I don’t know what it’s like to come out of the closet or have to tell an audience about my sexuality. So I have no clue what you (or anyone else who has had to “come out”) is going through. But I do know you’re going through something very serious. You have been utilizing transgendered male prostitutes for a while now and have been covering it up. These actions, to the general public, indicate that you’re homosexual.
I don’t give a sh*t.
I can’t stress this to you enough. I don’t give a damn about your sexuality. You’re no less a legend because you may or may not like a physical relationship with another man. Your mixshows aren’t less important to Hip-Hop. Your legacy isn’t tarnished. You’re Mister f*cking Cee. You made Biggie.
But, really, how we feel about you as a musician doesn’t matter as much as what you feel about yourself right now.
I grew up in Mississippi – the heart of the Bible belt – and had a friend, who grew up in the church, try to cope with the fact he was gay. He hated himself. He hated how he felt. He felt cursed and destined to Hell for the way he felt. I heard him say some of the same things you’ve been saying: “I can’t let my family down,” “I’m not gay, I just have physical relationships with men.” While my friends and I tried to reassure him that we loved him no matter his sexuality, he assured us that he’d never be looked at the same again. Really, though, he had to get over his own self-hatred.
Mister Cee, I hope you get counseling – and not pseudo-counseling from your boss that’s just a ratings grab from a group of sharks who may or may not actually give a damn about what you’re going through. You need off-camera, off-air guidance. You need someone to help you understand what you’re feeling and what you’re going through.
But most importantly, you need to stay on the air. You need to keep doing your mix shows. You need to keep being Mister Cee. You’re worried about what the people will think? Here’s what we think:
1. We wish you wouldn’t have insulted our intelligence by denying after all these years of evidence. Yes, it’s a betrayal, but after consideration, we get what you’re going through and how difficult it is.
2. Dude, get a hotel room or a bike or something. Anything. Because, man, the car thing isn’t really working out. If there’s anything you’ll get clowned about, it’s how terrible you are at being discreet, not your choice in companion.
3. If you’d have come out of the closet years ago, maybe you wouldn’t need illegal partners that could land you in jail and ruin your livelihood. This all seems like it could have been avoided with some earlier attempts at personal acceptance, which I know is easier said than done.
You feel like you”let everyone down”? Well, now you have a chance to make it right. Stand strong. On the air. Be a pioneer as the first major homosexual figure in Hip-Hop with a regular on-air presence. Plenty of people could learn by what you’re going through. You can turn your circumstances around and be a pillar of strength for them.
Most importantly, Hip-Hop needs Mister Cee. I know you won’t hear what we’re saying until you accept yourself, but I’ll say it again: I don’t give a sh*t about who you’re laying with. Get on the 1s and 2s and do you.
Now, on to the mix show.