I’m moving to Canada. I’m breaking my lease, packing my bags, and leaving the United States to live in Toronto, Canada. Is it because of the universal health care, clean neighborhoods, and scads of curly-haired, freckled, video models in waiting that pile up in the streets like unread text messages? No, it’s because they have the greatest mayor in the history of the world. So what if he smoked crack. I’m from DC so, well, you know.
For further evidence of Ford’s greatness, I submit for your approval video of the rotund Canuck cursing in Jamaican patois while waiting for his meal in a fast food joint. He kisses his teeth, exclaims “rasclaat,” “bumbaclaat,” and even threw a “cha!” in there for good measure. Can your mayor do that? I didn’t think so. This makes losing El Bloombito just a little bit easier.