Harris’s expiring contract setting off a possibly incredible series of events. The Hawks could theoretically have enough cap space in the summer of 2013 to get Dwight Howard, Chris Paul and Josh Smith and fall under the cap. If so, this would make Danny Ferry an Atlanta hero up there with Maurice Garland, MC Shy D and whoever opened up Magic City.

If Dwight Howard waits another year just biding his time, then he’ll be one of the all-time bums in professional sports. How else would you describe an athlete that took off two years in his prime while waiting to go another team just so he can become a bigger celebrity? Exactly. However, if Dwight and CP3 end up in Atlanta, it’d turn the city on its head and make for an incredible situation. Stay tuned.


TOPICS#NBA
TAGSATLANTA HAWKSBROOKLYN NETSDERON WILLIAMSDWIGHT HOWARDJOE JOHNSONORLANDO MAGICSMOKE BREAKSPORTSSpotlight

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