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Thanks A Lot, Media! You’ve Forced Chris Brown Into Retirement With Your Stupid Shenanigans!

By / 08.06.13

Are you happy, media?! Are you satisfied?! Because thanks to you, Christopher Maurice Brown is retiring from music in two freakin’ weeks!

Taking to his Twitter, where he usually goes to tweet & delete, Chris Brown has announced to #TeamBreezy and the rest of the world that he may be retiring after the release of X, the singer’s sixth studio album.


With X‘s scheduled release date being August 20th, this means #TeamBreezy has exactly two weeks to appreciate the sh*t out of Chris Brown, the entertainer and philosopher.

As for you, media, is this what you wanted from Chris when he brutally attacked Rihanna that night he brutally attacked Rihanna? Brutally. Attacked. Rihanna? Is this what you wanted when he strutted around being all unapologetic for his mistakes? Is this what you wanted when he continued to f*ck up, time after time again? Did Michael Jackson not die so “Chris Brown can live?”


Well media, I hope you’re happy because not only are the days of the Geechee over, but so are the days of lisp-y pop dance hits to pop-lock to and sweet, lisp-y R&B jams to screw to.

Congratulations. You win.

Justin Bieber, you’re up.

Photo: Getty


TAGSChris BrownSMOKE BREAK

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